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The “This’ll be shit, I reckon” thread

Started by mothman, September 29, 2018, 12:13:44 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

alan nagsworth



The fucking state of this. I had no idea we were back in 2010.

Crabwalk

That poster is everywhere at the moment. Keeps giving me a hate-boner.

Chollis

Seen the trailer for it about a million times FUCK OFF

Bazooka

I always go on the font used for the title to tell if the film is for me, but here I just can't tell who the demographic is.

Armin Meiwes

Didn't know they were making a sequel to The Firm! Absolutely stoked for it after watching the trailer.

https://twitter.com/HLNinEngeland/status/1231341292887605257?s=19

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Military Wives

By the fucking numbers derivative feelgood regional lighthearted comedy but with fucking militarism thrown in.

Can't emphasise just how fucking chokehold munged out fucking bullshit that film looks.

Also KST and Sharon Horgan appear to have very little to no chemistry on screen.

phantom_power

What the fuck is Horgan doing in that shite? She was great as both actress and co-creator of Catastrophe and generally seems to make good choices with what she is in

Head Gardener

the first glimpse of Cats II looks promising


Mister Six

Quote from: Gulftastic on December 23, 2019, 07:32:25 PM
Saw the trailer for the latest Dreamworks bollox before Star Wars:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SAd80L7MaI

The first film was naff, but the Christmas special they did for Netflix was properly great. Honestly.

Head Gardener


Blumf

Quote from: Head Gardener on May 05, 2020, 02:32:17 PM
Tom Cruise to make a movie in space

https://www.space.com/19116-astronauts-taller-space-spines.html
QuoteAstronauts in space can grow up to 3 percent taller during the time spent living in microgravity, NASA scientists say. That means that a 6-foot-tall (1.8 meters) person could gain as many as 2 inches (5 centimeters) while in orbit.

dissolute ocelot

^ Apollo 13 had scenes shot on NASA's zero-g simulating airplane the Vomit Comet. Maybe a gimmick but it fitted with the plot. You can imagine if they shot Flight Plan or Non Stop or Air Force One on an actual plane in midair just for the sake of it, that would be dumb and would add very little to the verisimilitude, although it might add some interest. But equally, I'd be quite interested in watching a disaster movie type thing set on a space-tourism plane where there's a saboteur, a bomb, an estranged couple inadvertently both booked on it, maybe a stowaway kid, and some nice shots out the window.

Best case, it'll be like when Noel Edmonds did a TV show on Concorde. Weirdly fascinating.

rjd2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jy8TRN4EZSE

This looks so bad its good etc..

Premise?

Christian scientists discover time travel, but Islamic terrorist decides to hijack it to go back in time and do the ultimate Jihad and kill Jesus.

I think the chapo guys put it up as top banter...

Dex Sawash


Hand Solo

"Eliminate Christianity by killing Jesus before the Resurrection!"

Don't know if they've thought this through properly but I thought he had to be killed for there to be a resurrection, that's kind of the point? They're actually streamlining Jesus, if anything.

The Culture Bunker

Quote from: rjd2 on May 05, 2020, 11:53:30 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jy8TRN4EZSE

This looks so bad its good etc..

Premise?

Christian scientists discover time travel, but Islamic terrorist decides to hijack it to go back in time and do the ultimate Jihad and kill Jesus.

I think the chapo guys put it up as top banter...
Ah, but said terrorist comes back to the present, destroys the time machine (so no one can undo his work) and realises that because of his actions, not only is there no Christanity, but no Islam too. "The Prophet? Mohammed? Who is this man you talk of? God? What, are you a caveman or something?"

WHAT A TWIST!

Quote from: Hand Solo on May 06, 2020, 03:35:53 AM
"Eliminate Christianity by killing Jesus before the Resurrection!"

Don't know if they've thought this through properly but I thought he had to be killed for there to be a resurrection, that's kind of the point? They're actually streamlining Jesus, if anything.

discussed this with a mate - we were both amazed it existed.

surely the terrorists want to keep him alive and then Christians need to kill him? - hence the bloke taking the role of Simon of Cyrene. He's literally dragging Jesus to his doom.

Hand Solo

Quote from: A Hat Like That on May 06, 2020, 02:53:56 PM
discussed this with a mate - we were both amazed it existed.

surely the terrorists want to keep him alive and then Christians need to kill him? - hence the bloke taking the role of Simon of Cyrene. He's literally dragging Jesus to his doom.

I'd have to watch the actual film for context.. which even during lockdown I'm not sure I could bring myself to.. but yeah, it would be a much more interesting premise if Christians were trying to kill Christ and the Jihadis were trying to keep him alive, whether played serious or #satire.

dissolute ocelot

They could do a sort of Satanic Verses thing where evil Muslims insert into the Bible anti-capitalist messages about rich people being evil and the poor being blessed.

dissolute ocelot

More cinematic Jesus! 260,000 Christians have signed a petition against a film in which Paris Jackson (daughter of everybody's favourite pop star Joe) plays Jesus. As further evidence that 260,000 Christians can sometimes be right, it also features Gavin Rossdale in an unspecified role. Although from other articles it seems the film may not be about the popular Jesus of Herodian Judea but someone who thinks she's Jesus, or really likes Catholic art, or something. And it's being produced by the real son of God, Donovan Leitch. Regardless, it should be stopped based on the Rossdale connection alone.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley


Inspector Norse


Inspector Norse

maybe one good thing about the film is it looks so bad that the real Bowie might actually rise from the dead in order to sue

Gulftastic

Man In The Mirror celebrates no longer being the worst rock biopic.

jobotic


Inspector Norse

Nor were they allowed to watch any footage of him or read anything about him, hence the film apparently being based on someone watching a couple of interviews with Noel Fielding.

Rizla

Quote from: Inspector Norse on October 28, 2020, 06:33:03 PM
fucking hell
Why. Why they do these thing. When artist like Bowie or the Queen man or Elton Johnson lives their life in a spotlight anyway, why they need make laughable crap film, what idiot go watch, haha fucking stupid Marc Maron's in it. "STAMPS DAAHT CAAAHM DAVID! WHO WERE YOUR GUYS COMIN' UP? D'YOU EVER AUDITION FOR SNL, DAVID? COS I DID. BOOMER LIVES on mars"

frajer

"You can't use any of his songs and on a personal level his family would rather you didn't do this."
"Your feedback is noted. See you on the silver screen!"

Ferris


Gulftastic

As someone on another thread said, it's like in 30 Rock when they tried to make a Janis Joplin biopic without proper legal permission.