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The “This’ll be shit, I reckon” thread

Started by mothman, September 29, 2018, 12:13:44 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

El Unicornio, mang

Actually, I just remembered Motherless Brooklyn was a pretty good recent one that he's in. Although
Spoiler alert
he dies after about the first 5 mins
[close]
.

mothman

At one point he was up there with Sly'n'Arnie in the action movie pantheon, but he's fallen harder and faster than they ever did. His recent choices would have Dolph Lundgren saying "Mate."

greenman

Quote from: mothman on February 11, 2021, 12:47:54 AM
At one point he was up there with Sly'n'Arnie in the action movie pantheon, but he's fallen harder and faster than they ever did. His recent choices would have Dolph Lundgren saying "Mate."

I'd say part of the issue is though Willis's original run of success lasted longer, I think you could class him as a "star" who'd had a decent hit ever few years until at least the start of the 2010's were as Sly went into a dip by the late 90's and had a partly nostalgia based revival a decade latter.

He basically seems to have stopped giving a fuck about quality after that and became a B-level Nick Cage who at least throws in an interest oddity every so often and livens up bad/medicore films. I wouldn't be surprised if Die Hard 5's shitness had a lot to do with Willis taking home a large part of the budget and caring little about quality.

I'm guessing there is significant earnings to be made with these direct to streaming/disk like action films even if they make little impression with most of the public.

mothman

Oh yeah, I doubt he's working for peanuts. Although... I wonder, is there some law of diminishing returns to contend with in his situation? As in, the longer he makes these DTVs for relatively small amounts compared to his A-list days, the more his bank ability decreases until one day he's the new Craig Bierko or, worse, Alex Reid?

Maybe the best he can hope for is to be the next Malcolm McDowell. Who has willingly appeared in some complete rubbish, but then continues to appear in some great arthouse films and turn in the odd character-actor supporting role. Willis should get onto that.

SteveDave

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on February 10, 2021, 05:13:57 PM
It would be nice if a good Bruce Willis film was still possible

I stand by the remake of "Death Wish" because it was hilarious.

"Who are you?"
"Your last customer"
BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG

And this is a great last shot of any film...


dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Shameless Custard on February 10, 2021, 07:06:37 PM
Surrogates from 2009 was quite good. But yeah, his recent CV is laughably bad
Surrogates is worse than the similarly themed Gerard Butler film Gamer. I'm honestly sad this thread hasn't named a good Willis film since 12 Monkeys.

St_Eddie

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on February 13, 2021, 11:41:15 PM
I'm honestly sad this thread hasn't named a good Willis film since 12 Monkeys.

The Fifth Element (1997)

The Sixth Sense (1999)

The Seventh Pickle (2000)

Unbreakable (2000)

Moonrise Kingdom (2010)

Quote from: mothman on February 11, 2021, 12:47:54 AM
At one point he was up there with Sly'n'Arnie in the action movie pantheon, but he's fallen harder and faster than they ever did. His recent choices would have Dolph Lundgren saying "Mate."

Had a peek. There's still good stuff until 2012 (Looper, Cold Light of Day, the first RED is fun) and he's at least enjoyable in the GI Joe sequel. But since then its ALL direct to video stuff other than Death Wish. Which, reader, I enjoyed.

His mid-00s stuff has some gems - 16 Blocks is really enjoyable.

mothman

Exactly. Before I looked myself, I'd been thinking that the good films you cite were much longer ago, and then being struck by how long it has been since he did anything good. The best part of a decade since then? That's not a good scoresheet.

Dusty Substance


Cruella (2021).

I mean, it *might* end up being a subversive cinematic classic - Stranger things have happened.

But, fucking hell, the trailer looked like a joke from The Onion.


Custard

I genuinely really enjoyed Surrogates! It's pretty nonsensical, but it's a fun daft little sci-fi

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Gulftastic on February 23, 2021, 08:04:50 PM
No film will ever fit this thread better. None.

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2021/feb/23/robbie-williams-biopic-film-greatest-showman-director-michael-gracey
Look forward to the scene where he fights Gary Barlow to the death atop some attractive Stoke-on-Trent industrial architecture, red bricks flying, Barlow weeping, inappropriate jokes about their waists.

olliebean

Thunder Force (2021)

Melissa McCarthy, directed by Ben Falcone, so... yeah.

mothman

https://youtu.be/H83kjG5RCT8

Given Snyder is very much in our thoughts right now (Justice League, plus I just mentioned his name in the Dawn Of The Dead thread before running and hiding)... thoughts?

Also, WTAF is going on with the poster? What is this, Undertakers Of The Galaxy? Shaun Ragnarok? Something something Suicide Squad?


kalowski

I saw the trailer for that the other day. Christ, I'm sick of cliché riddled shows.

SteveDave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mkiY-37OG4

Isn't this just "Edge Of Tomorrow"? But with Mel Gibson instead of aliens?

mothman

But then by the same coin, "Edge Of Tomorrow" is just "Groundhog Day" but with aliens instead of Andie Macdowell... there's a joke in that but I can't quite figure it out...

That actually looks kind of fun, in a "we really want this trailer to feel like it's for an Edgar Wright film and have that kind of energy that will be sadly lacking in the actual movie" kind of way.

SteveDave

Quote from: Dusty Substance on February 23, 2021, 07:44:44 PM
Cruella (2021).

I mean, it *might* end up being a subversive cinematic classic - Stranger things have happened.

But, fucking hell, the trailer looked like a joke from The Onion.

Not exactly shit (there's some nice bits in there) but totally pointless and nonsensical from what happens in "101 Dalmatians"

olliebean

Quote from: SteveDave on June 02, 2021, 01:24:33 PM
Not exactly shit (there's some nice bits in there) but totally pointless and nonsensical from what happens in "101 Dalmatians"

I found it hard to get past how fake the dogs looked in most of their scenes. As for its relationship to 101 Dalmations, I think it's meant to be a preboot rather than a prequel.

Sonny_Jim

Quote from: mothman on June 02, 2021, 12:06:30 AM
But then by the same coin, "Edge Of Tomorrow" is just "Groundhog Day" but with aliens instead of Andie Macdowell
Groundhog Day is just 12:01 but with a scientist instead of Bill Murray.

And 12:01 is just 12:01 but with less plot and more Kurtwood Smith.

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Sonny_Jim on June 03, 2021, 08:55:01 AM
Groundhog Day is just 12:01 but with a scientist instead of Bill Murray.

And 12:01 is just 12:01 but with less plot and more Kurtwood Smith.
Time-loop movies are a whole genre now, with that Andy Samburg thing and multiple horror films. The body-swap film of the new millennium. I'm sure it must seem an exciting filmmaking challenge to structure something that's just the same thing happening over and over, and an acting challenge to show a leading character mature and grow. Shame they don't typically put much thought into the other aspects.

Boss Level does not look good. Everything about it screams lazy. Or 15 years out of date. Can we have a ban on films casting an actor of restricted stature just to be quirky (or at least unless it's Peter Dinklage). And a ban on casting antisemitic wife-beaters. Also, what has happened to Naomi Watts' career? IMDb says she's still best known for Mulholland Dr
Spoiler alert
ive
[close]
.

Blumf

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on June 03, 2021, 09:08:00 PM
Boss Level

Is there an acknowledged sub-genre of video game structured films? Specifically not the action itself, and not direct game films (Mortal Kombat etc.) but the level like sequencing and sometimes the respawn/restart contrivance.

You got Boss Level, Hardcore Henry, and Crank which wear their VG inspiration clearly. I've even heard The Cremaster Cycle of films take a VG like structure, never bothered with them though.

Not sure if I'd include Edge of Tomorrow, it's a kinda edge case, maybe. I think it's a fine line between plain time-looping and the respawn styles.

phantom_power

The Big Boss
Dredd
The Raid

The all have "levels" that the hero needs to clear to progress

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: phantom_power on June 04, 2021, 10:00:00 AM
The Big Boss
Dredd
The Raid

The all have "levels" that the hero needs to clear to progress
Scott Pilgrim vs The World. I guess there's quite a few like this.

Mister Six

Quote from: El Unicornio, mang on February 08, 2021, 03:03:59 PM
Haha, genuinely looks like a comedy parody of an M. Night Shyamalan film

I like how it seems to be reusing the tired old "wife thinks house is haunted but weary, sceptical husband demands they stay", except instead of sinking all their money into a new home in some rural area, they've just... gone to the beach? Why not drive off to another beach and get an ice cream?

Bad Ambassador

Quote from: Mister Six on June 04, 2021, 12:01:38 PM
I like how it seems to be reusing the tired old "wife thinks house is haunted but weary, sceptical husband demands they stay", except instead of sinking all their money into a new home in some rural area, they've just... gone to the beach? Why not drive off to another beach and get an ice cream?

Because the ice cream is made of their own grandparents.

SteveDave

https://www.nme.com/news/music/rob-zombie-to-direct-new-movie-based-on-the-munsters-2963325

This ain't your great-granddaddies "The Munsters" I'm guessing they'll be freaks mutated by space dust from a satellite and his wife will get her tits out.

Brundle-Fly

The sequel could be The Munsters V The Addams Family: Requiem.

dissolute ocelot

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on June 08, 2021, 02:10:22 PM
The sequel could be The Munsters V The Addams Family: Requiem.
Sorry, Munsters are NBC/Universal, Addamses are MGM. Munsters would have to take on Frasier, Coffee Friends, Ted, Pitch Perfect, Trolls and Shrek.