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March 28, 2024, 09:14:44 AM

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McDonald's Secret Menu Items

Started by Gregory Torso, October 10, 2018, 09:14:42 AM

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Gregory Torso

Ronald McDonald restaurant is offering a selection of SECRET MENU ITEMS including -



Reggae Chicken - a dreadlock of raincloud-grey cheese draped on a corpse.

The Wheelchair - an anus and stomach pasty served in a white-hot metal chassis.

Potatoes In Deep Trouble - smashed tatty child droppings.

Football-O-Dogshit - available any time, must be ordered using the phrase "EAT ME SOME DOGSHIT".

An Altar Of Beaks And Malfunctions - guaranteed sourced only from Nazi-occupied, field-mortared hens.

Molerats In White Gravy - an unpardonable error of diet.

Side Birds







Big Mac Street Style - A Big Mac with the famous sauce replaced with vanilla ice cream.

Quarter Pounder with Dick - Our famous Quarter Pounder, with no cheese. A man named Richard* will sit with you whilst you eat.

Stuff Box Cocktail - A Big Mac box filled with a 100% beef patty, a chicken nugget, a handful of Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate pieces, a slice of tomato, a slice of cheese and strawberry milkshake, vigorously shaken for three minutes. Eaten with a McFlurry spoon. Order before 12pm and receive a complimentary copy of the movie Cocktail on DVD.

McBresslaw - A standard cheeseburger but akwardly stuffed into a medium fries box to take away. Cannot be eaten on the premises.

*McDonald's reserves the right to supply a man with an alternative name during busy periods.

popcorn

Cum burger

Shit burger

Piss burger

Vom burger


Shoulders?-Stomach!

Acquired immune deficiency syndrome tower feast meal


Pdine

Goosefat Shake served in the shitter one of the Basse Yutz Flagons.

Paul Calf



Prawn Royale - Sugar doughnut topped with a cheese slice, served in a freshly toasted bagel.

Bacon? - Just a bit of bacon in a bag. Lovely stuff.

Hash Brown Texas Style - Hash Brown marinated in barbecue sauce for three weeks before being slow cooked in the oven for two hours. A real breakfast treat. £15.


thraxx

Phillipa Fish. Prime cut of zero hours employee who died of exhaustion in freezer 6 months ago.

Old Style Chips. A potato.

Burger Shakes. Free BSE with every burger bought in the UK before 1989.

BlodwynPig



thraxx

Quote from: Paul Calf on October 10, 2018, 12:06:50 PM
McFly

Just got back from the year 3,000.  Not much had changed but McDonalds had ceased to exist due to its unsustainable business model and changes to global attitudes about climate change and the morality of animal farming.  And your great, great, great grand daughter, eats at Five Guys.  (Fii-iivvvvveee Guuuuyz).

checkoutgirl

Patrick McGooHam

Dunno what it is but maybe someone can be arsed filling in the blanks.

Bazooka

McOpium Saver Menu- 99p for a straight into the bladder intravenous.

popcorn


seepage

The Cheeseburger Stack (just 3 ISO cheeseburgers smashed on top of each other - standard fare to line the stomach before a heavy sess) 

Quite A Good Burger And Excellent Fries, Actually (Canary Wharf only)

seepage

Quote from: Gregory Torso on October 10, 2018, 09:14:42 AM
Molerats In White Gravy

I think this is called 'Milky Mouse' on the childrens' menu

hamfist


zomgmouse

McSteaming Festering Turd Burger

Just lumps of pure shit thwacked on a bun and served with a radish.

Ferris

The McSpecial.
It's a burger, but the burger bits are actually just another burger.

Fries, But Not Shit.
The good ones they keep behind the till for when Ronald (or any other senior McD's official) pops in.

Glebe

Cooked gleats.
Raw macaque.
Lovely bunions.
Whelk "surprize".
Deep troubles.
Whole lotta gizzums.


popcorn

#24
Pubes shake

Pubes McFlurry

Piss McFlurry

Ronald's Special Shandy - A third of a cup of chocolate milkshake topped off with Fanta.

Ronald's Special Shandy DX - As above but with a Ketchup sachet mixed in too.

McMichael - A single Chicken Select presented in the centre of a whole head of lettuce.

Grimmace's Shame - A Zinger tower burger, purchased from the KFC around the corner. £35.


Replies From View

Wank McNuggets:  nuggets of mechanically recovered and reconstituted wank

McTesco:  a meal that is like the Berlin Wall in the sense that bits of concrete structure are in it

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Replies From View Burger: Standard hamburger, but with a photograph of Brian Cant in his younger days sellotaped onto it.

Dua Lipa Burger: Standard cheeseburger, but with the buns put on upside down. Reason for calling it Dua Lipa burger actually very unclear.

Wanda Ventham: Actress who was quite a looker in her day, Sherlock's mum.

Ferris

Apocalypse Cow

The burger is beef and the beef is made of beef and also the lettuce and bread and everything is all made of beef. Served on an unhappy napkin.