Colin CABber

[Lemming]

Colin CABber goes to Oscillations or Technology and clicks "New Thread". After writing a detailed and enthusiastic opening post, he simply deletes it and closes the browser.

[New Jack]

Colin reads a criticism of an entirely imaginary poster and worries it's about HIM!

Colin logs into his New Jack sockpuppet account and argues with himself

[The Boston Crab]

"Colin 'CaBber', you mean," Colin thinks to himself.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Colin begins the work on a parody thread,

What (jew)ish fiction are you reading at the moment

But fortunately his missus sees it over his shoulder and eventually talks him out of it. She agrees the pun is strong, but secretly holds the belief that it is not

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Colin wonders if he should mention that Ukrainian Tallulah Riley lookalike who is about 30 years younger than him who he professes to be in love with for the umpteenth time. "I'll make it part of a larger post, and put a line through it, that'll take the curse off things a bit. Everything's fine. Everything's going to be fine. " he reassures himself.After writing the post, he retires to his room to masturbate madly and sob fervently.