Author Topic: Japanese Boredom Combat, Go, Go, GO!  (Read 1328 times)

Japanese Boredom Combat, Go, Go, GO!
« on: February 22, 2004, 09:29:59 PM »
CUE: Led Zeppelin - Kashmir


Hello Chiefs!

It is I, Shigeru Sakamoto, from the Osaka Institute For Studies In Combatting Boredom, and the Effetcs Therein on Japanese Youth! Or OIFSICBETJY!, for short.

Here in my home town of Osaka, we are seeing many young ones, heads down, limbs loose, face morose like grieving monkey, it is a very sad affair chiefs. Our young ones have attention span, short, like Woody Allen penis.


Even my young son, Hideo, he is having some symptom, I buy him Xbox, I buy him GBA, I buy him PSX, I buy him iPod, I buy him 'Suji-San', being wise-talking robotic elephant from Sony, my son says 'This shit is so lames'. Where he is learning such language, I do not knowing, but I am suspecting those Jim Davidson tapes he bought from internet.

Working with 'boredom peeps' day in, day out, can become quite tiresome chiefs. One time, I am dressed as amusing clown and spraying them with soda, 'PSHHHHHHH', 'PSHHHHHH', hoho, I am laughing like lucky man who has reached into pockets to find free tickets to Neil Diamond concert. The young ones, they faces stay put. Then later that day, I go to car park, to find my car upside downs, and filled up with 'Toji-Chews', being chewy-chewy gums in shape of magical tiger, with a soy center.

This makes me sad. But so I continue with my studies. At moment I work closely with young one called 'Koji' he is being 19 and is more bored than many others I have seen. Infact chiefs, his boredom is being immense, off the scales, just like three-headed dragon beast on fire, and screaming to the heavens to have the Cloud-God 'Ojin-Ka' to surrender the many forests of Oedo, he is just like this, except he wears chino's.

I am talking to Koji-San as we eat hamburger in pachinko parlour, and asking hims why he is so bored, and so frequently also. He is explaining to me that he is bored with boredom, and that boredom is so boring and that all things have become boring, even being bored, but being bored is a constant state, the boredom is neverending like tap-dancing red snapper from the 'Power Beer' advertisment, and that, just like that very red snapper, he too feels he is contsantly tap-dancing, tap, tap, tap-tap...

At which point I had to sedate him with Tazer, as he was boring me.

Walking back home that night, through downtown Tokyo, I look at the many lights, the video images, the traffic, the young ones, walking, head town, like robo's from anime 'Many, many Robo's have Guns, YES? So Giddyups!', and I am thinking, 'These young ones don't know they're born'.

Later that night, while wife sleeps and Hideo stares at wall and hums to self, I sit and play 'Ocarina Of Time' for fiftieth time, smiling all the while, like man who has vacation in London and bumps into Phil Collins.

I shall not to give in this boredom-devil, whom I have named 'Tetsujin-Orinoco', I shall fight hims, like Jonathan Pryce in 'Brazil', except my wings will not be made of silver metal, but of knowledge. The knowledge of Nintendo, the knowledge of Juno Reactor, the knowledge of Pachinko, the knowledge of Takashi Miike, the knowledge of Use Your Illusion, parts 1 AND 2, oh yes chiefs.

My battle will continue....

And if I fail, I go back to work as drug smuggler for Yakuza..


Vermschneid Mehearties

  • phpBB A lesson in quantity over quality
Japanese Boredom Combat, Go, Go, GO!
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2004, 09:36:37 PM »
is more bored than many others I have seen. Infact chiefs, his boredom is being immense, off the scales

You've just nicked the language style from the cartoon 'Roll up! Roll up!'...

And slow down. There'll be hardly any space left for monging at this rate.

Japanese Boredom Combat, Go, Go, GO!
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2004, 11:04:33 PM »
I wish I was as trendy as Koji and wore chinos.