Kids TV characters not known for fights you would want on your side in a war

[madhair60]

Outside of character made for battle like Lion-O and He-Man who would you want on your side if somebody was ready to throw down?

I think the Family Ness would be a useful bit of muscle and Jimbo the jet plane could help launch aerial assaults/bombing runs. Ivor the Engine could get the prisoners to the death camps and that. What do you reckon?

[Malcy]

Pingu and his seal friend, Steve's Japanese friend from American Dad & Penny Crayon. She could draw all sorts of weapons to use

[Buelligan]

Teletubbies could be useful for decontamination or forensic work.  K9 would make a useful bombdog (though of course, (s)he's not a character from a children's TV programme).

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Barbapapa.

I reckon he's a hard cunt on the sly. And even if he isn't, he could just change into one, couldn't he ?

[gmoney]

Babar the Elephant would be able to provide much needed financial aid in the ongoing war. He could possibly help with diplomatic matters also, due to his nice green suit.

[Lord Mandrake]

Given the right encouragement I believe Pob would be willing to wear a suicide vest.

[Cuellar]

I get the impression that Arthur, from Hey Arthur (was it Hey Arthur, or am I thinking of Hey Arnold? Anyway the animal one) would be absolutely useless in a combat situation. An utter liability.

Who was his big mate with the broad face? I'd pick him.

And the digger from Bob the Builder (for the mass graves).

[Buelligan]

All the mice from Bagpuss running the MASH-type front line doctoring. 

[gmoney]

Who was his big mate with the broad face? I'd pick him.

Binky. Agreed, he'd hurt ya permanent.

[bgmnts]

Captain Sportacus or whateverthefuck from Lazy Town.

Just for running PT drills for my soldiers.

[Cuellar]

Babar the Elephant would be able to provide much needed financial aid in the ongoing war. He could possibly help with diplomatic matters also, due to his nice green suit.

Yeah good point about finance. Wars are also exercises in logistics and provisioning. You'd want a genius for organisation involved somewhere too, so I think it would be imperative to get the Fat Controller on board. If he could get all his trains shipping food/guns/prisoners for the cause the war is already half won.

[holyzombiejesus]

All the mice from Bagpuss running the MASH-type front line doctoring.

Professor Yaffle to perform medical experiments on the prisoners of war.

[Delete Delete Delete]

No No No you can't make Nazi Zombies from Breadcrumbs and Butterbeans.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Yeah good point about finance. Wars are also exercises in logistics and provisioning. You'd want a genius for organisation involved somewhere too, so I think it would be imperative to get the Fat Controller on board. If he could get all his trains shipping food/guns/prisoners for the cause the war is already half won.

He'd brick deserters up in a tunnel, though.

[Cuellar]

He'd brick deserters up in a tunnel, though.

Perfect.

I think it was heavily implied that Arnold's (of Hey Arnold fame) grandfather was part of an 'Inglorious Bastards'-style Jewish Nazi hunting unit, and as you never see him actually dismember a Nazi in the show I think it's fair game to ask for him to be on my team.

[Delete Delete Delete]

I'd get Green Claws to cook up some mad chemical wepons in that tree with the seeds and everything.

[Gregory Torso]

The Groke from Moomins. Everyone would get so depressed they'd kill themselves.

[Cuellar]

Bingo, from the Banana Splits, for GORILLA warfare.

[Lord Mandrake]

Chorlton & the Wheelies could be adapted into a highly mobile hit and run unit.

[gmoney]

Yeah good point about finance. Wars are also exercises in logistics and provisioning. You'd want a genius for organisation involved somewhere too, so I think it would be imperative to get the Fat Controller on board. If he could get all his trains shipping food/guns/prisoners for the cause the war is already half won.

I ruled out Scrooge McDuck because frankly he's a tight cunt.

[Crisps?]

Morph would be some useful semtex.

[Blumf]

I ruled out Scrooge McDuck because frankly he's a tight cunt.

Scrooge McDuck would be the fucker who, through shady back room deals, instigated the war in the first place, and is now selling weapons and supplies to both sides.

[Chollis]

Bernard's Watch could be used to devastating effect in the theatre of war.

Could also strap explosives to the Animals of Farthing Wood in a bomb dog-esque campaign of terror.

[gmoney]

Bert Raccoon might be useful as a gung-ho frontline soldier who you could use as fodder. He's drippy mate Cedric can fuck off though, I don't care what intel he has. That kind of sappiness eats away at the men's morale.

[kittens]

main character from queen's nose. steal magic coin, 'i wish we win the war', game over.

[biggytitbo]

Bungle could do a hell of a lot of damage if he's having one of his massive bennys.

[Norton Canes]

The Wombles. Shanked up.

[Lord Mandrake]

With Smurfs you can just grind down a superior fighting force with sheer numbers, like Stalingrad.

[greenman]

Nono from Ulysess 31 setting up a nuclear weapon behind enemy lines in a bumbling fashion.

[Icehaven]

Mr. Spoon from Button Moon, as despite being a wooden spoon he can survive repeated launches in a rocket made out of an old can and stay alive in space with no life support, so he must be virtually indestructible. He'd also be cheap and easily replaced, being a spoon.