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Blinkbat Games (Enviro-Bear, Desert Golfing and more)

Started by alan nagsworth, October 03, 2018, 12:59:14 PM

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alan nagsworth

I figured I'd start a thread for Blinkbat as this dev makes exactly the sort of mobile games I love (I hardly play games whatsoever but this shit is perfect) and the wider world needs to know about it. The majority of these games are intentionally frustrating, with flimsy physics, dismal Atari-esque graphics and altogether fucking hilarious gameplay.

Let's start with my personal favourite, Desert Golfing, which is not similar to the other Blinkbat titles in that the physics are very straightforward and the insane/absurd aspect is here replaced with a peaceful zen that is achieved through relentless, seemingly endless patience-teaching gameplay. There are, I'm told, roughly 10,000 holes to play, all of which were randomly generated by a very basic algorithm, and the game does not get progressively difficult. Some holes take 50 shots to beat, others are just a straight line. Very occasionally you'll have a pool of water as an obstacle, but otherwise it's just you and the sand. I have been on and off playing DG for around two years and I'm now on hole 9,600, so I'm very fucking close to the end, and I find that a great shame. There is no reset button, no menu options, nothing except a hole counter and a shot counter. You just keep going. It's utterly brilliant and I think one of the best little games I've ever played.



Next up is Enviro-Bear 2010, a maddening game in which you play a bear driving a car trying to stock up as much hibernation food in 60 seconds. You only have two hands. One of which needs to steer the car and operate the pedals, the other needs to grab food or other objects around you. There are tips and tricks to make the gameplay easier but it's probably better to let you figure that out yourself. It's very funny.



Another big favourite of mine is Realistic Summer Sports Simulator, which is about as unrealistic and fucking stupid as a track and field game can get. The physics here would be infuriating if the gameplay weren't so joyously dumb. There are ways to figure out the daft mechanics of each sport but it's in no way conventional. Completely ridiculous. The music and sfx are also really jarring and blunt, which adds to the intensity of some of the challenges. This is a great drunken party game if you hook it up to Apple TV or whatever.



I'll come back and chat about a couple of the others later, especially So Long, Oregon!, but for now I'll close by saying PLAY DESERT GOLFING

alan nagsworth

Just completed Desert Golfing. 10,000 holes, and then just ocean. Pinged the ball off into the water, didn't re-materialise. That's it, the end. I would be lying if I said I weren't upset about this. I feel like part of me has died.

I had a shot average of 2.65 per hole though which is fuckin' sweet. Eat it, world.