How disgraceful is being fat?

[Shit Good Nose]

I think your issue, as you've indicated yourself, is that you haven't worked at relationships in the past.

In a mature relationship, I really doubt your weight will be much of a factor. After all, if you are with somebody for the long-haul, you'll watch them slide further and further away from conventional attractiveness just by virtue of ageing. (Not that I think getting older means getting less attractive - just that the conventions of attraction are thin, young, virile, etc).

Tookish mentions having two partners, but - I'm fat, and I've got two partners. They've been with me at a much heavier weight, and don't mind that I'm all fat again after a brief stint of being a healthy weight.

I know that wasn't in response to me, but it has made me want to expand on my comment RE Mrs Nose being morbidly obese - I still love her, of course I do, but her weight is having an effect on her health (she's ill lots, she snores VERY heavily when she never used to snore at all to the point where I regularly go and sleep in the other room, and she gets very out of breath after doing relatively little walking), and I worry it's going to rub off on Little Nose, who is already quite porky for an 8 year old and already bigger (width wise) than most of the other kids in her class.

I've tried on many occasions to reason with her, even trying to use Little Nose as an intervention of sorts, but it does nothing other than cause an argument and upset her.

(the irony of me choosing our chrimbo food from M&S in another tab is not lost on me)

[tookish]

I know that wasn't in response to me, but it has made me want to expand on my comment RE Mrs Nose being morbidly obese - I still love her, of course I do, but her weight is having an effect on her health (she's ill lots, she snores VERY heavily when she never used to snore at all to the point where I regularly go and sleep in the other room, and she gets very out of breath after doing relatively little walking), and I worry it's going to rub off on Little Nose, who is already quite porky for an 8 year old and already bigger (width wise) than most of the other kids in her class.

I've tried on many occasions to reason with her, even trying to use Little Nose as an intervention of sorts, but it does nothing other than cause an argument and upset her.

(the irony of me choosing our chrimbo food from M&S in another tab is not lost on me)

It wasn't aimed at you at all! But I do think your concerns are valid - being fat isn't necessarily a risk to health, but of course when it is it's worth having a conversation. We've all agreed that if weight affects our health then we'll support each other in getting to a point where it doesn't.

It's very hard to raise without upsetting someone and I feel for you xx

[Replies From View]

On the positive side, nobody is in a better place to eat fat people than other fat people.

[Shit Good Nose]

It wasn't aimed at you at all! But I do think your concerns are valid - being fat isn't necessarily a risk to health, but of course when it is it's worth having a conversation. We've all agreed that if weight affects our health then we'll support each other in getting to a point where it doesn't.

It's very hard to raise without upsetting someone and I feel for you xx

I've said many times before I'm sure the only way she's going to lose weight is to be scared or embarrassed into doing it, be it a health scare, or some requirement for surgery, or not being able to fit in a plane seat.  I've also said before that being scared into it is what got me to lose a load of weight nearly 10 years ago.  Although I've put some of it back on and am "overweight" on the official chart (with Bruno Brookes), I'm now a lot more aware of it and go to the gym regularly, so I'm fit and pretty healthy and won't ever go back to how big I was.  But Mrs Nose has done no exercise at all for about 10 years now, and generally has a very poor diet.  My diet is balanced more on the healthy side, I just tend to have bigger portions because I have a big appetite.  But she'll often have fast food or microwave burgers three or four times a week.

Anyway, sorry - I'm starting to throw this a little bit off piste.

[New Jack]

On the positive side, nobody is in a better place to eat fat people than other fat people.

Would they be all that good to eat? You know, in an emergency, like if you were on a RyanAir flight.

Would you kill the obese fella? Or would there be too much work? Or would you kill the annoying stringy thin pissed bloke just cause, and then consider eating his gristle?

Ah, sorry to be macabre. I always get like that when I think RyanAir

[Replies From View]

I think it would very much depend on my mood at the time.  In an emergency situation, such as being on a RyanAir flight, I'm sure my instincts would pull me in a direction that I can't yet predict.  For example I might eat the obese fella for dessert.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I've said many times before I'm sure the only way she's going to lose weight is to be scared or embarrassed into doing it, be it a health scare, or some requirement for surgery, or not being able to fit in a plane seat.  I've also said before that being scared into it is what got me to lose a load of weight nearly 10 years ago.  Although I've put some of it back on and am "overweight" on the official chart (with Bruno Brookes), I'm now a lot more aware of it and go to the gym regularly, so I'm fit and pretty healthy and won't ever go back to how big I was.  But Mrs Nose has done no exercise at all for about 10 years now, and generally has a very poor diet.  My diet is balanced more on the healthy side, I just tend to have bigger portions because I have a big appetite.  But she'll often have fast food or microwave burgers three or four times a week.

Anyway, sorry - I'm starting to throw this a little bit off piste.

As mentioned earlier I've diabetes and that's helped me lose weight, but it also means I can rarely eat food I actually like. Could it be worth mentioning that to her? That said I knew I'd probably end up getting in for a long time and it never stopped me...

[tookish]

I've said many times before I'm sure the only way she's going to lose weight is to be scared or embarrassed into doing it, be it a health scare, or some requirement for surgery, or not being able to fit in a plane seat.  I've also said before that being scared into it is what got me to lose a load of weight nearly 10 years ago.  Although I've put some of it back on and am "overweight" on the official chart (with Bruno Brookes), I'm now a lot more aware of it and go to the gym regularly, so I'm fit and pretty healthy and won't ever go back to how big I was.  But Mrs Nose has done no exercise at all for about 10 years now, and generally has a very poor diet.  My diet is balanced more on the healthy side, I just tend to have bigger portions because I have a big appetite.  But she'll often have fast food or microwave burgers three or four times a week.

Anyway, sorry - I'm starting to throw this a little bit off piste.

Do you think there's an emotional element to her eating? I ask because if so, it's difficult to let go of a crutch and it might account for why she gets so defensive.

[Paul Calf]

I'm fat and I'm married. I was less fat when I got married but I was still fat.

TBH, it certainly narrows your options and it's probably better not to be, but if it's to be, it's to be.

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it certainly narrows your options

Well that's a start.

[Shit Good Nose]

Do you think there's an emotional element to her eating? I ask because if so, it's difficult to let go of a crutch and it might account for why she gets so defensive.

It's a direct result of her mental health problems (she's been diagnosed as basically bipolar but without the extreme highs and will be on her particular cocktail of drugs [which I think are exacerbating the weight problem, but they're the only ones she tried that didn't make her feel constantly sick] for the rest of her life).  I'm not sure if her gp has said anything about her weight to her as I don't get much feedback after her checkups.

[thecuriousorange]

I'm not fat and this is not an achievement. I'm lazy and eat crap. Just lucky metabolism.

[Cuntbeaks]

Fat
Bald
Mental
Phimotic

[Better Midlands]

Fat
Bald
Mental
Phimotic

[tag]Ian Brown shudders at 2018 rewrite[/tag]

[Sin Agog]

if you ever wanted to see a muffin in its third semester, it's pretty gross.

I think you're cooking it too long.

(Thin young rake, by the way).

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I'm not fat and this is not an achievement. I'm lazy and eat crap. Just lucky metabolism.

How old are you?  Lucky metabolism should fuck off in your 30s.

[saltysnacks]

Just lucky metabolism.

Categoric nonsense, sorry. A body cannot break the laws of physics. You put out more calories than you consume, 'I eat crap' is hardly a falsifiable statement is it? You could eat 1 large pizza and a packet of crisps a day and not exceed 2000 calories. Come back when you've monitored your calories for 6 months.

I know I'm being a bit over the top here, but I hear this bullshit all the time. Thin people eat a little, fat people eat a lot, that is just how it works. The differences in metabolisms are the difference of a fraction of a percentage.

[Replies From View]

Okay, and when you hit your 30s without changing your diet you suddenly form into a hulking great fatso for no easily discernible reason.

We'll call it a mystery instead of metabolism.

[Shit Good Nose]

Categoric nonsense, sorry. A body cannot break the laws of physics. You put out more calories than you consume, 'I eat crap' is hardly a falsifiable statement is it? You could eat 1 large pizza and a packet of crisps a day and not exceed 2000 calories. Come back when you've monitored your calories for 6 months.

I know I'm being a bit over the top here, but I hear this bullshit all the time. Thin people eat a little, fat people eat a lot, that is just how it works. The differences in metabolisms are the difference of a fraction of a percentage.

I dunno, I used to work with a guy (I've talked about him a few times before in diet and fat threads - his name is Roy) who ate nothing but takeaways for lunch and dinner five days a week and had a cooked breakfast four times a week, a Toby carvery every Saturday and Sunday and went to the pub three lunchtimes and four nights a week drinking stouts and ales - he easily smashed down 3000+ calories a day, and he was (still is) rake thin.

I have no doubt that on the inside he's infinitely unhealthier than me as he eats shit and gets no exercise, but how do you account for that?

[saltysnacks]

I dunno, I used to work with a guy (I've talked about him a few times before in diet and fat threads - his name is Roy) who ate nothing but takeaways for lunch and dinner five days a week and had a cooked breakfast four times a week, a Toby carvery every Saturday and Sunday and went to the pub three lunchtimes and four nights a week drinking stouts and ales - he easily smashed down 3000+ calories a day, and he was (still is) rake thin.

I have no doubt that on the inside he's infinitely unhealthier than me as he eats shit and gets no exercise, but how do you account for that?

All I have to say is do you know for a fact he ate 10 takeaways a week. Sounds extremely unlikely, you also have to know if he ate every bite. Most people have no real perception of how much they eat.

[Shit Good Nose]

All I have to say is do you know for a fact he ate 10 takeaways a week. Sounds extremely unlikely, you also have to know if he ate every bite. Most people have no real perception of how much they eat.

Well I worked with him for 9 years, so I saw all of the lunchtime and after-work takeaways (he would alternate between KFC, Burger King, Schwartz Brothers, a couple of kebab places and a chippy), a lot of the cooked breakfasts and lunchtime drinking, and I know he lived (and still lives) a two minute walk from the same Toby, and people I still work with who still see him socially confirm he still lives his life the same way and still with no exercise.

I'm sure almost everyone knows or knows of at least one person like that who goes against the laws of physics.  I don't know if it's metabolism, but it is real and there must be an explanation.

[saltysnacks]

Fair enough, but I'm still sceptical,  you understand.
All the science on diet says that the fast metabolism allowing someone to eat whatever they want and stay thin is bollocks. He must be expending the calories or he must have digestive issues. If a person's metabolism was so fast to allow them to do that, it's a wonder they don't starve to death in 20 minutes.

[Shit Good Nose]

I can confirm he did no exercise then and no exercise now.

In fact he even used to drive to the Toby as there wasn't a safe place to cross the road on foot until they put a crossing in two or three yeats ago.

[Replies From View]

they put a crossing in two or three yeats ago.

I measure these in Joyces, myself.

[Shit Good Nose]

I measure these in Joyces, myself.

Just the one then.  Preface/glossary.

[chveik]

Thin people eat a little, fat people eat a lot, that is just how it works.

It's more complicated than that (there's the genetic factor)

[gib]

and not everyone has the same efficiency when it comes to digesting food, gut bacteria seem to play a part in it. I'd love to gain a bit of weight and i love the beer and chips every day although i don't eat much sugar at all. Maybe sugar is a big factor, anyway it's clearly not just calories in = weight

[MuteBanana]

I've just turned 30. Never had an adult relationship, primarily because I've never been one to give enough of a shit, knowing how little I bring to the table, but part of me is telling me to do better. I'm not obese, but if you ever wanted to see a muffin in its third semester, it's pretty gross. Is it possible to be a sexual being whilst yelling to an Elvis impsonator ?

Yes you fat fuck.

I can say that being fat myself. Its not so much being fat its having love handles and fat under my arms that annoys me. My man boobs go down from time to time and apart from my nipples I can get away with a t-shirt. I don't mind if people see I have a bit of belly.

My arse is another problem. I squat. Not enough but I try to as much as I can be bothered. I've always had a big arse even when I was a skinny 8-9 stone teenager. No idea where it comes from.

[gib]

would

[Johnny Yesno]

gut bacteria seem to play a part in it.

Yes, I've heard about research that suggests that your gut bacteria profile affects what food types you digest most readily, and that this means that a weight loss diet that works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else. I don't know how credible this research is, mind.