Author Topic: trashbat.film  (Read 3029 times)

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
trashbat.film
« on: October 30, 2018, 11:13:11 PM »
Apologies if there's already been a thread on this.

Bref. Getting friends over. Want to watch absolute shite like The Room so you can talk over it and revel in its disgrace. But we've all seen that.

Can't decide between a John Waters film—which will no doubt horrify them to buggery, because they haven't seen anything like it—or a new recommendation that I have yet to watch called Samurai Cop.

So that's

Polyester

or

Samurai Cop.

or …

Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2018, 11:23:40 PM »
A Neil Breen film, if you can get your hands on one.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2018, 11:24:26 PM »

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2018, 11:28:26 PM »
or

Bronx Warriors

feat. a young panco Bamberino.

gib

  • weak and wobbly
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2018, 11:32:53 PM »
Warriors

This looks perfect, the baseball bat fight scene near the end there...

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2018, 11:34:31 PM »
This looks perfect, the baseball bat fight scene near the end there...

Tangerine Dream soundtrack too (well nicked for the trailer from Sorcerer soundtrack).

Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2018, 12:02:16 AM »
The Warriors isn't a shit film.

Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2018, 12:02:57 AM »
The Warriors doesn't belong in this thread, it's a near perfect film.

I nominate Futurekick.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3q9oKYsLGY

Or Hologram Man.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOThmk6j25Q

Or Gymkata
https://www8.putlockertv.se/watch/gymkata.o7w4/r3yqyo

Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2018, 12:10:30 AM »
Anything by Troma, but particularly:

Surf Nazis Must Die

Sgt Kabukiman NYPD

The Toxic Avenger

Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2018, 12:17:29 AM »
Toxic Avenger is not a shit film!

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2018, 12:17:52 AM »
The Warriors isn't a shit film.

No, neither is Bronx Warriors. But the emphasis is on trashy and fun, surely.

Small Man Big Horse

  • Member
  • **
  • Writers wanted for comedy website, pls click below
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2018, 12:18:32 AM »
I'm in the middle of watching The Last Vampire On Earth and it's shockingly badly made, with poor editing, a terrible sound mix and awful performances, so it might be what you're looking for. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1778346/

Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2018, 12:20:28 AM »
If you want trashy and fun, as opposed to captivatingly/laughably shit, you should watch Repo Man, or maybe even Videodrome.

Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2018, 12:29:26 AM »
the emphasis is on trashy and fun, surely.
I got the impression that it was ironic 'so bad it's good' type of stuff. The Warriors has certainly got a camp streak, but it's not the sort of thing I'd have thought of from the opening post.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2018, 01:38:46 AM »
I got the impression that it was ironic 'so bad it's good' type of stuff. The Warriors has certainly got a camp streak, but it's not the sort of thing I'd have thought of from the opening post.

It's right up Panco's street. Those muscle men and camp pimps.

Delete Delete Delete

  • Cab TV Tue at 6pm https://live.fc2.com/6162694/
    • Cab TV
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #15 on: October 31, 2018, 11:41:16 AM »
Try either

Miami Connection (1987) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpZu69OB2KM

or

Hard Ticket To Hawaii (1987) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCM6HCTJeRU

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2018, 11:50:55 AM »
The Room can get right to fuck - it's so intensely dull and boring I've never understood how it's become considered among the trashy "so bad it's good" elite.

You want Shark Attack 3, the king of shit and trashy entertainment that guarantees smiles and guffaws, and you don't need a room full of hundreds of people for the magic to happen.

Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #17 on: October 31, 2018, 12:01:39 PM »
Troll 2 is always a great if obvious choice. There's a surprisingly touching documentary about it too.

NoSleep

  • feat. Keith Jarrett and his singing parrot
    • Space Is The Place
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #18 on: October 31, 2018, 12:33:37 PM »
Samurai Cop looks ace!

You couldn't go wrong with a bit a of Plan 9 From Outer Space (or any other Ed Wood film) and Troll 2 has yet to be mentioned is seconded, but I suspect these are already well known.

I can recommend Patrick Swayze vehicle (with four spare tyres in the boot) Road House for a combination of fun and complete confusion as to how so much money could be spent on such a turkey. Adult Swim's Squidbillies has an episode that is a tribute to (the shitness of) the film.

Even more confusing is "Rutger Hauer vehicle" (he appears on the DVD cover and the first minute of the film) Reverend (about a vampire reverend) and featuring Emily Booth (from Bits) and Shane Richie as her pimp (doing a terrible English take on Harvey Keitel's pimp in Taxi Driver). "From the comic book of the same name" it claims, but no such comic book ever saw the light of day. Take this more as a warning than a recommendation.

another Mr. Lizard

  • It's a plastic bag with plastic handles
    • https://darrellpbuxton.wixsite.com/mysite
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #19 on: October 31, 2018, 01:02:51 PM »
2019: After The Fall Of New York would be my pick here. Lots of celebrated Italian cult movie people involved in a Mad Max 2 rip-off that rather missed the boat, coming along some time after the first wave of Italo-apocalypse flicks. Ideal for chatting over and taking the piss out of. You know when people say "why doesn't anyone remake bad films instead of good ones?" - well, they kind of did here, as it shares more than a little with Children Of Men from two decades later.

And if you like this, follow it up with Rats: Nights Of Terror for more Italian end of the world fun.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #20 on: October 31, 2018, 01:14:27 PM »
The Room can get right to fuck - it's so intensely dull and boring I've never understood how it's become considered among the trashy "so bad it's good" elite.

You want Shark Attack 3, the king of shit and trashy entertainment that guarantees smiles and guffaws, and you don't need a room full of hundreds of people for the magic to happen.

No love for the Minotaur series?

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #21 on: October 31, 2018, 01:18:50 PM »

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #22 on: October 31, 2018, 01:21:23 PM »
...it's called "Minotaur".

A horror of sorts, it builds on the classic myth of the Minotaur from Greek legend.

Set in an unrevealed period, it features a rumour spreading round an Abyssian town that there is untold wealth to be found in yonder mountains. The story is told to the townsfolk by a robed stranger who is not seen again.

A group of men travel to the mountains and discover a structure they'd never come across before. After several failed attempts to gain access, a young blind boy emerges from the wooded area around the fortress and utters the word "Baal". A door opens upon blackness.

Within the walls, the men discover a labyrinth, cold and unlighted accept for their torches. Several hours pass as they venture deeper into the maze, seeing weird symbols inscribed on the walls. They then begin to hear even stranger sounds echoing in the black. Of course, eventually the minotaur reveals itself in a chaos of violence and rage, sending the men scattering. The "leader" is the only one brave enough to confront the beast but he is forced back and manages to find the exit whilst many of the men are heard perishing at the hands of the minotaur.

Several days later the leader gathers more men, this time armed with weaponry. They once more tentatively seek ingress. "Baal" the leader utters.

Inside they trace the line of corpses of their kinsfolk along maddening paths, finding hidden chambers of wonderful and ghastly figurines. Some of the men are transfixed and remain in the chambers, suffering fates of a varied but always terminal hue.

Eventually only a handful of men find their way to the centre of the maze and again are confronted by the minotaur. It rampages and kills, its immense bulk impervious to the spears and arrows. The leader however, armed with a trident and net, manages to suppress the bull. The three remaining men hack at it with swords, eventually killing the demonic bull.

"At last, we may take our reward" shouts the leader.

At this instant, a door opens in the central plinth and a terrible wind rushes to meet the adventurers.
A voice, deep and ungodly emanates from within.
"Baaaaaaaal"

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #23 on: October 31, 2018, 01:21:51 PM »
No love for the Minotaur series?

Blods - we both know, as well should everyone else, that the Minotaur series is high art.  Akira Kurosawa WISHES he could make a film as good as anything in the series, and he's dead!

Small Man Big Horse

  • Member
  • **
  • Writers wanted for comedy website, pls click below
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #24 on: October 31, 2018, 01:27:22 PM »
You could give The Karate Dog a shot - after all he's a dog who does martial arts! He's voiced by Chevy Chase as well, and it's so bad it made me laugh a good few times.

A Car With No Doors

  • It's Broken!
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #25 on: October 31, 2018, 03:16:49 PM »
The Room can get right to fuck - it's so intensely dull and boring I've never understood how it's become considered among the trashy "so bad it's good" elite.

I watched it expecting a riotous laugh-a-thon and instead felt very depressed. Last time I brought it up on here everybody seemed to act like I was crying at Johnny's plight, rather than being disturbed by Wiseau's unintentional portrait of himself as a deluded, narcissistic misogynist.

To be fair I was on my own. Might have been good with some friends like.

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #26 on: October 31, 2018, 06:53:41 PM »
I watched it expecting a riotous laugh-a-thon and instead felt very depressed. Last time I brought it up on here everybody seemed to act like I was crying at Johnny's plight, rather than being disturbed by Wiseau's unintentional portrait of himself as a deluded, narcissistic misogynist.

To be fair I was on my own. Might have been good with some friends like.

It takes a LOT of people to make up for the sheer inanity of it.  I've watched it with groups of five or six and there was nary a smirk and it always gets turned off after about twenty minutes.  Always.

Shark Attack 3, on the other hand - wow.

buzby

  • Member
  • **
Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #27 on: October 31, 2018, 07:01:55 PM »
If you like your absolute dogshit films with a heavy soupçon of homoeroticism, have a look at the oeuvre of notorious director David DeCoteau, who casts buff blokes with no acting ability and then proceeds to find reasons to get them out of their gear at every opportunity. Bigfoot vs. D. B. Cooper would be a good place to start.

Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #28 on: October 31, 2018, 07:09:09 PM »
Seriously lads, Gymkata is amazingly shit.



Quote
The best thing about "Gymkata" is that it takes itself very seriously. Actual men and women worked on this film with no intention of creating a hysterically abominable failure. Yet, despite a premise that fails to produce anything beyond derisive laughter, the project somehow landed financing.

Highlights include: The Khan of Parmistan, a man who looks like Albert Einstein with Carl Levin's comb-over. "The Town of the Crazies," a village of criminally insane people. A man who severs his own hand for no apparent reason in the aforementioned town. A man (also in that town) who wears a cloak with the back cut out to reveal his buttocks. The oft-repeated location, "Karabal, on the Caspian Sea." The title card that lets us know when we've arrived at "Karabal, on the Caspian Sea." Princess Rubali and her odd fascination with cutlery. A man named "Thorg," who has been admired by the hero "since Munich." An actual line of dialogue that refers to "a nightmare in hell." The five punch/kick sound effects that get recycled beyond believability. A character who presumably fell to his death in a gaping, barren canyon only to have his fall "broken by some trees." The random placement of gymnastics apparatuses. The complete lack of resolution to numerous dangling plot points. Kurt Thomas's wardrobe and haircut. The men working at "The Salt Mines," who just poke a large pile of refined salt with hoes. Also, we get the privilege of seeing a shadowy government agent push away a gymnastics groupie who tries to get too close to a post-dismount Kurt Thomas.

If you happen across this movie, you must watch it. "Gymkata" stands as an example of what happens when no one offers a dissenting opinion anywhere in the filmmaking process. This is a technique that was later revealed in Joel Schumacher's "Batman & Robin."

"Gymkata" fulfills every expectation you may have of a film combining gymnastics and ninjitsu. Plenty of gymnastics, plenty of ninjitsu. See it with a friend and enjoy its many failures. All hail "Gymkata!"


Re: trashbat.film
« Reply #29 on: October 31, 2018, 07:16:01 PM »
Essex Spacebin is an almost unwatchable mess but it's also pretty special https://youtu.be/P9hLO_9n1J0