Loose cannon

[bgmnts]

Colonel Marsh: Listen MacLeary! I don't care how they used to do it in your old regiment, in this outfit we do it by the book!

Private MacLeary: But sir-

Colonel Marsh: No buts! We have ONE piece of artillery left, private. Injuns have been reported in this area and its my duty to hold this fort at all cost ya hear? The General'a right up my behind on this one.

Private MacLeary: Tarnation sir! It's been hangin' on its last hinges on the top of the battlements for weeks Colonel. If we're attacked, it won't last a minute!

Colonel Marsh: I don't wanna hear it MacLeary! Get out of my tent or you'll be cleaning the latrines!

The Injuns attack in the night.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

£2.99 Greggs

[Glebe]

Private Umpkins: Sir! I managed to pick up a new hinge in Lidl, €2.99, OR NO OFFER.

Col Marsh: Very good, Private. They do a lot of good bargains in Lidl, mind you.

[Lemming]

Col Marsh: MacLeary! What the hell are you doing?!

Pvt MacLeary: Ah gotta re-hinge the cannon, sir! It's too doggone loose!

Col Marsh: In this regiment, we have CHAIN OF COMMAND, Private! I can't have any loose cannons on this deck, except for the literal loose cannon I'm ordering you, the figurative loose cannon, not to repair! The General's bustin' my balls over this!

Pvt MacLeary: Sir, please-

Col Marsh: He's BUSTIN' my BALLS, MacLeary!

Pvt MacLeary: If I can just-

Col Marsh: BUSTIN' MY BALLS

[a duncandisorderly]

director: "where is bill? I gave strict instructions that mr conrad was not to leave the set."

first AD: "he's in a meeting with quinn martin about next season's scripts"

director: "so you know where he is?"

first AD: "yes, sir. he'll be back in ten minutes."

director: "good. nothing I hate more than not knowing where the star of this detective series is, when he's supposed to be on my set."