Poo

[Small Man Big Horse]

I won't do it. I refuse to do it. I use the disableds. No fucking way am I inhaling someone else's faecis fumes.

Disableds do shit as well. I saw a video once so know for certain.

[Cerys]

Some of us have bionic arses, too, so the faecal matter can be sprayed around the room at a much higher rate.

[a duncandisorderly]

I used the disableds so I can wave my arms around whilst defecating.
next week, selected by some sort of NHS lottery, I'm having a camera up the jacks. they've sent me a 'kit' with which I'm to empty that space first.

I'm hoping they don't find anything, obvs, unless it's something useful or valuable that I've mislaid.

there's been nothing but poo up there, as far as I know, since my ex's thumb went up it twenty years ago. "oi," says I, "we'l have less."

[steve98]

Was it Mailwatch or here that the Bristol Stool Chart became a meme? Always put me off my dinner, that did.

You've reminded me of The Bristol Poo Woman.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

[saltysnacks]

I poo most days.

[flotemysost]

There's a secluded bog on the ground floor at my office which is, by unspoken unanimous agreement, the shitting loo (which I sing in my head to the tune of 'The Killing Moon' every time i use it). You need a shit, you go in that one.

There's a lovely sixty-something lady from another department who I sometimes pass on the way into this this facility, and she always gives me a cheeky, knowing smile, like we both know what's about to go down.

We're due to move offices quite soon, I hope to god in the new place they've made provisions for the company's need to defecate in peace.

[PlanktonSideburns]

There's a secluded bog on the ground floor at my office which is, by unspoken unanimous agreement, the shitting loo (which I sing in my head to the tune of 'The Killing Moon' every time i use it). You need a shit, you go in that one.

There's a lovely sixty-something lady from another department who I sometimes pass on the way into this this facility, and she always gives me a cheeky, knowing smile, like we both know what's about to go down.

We're due to move offices quite soon, I hope to god in the new place they've made provisions for the company's need to defecate in peace.

Everyone else is using that toilet to use the secret n64 they have stashed in the maintenance panel. There's a secret fzerox tournament going on in there, sorry to let you know like this.

They've been wondering who keeps on doing honking jobbies in there every day. I'm sorry I've got no choice but to pass this information on. I would think that that probably blows your chances of an invite now mate. Nice one

[Fambo Number Mive]

I think restaurant reviews would be improved if those writing them were happy to mention the poo they did after eating the meal.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Agreed. The post curry poo is an important part of the process in particular

[thenoise]

I believe Victor Lewis-Smith received a few letters of complaint during his Guardian restaurant reviewing days when a review spent longer describing his own bowel habits than the starter.  I can't stand foodie bullshit, but I found it funny, so wrong crowd I guess.

[MuteBanana]

*Gillian McKeith is excited*

Other day I had this urge to find out just what the hell a bidet is for and how people use it. You'll never guess what. After doing a shit, you get off the toilet and then straddle the bidet. You then fiddle about with the tap and that and it rinses your arse. Sprays water up there. Then you have to dry it off with some toilet paper. What a palava.