Poo

[saltysnacks]

Funny, isnt it?

[Pearly-Dewdrops Drops]

Not really.

[saltysnacks]

No pleasing some folks.

[thenoise]

Haha gud 1 Mate

[New Jack]

Haha, crap, great eh. Fascinating innit. How far would you go with poo, OP? Would you look at a shit for ten seconds? Would you memorise every detail, every line, every lump? Would you be tempted to pick it up? Just hold it in your hand there, like a stunned bird. Would you feel its weight, OP, would you test its weight with your hand? Would you lean in closer, would you get a small sniff, would you want to smell it to check just how stinky it is? How much your own shit stinks, OP? Would you give it a tiny lick, just to see, nothing funny. Just to see, OP? And what if you liked that taste, OP, not liked exactly as in yum yum delicious but you got a hard on, OP, and suddenly felt ravenous, OP? Would you greedily cram that dirty fucking shit into your gaping maw, OP, stuffing it down your throat, chewing it hard, gobble gobble, your tongue working it, brown shit-liquid oozing out from between your teeth as you furiously tug your member, not even caring that you're ruining your reputation as a freelance baby photographer?

[saltysnacks]

Haha, crap, great eh. Fascinating innit. How far would you go with poo, OP? Would you look at a shit for ten seconds? Would you memorise every detail, every line, every lump? Would you be tempted to pick it up? Just hold it in your hand there, like a stunned bird. Would you feel its weight, OP, would you test its weight with your hand? Would you lean in closer, would you get a small sniff, would you want to smell it to check just how stinky it is? How much your own shit stinks, OP? Would you give it a tiny lick, just to see, nothing funny. Just to see, OP? And what if you liked that taste, OP, not liked exactly as in yum yum delicious but you got a hard on, OP, and suddenly felt ravenous, OP? Would you greedily cram that dirty fucking shit into your gaping maw, OP, stuffing it down your throat, chewing it hard, gobble gobble, your tongue working it, brown shit-liquid oozing out from between your teeth as you furiously tug your member, not even caring that you're ruining your reputation as a freelance baby photographer?

WANKING NOW!

[thenoise]

Who remembers ratemypoo.com? Actual pictures of people's plops haha quality bants from my pants geddit

[saltysnacks]

Those were the days lad.

[canadagoose]

Was it Mailwatch or here that the Bristol Stool Chart became a meme? Always put me off my dinner, that did.

[thenoise]

Every time I do a poo I laugh. How can such a simple and regular bodily function be so funny? If you are bored of shites you're bored of life, that's what I always say.

[BlodwynPig]

Well I was loathe to contribute to this thread but I have been eating a lot of roasted beetroot recently and I noticed today the after-toilet water colour was bright purple. Probably the beets? yeh? Beets not blood?

[QDRPHNC]

hugs not thugs

[BlodwynPig]

hugs not thugs

it's arrived then?

[Cerys]

Is there anyone who doesn't automatically look at their merrily-bobbing or lazily-resting turds before flushing?

[Twed]

I make it a habit of inspecting and smelling everything before I eat it.

[Captain Z]

:(

[Lord Mandrake]

Hey guys

I used to think that when you grew up you wouldntbhave to poo anymore.



Ok cheers

[Sebastian Cobb]

Threads like this are wasted on the earnest navel-gazers of GB. Should've gone with H.S. Art mate.

[saltysnacks]

Threads like this are wasted on the earnest navel-gazers of GB. Should've gone with H.S. Art mate.

This is very serious.

[Chairman Bodog]

I've been back on the biting downers so the forces I've pulled look like goody bag hare drops. Masons wanted no tryhards and no PC culture. Blacked dough balls. Winning.

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

Anyone else out there have a "shit shelf" toilet?

[Chairman Bodog]

Got a sop drop.

[Gregory Torso]

I always leave a black shock up the back wall.

[Chairman Bodog]

That's the mark of a hardman.

[idunnosomename]

Anyone else out there have a "shit shelf" toilet?

thank god after brexit i never have to see a continental shelf ever again.

[hummingofevil]

I've had weird lower abdominal pain on and off for two days. Maybe undiagnosed IBS type thing. I've just eaten two big bowls of All Bran as death or glory medication.

Poo

[Blinder Data]

Don't you just love it when you really need a poo and it simply falls out of your arse as soon as bum meets seat?

Like it's got a will of its own

Plop

[Lost Oliver]

Went to the toilet at work yesterday and en route I said hello to my boss. When I got into the non gender specific bog I realised that she must've just visited herself and it absolutely stank. It was a weird situation. Knowing that I was at that very moment inhaling my manager's faeces.

[seepage]

I always leave a black shock up the back wall.

You work at the same place I do, don't you? Can't you just go at home?

[pancreas]

Went to the toilet at work yesterday and en route I said hello to my boss. When I got into the non gender specific bog I realised that she must've just visited herself and it absolutely stank. It was a weird situation. Knowing that I was at that very moment inhaling my manager's faeces.

I won't do it. I refuse to do it. I use the disableds. No fucking way am I inhaling someone else's faecis fumes.