Play-it-safe Paul

[New Jack]

Paul meets a young man coming up on MDMA, chattering about how we are all the same, how our personal choices don't matter, you're more than your favourite film or favourite brand, we all have our favourites, we all love things, man, we all have our choices in life, it's only put divisions that define us, we we are all the same!

Paul certainly bertainly can't take umbrage with this, and is even happy even someone on drugs can see the wisdom of what he worked out years ago, though quickly distances himself from the young man in case the police suddenly burst into the Dog and Duck and conduct a raid and place them together in a legal or social or sexual or political sense.

[Berthas Fat Leg]

Paul's all-time favourite dessert? Gotta be Plain Vanilla yoghurt and a nice room-temperature glass of water.

[:(]

Paul never travels abroad because of "getting the shits" and rabies

[:(]

Paul boils eggs for 90 mins.

[Fishfinger]

Yeah, we were thinking white for the living room.

[Berthas Fat Leg]

Ready Salted's fine, thanks.

[Delete Delete Delete]

Paul uses an entire roll in the office toilet.

"Shine it up, Buttercup!"

[seepage]

Tonight, Paul's going to overclock his PC

err, on second thoughts...

[Replies From View]

Every day, play-it-safe Paul carefully does all his worktime guffs into a sealable freezer bag, which he takes home and wraps in tin foil before pushing it to the bottom of his kitchen bin.

[Delete Delete Delete]

Nobody will ever know it was you Paul, nobodys here, you deserved that jamie Dodger. You earned it.


Paul leaves the work canteen with a Digestive.

[New Jack]

Paul never travels abroad because of "getting the shits" and rabies

They don't even come together in a pint glass. You can't even get pints. Fucks sake. New Brighton it is, they don't skimp there

[Glebe]

On-the-nose Nerys has written a short story about how "them foreign-ones" have "taken over our village!" Play-it-safe Paul thinks she should "play it safe!" and not send it into the monthly village magazine.

"It's too 'on-the-nose', Nerys. I don't like 'em either and am a rabid UKIP supporter, but all that stuff about them squatting in listed buildings is too obvious... too 'on-the-nose'!

[Delete Delete Delete]

Paly It safe paul will not use a tumbler when he plays board games.

"The Dice might fly out and menence a poor childs eye."

[New Jack]

Paly It safe paul will not use a tumbler when he plays board games.

"The Dice might fly out and menence a poor childs eye."

Buckaroo fucks his nerves up bigtime.

Don't even start on Kerplunk

[Delete Delete Delete]

Buckaroo fucks his nerves up bigtime.

Don't even start on Kerplunk

Won't even play scarbble incase he accidently picks a rude word out of the bag.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Paul still has his y2k bug survival kit. "You never know what might happen in 2038!" he says.

[Replies From View]

To avoid paper cuts, play-it-safe Paul immediately puts all the post he receives in the recycling bin without opening it.

[saltysnacks]

Paul goes out 'for a drink', has one drink and goes home

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Paul has a wank. On goes the condom. Well, it's common sense, isn't it ?

[Glebe]

Paul is invited to a fantastic all-nighter round at Party Peregrin's. However, he plays it safe and stays home.

[Replies From View]

Whenever he leaves his home, play-it-safe Paul wears his Kellogg's cockerel bicycle reflectors all over his body to make sure he is always visible to traffic.

He stays in when it is dark though.

[Gregory Torso]

Whenever he leaves his home, play-it-safe Paul wears his Kellogg's cockerel bicycle reflectors all over his body to make sure he is always visible to traffic.

He still hasn't realised that they are merely stale cornflakes, simply because he has never been out when it was raining.

[Replies From View]

To save on wear and tear of his oesophagus, play-it-safe Paul always tries to inhale his bedtime glass of water.

[Spoon of Ploff]

Play-it-safe Paul is a belts and braces.. and industrial glue and staplers man.

[Foggy Buntwhistle]

"How'd yer like yer tea luv?"

"Like grey milk water please."

[Glebe]

Bovver-bums Barney is having a bit of trouble brewing a Bovril... he warns Paul, he says, "Y'Bov might not taste that nice!"

"Think I'll skip it, Barns," he replies, playing-it-safe (as usual!).

[seepage]

Every Sunday evening, Paul formats his hard drive and reinstalls Windows. You can't be too careful, can you?

[dex]

Yet another "Are you sure?" Windows prompt. You know what? I'd better check 3 more times before I move this document to the recycling bin.

[Glebe]

Tired of playing-it-safe, Paul bungee jumps off Land's End.

[Soup]

double bags his knob