Author Topic: Play-it-safe Paul  (Read 1320 times)

FerriswheelBueller

  • Floaters gonna float.
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #90 on: November 04, 2018, 11:27:10 PM »
“Minds the gap” every single time.

Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #91 on: November 04, 2018, 11:39:19 PM »
Every Sunday evening, Paul formats his hard drive and reinstalls Windows. You can't be too careful, can you?

wonderful

New Jack

  • BANG! Lyrical blow to the jaw
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #92 on: November 09, 2018, 02:03:06 AM »
Paul wears a hard hat upon learning it's a bit windy out.

New Jack

  • BANG! Lyrical blow to the jaw
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #93 on: November 09, 2018, 02:04:20 AM »
Paul uses the withdrawal method when he has a wank.

Spoon of Ploff

  • visitors are welcome to Sheerness
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #94 on: November 09, 2018, 08:17:10 AM »
Paul accidentally clicks on a link to a sexy website. He catches a glimpse of a young lady in a state of undress. He quickly closes his browser. Then deletes the cache. Then formats his hard drive. Then opens up his laptop, removes the hard drive and turns it into Swiss cheese with a drill. Then takes a hammer to the laptop. Then burns his house down. Just to be sure. Just to be sure.

New Jack

  • BANG! Lyrical blow to the jaw
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #95 on: November 09, 2018, 11:12:19 AM »
Paul's booked another eyetest.

The optician protested, but he felt his eyelid twitch when he woke up. Eyes aren't the sort of thing you mess about with.

Delete Delete Delete

  • Cab TV Tue at 6pm https://live.fc2.com/6162694/
    • Cab TV
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #96 on: November 09, 2018, 11:15:27 AM »
Pauls driving his car, the limit on this road is 60mph. "Better be safe". He trundles along at 30mph.

Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #97 on: November 09, 2018, 11:26:45 AM »
Paul is going to tuck into some fish fingers. "Slurp! These fish fingers look tasty! " he thinks to himself. Then he thinks about the possible link between fish fingers and instant cancer, followed by all your limbs dropping off and your remaining torso exploding. After many, many hours of trawling through the most serious medical websites possible, he can find no discernible evidence of this whatsoever.

"best not though,eh?", he now thinks to himself, as the stone cold fish fingers are scraped into the pedal bin.

Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #98 on: November 09, 2018, 12:18:11 PM »
Paul has an operation to actually reinforce his phimosis.
You'd be bloody mental to walk around with an unprotected glans in this day and age! he thinks to himself.

Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #99 on: November 09, 2018, 01:06:48 PM »
Play-it-safe Paul enjoys the thrill of BASE jumping vicariously through a set of Lego figures, which he makes jump from tiny Lego models.

Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #100 on: November 09, 2018, 03:04:27 PM »
Paul says "good afternoon Mr Magpie" no matter how many he sees together.

Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #101 on: November 09, 2018, 03:12:41 PM »
In a rare and frenzied episode of thrill-seeking, Paul steps off a kerb. He dies on impact.

FerriswheelBueller

  • Floaters gonna float.
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #102 on: November 09, 2018, 03:33:26 PM »
Burns his toast. Doesn’t want to risk leaving it “pink in the middle”

Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #103 on: November 09, 2018, 04:03:03 PM »
Paul always insists on wearing his oxygen mask for the duration of long-haul flights.

seepage

  • throwing a dog at some goblins
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #104 on: November 09, 2018, 04:32:08 PM »
Every Friday evening, Paul empties the contents of his fridge into the bin and performs a factory reset. You can't be too careful, can you?

New Jack

  • BANG! Lyrical blow to the jaw
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #105 on: November 09, 2018, 08:26:35 PM »
Paul regrets getting crazy paving - avoiding the cracks is tumultuous!

Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #106 on: November 10, 2018, 03:06:19 PM »
Plays with 5 at the back on Fifa. Even non competitive friendlies.

Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #107 on: November 10, 2018, 03:23:34 PM »
Pants under jim-jams.

Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #108 on: November 10, 2018, 03:34:51 PM »
Paul owns 5 sets of slippers, one pair for each room and one for the hallways which have a grippier sole as the laminate can be a bit slippery. 

seepage

  • throwing a dog at some goblins
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #109 on: November 10, 2018, 03:41:14 PM »
Paul always gives cheese a good scrub under a running tap before consumption.

New Jack

  • BANG! Lyrical blow to the jaw
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #110 on: November 10, 2018, 03:51:11 PM »
Paul hates chess. But you always start by moving a white pawn one square.

Pingers

  • With the ill behaviour
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #111 on: November 10, 2018, 05:13:01 PM »
Tricky moment in front of the Jukebox for Paul. Phil Collins maybe, but he's a bit divisive isn't he? Bob Marley? No, Pam's a bit racist. Hang on, saved by the bell here Paul; Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty!

Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #112 on: November 10, 2018, 05:51:01 PM »
Takes the plunge and rents a digital versatile disc of Titanic from the library. Bang average he concludes contentedly.

Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #113 on: November 10, 2018, 06:41:47 PM »
It's the traditional New Year's Eve family poker game. For 20 years now they've called him Paul Oakenfold. He doesn't know why and never asks.

New Jack

  • BANG! Lyrical blow to the jaw
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #114 on: November 10, 2018, 07:21:11 PM »
Paul peruses all 132 menu items at the local Chinese. Authentic stuff, run by an Asian family, the smells are gorgeous.

'Portion of chips please'

Pingers

  • With the ill behaviour
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #115 on: November 10, 2018, 07:55:05 PM »
Paul nips out to the corner shop at the end of his road. Turns all the plug sockets in the house off before he leaves - it only takes a minute to start a fire.

Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #116 on: November 10, 2018, 09:33:06 PM »
"I'll take the £100 please."

".... A big hand for Paul everyone!"

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #117 on: November 10, 2018, 09:41:15 PM »
Paul has (another) wank.  Rather than using a tissue to wipe up and throw it in the bin afterwards, he uses toilet roll and flushes it and then thoroughly wipes around and under the seat, just to make sure he doesn't get his wife or daughter pregnant.

New Jack

  • BANG! Lyrical blow to the jaw
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #118 on: November 10, 2018, 11:51:56 PM »
Paul's phone drops to 97%

Important eight hour call might come in, you never know. Back on charge you go!

New Jack

  • BANG! Lyrical blow to the jaw
Re: Play-it-safe Paul
« Reply #119 on: November 10, 2018, 11:55:48 PM »
Every day Paul gets dressed in black and beige and white. He's heard about gang colours, why take the risk? Beige is best.