I'm A Celeb... 2018

[Utter Shit]

If he's clever he will save his unbroadcastable Lloyd's attacks for whenever he doesn't want to be filmed e.g. taking a shit or washing his cock and balls in the lake. I always had huge respect for the baldy Irishman in an early series of Big Brother who was desperate for a wank and, having already been filmed sneakily knocking one out under a blanket, realised that if he just did it completely brazenly in the shower, they wouldn't be able to show it on TV.

[mothman]

But wouldn't that a) reduce his chances to get his message out, b) open him up to allegations of failing to cooperate with the production, something which they must have clauses for in their contracts?

[Utter Shit]

Well I'd guess he can't really get the message out, as any of the relevant details he wants the public to hear would be liable get ITV in trouble? So maybe he's just there to recoup a bit of the money he lost - apparently he's getting £600k, the most on the show. That Hollyoaks actor is said to be getting the lowest at £15k - which sounds like a shit deal until you remember that it works out at probably £3k a week once you consider the build-up and the post-show stuff, and offers the chance of career-expanding exposure if you're not an arsehole.

I'd be interested to know what the rules are regarding 'performance' for want of a better word - for example I've always wondered why contestants who get picked for a task and don't like having to do them don't just act really bored and not bothered. Even the most basic of research of previous series makes it clear that the public are cunts and will latch onto anyone who gets stressed at having to do a task, voting them to do tasks every night until it stops being fun. My only guess is that they're told they have to give some sort of reaction.

Then again Emily Atack admitted she had deliberately not told the producers she hated snakes because she thought that would mean they'd give her snake tasks, so maybe they have more license to 'play the game' than I realise, and the producers take those games into account?

[The Lurker]

Any favourites to win early on? I'm thinking Anne or Rita so far, with Emily as an outside bet. Then again I don't know exactly how the betting usually goes - is it the most entertaining or the nicest that tends to win?

Last year, Oddschecker (I think it was them anyway) said one of the biggest factors for the odds of celebrities shortening and drifting was due to the growth of their followers on Twitter. As well as usual factors such as a high number of stakes on a certain candidate.

[The Lurker]

Good news on the Noel front:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/im-celebritys-noel-edmonds-spotted-13617125

Unless he's just decided to fly out to Australia for a holiday just to wind up the media.

[Ambient Sheep]

Thanks US and AS. I do think I recall seeing an item on the scam on Channel 4 News at some point, though I don't recall if it was Lloyds identified as doing it in that case.

Yes, I've got a vague bell ringing that they were neither the first nor worst offenders for this, wasn't it mainly RBS, allegedly?

I'm now terrified that I've got it all wrong.

[mothman]

Yes, I've got a vague bell ringing that they were neither the first nor worst offenders for this, wasn't it mainly RBS, allegedly?

I'm now terrified that I've got it all wrong.

No, after I posted I also thought it might have been RBS, too. I suspect Lloyds wouldn't be alone in doing it.

I think anybody who comes across as steadfast and reliable, gets on with people and doesn't get involved in pissing contests and bust-ups, takes tasks (BTTs and DDTs) and setbacks in good humour, and doesn't have any background reason for the public to not want them to win, then it's still possible anybody in there right now can win. Though this being ITV, it's not far off a safe bet to rule out anybody non-white or non-straight. Or, plenty of people out there who, say, would never vote for Harry to win because he once managed a team they loathe.

[confettiinmyhair]

Who's the other celebrity going in with Noel?

[mothman]

According to the Mirror article (yes, I know) linked above, there isn't, because they can't afford one what with how much they're paying Noel.

Also, according to Wikipedia (Yes, I know that too), it was HBOS ripped him off?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noel_Edmonds#Personal_life

[Utter Shit]

I've always thought a good criteria for a potential winner is someone who isn't necessarily already seen as a good egg (either because they aren't well-known, have never put their personality across or have a bad reputation) but comes across really well on the show.

In that respect I think Anne is almost the perfect candidate, in that people will associate her with whatever mean character she plays on the Chase, but see that she's a sweet, somewhat vulnerable woman who has a sense of humour and fronts up well to the tasks she has. Obviously this is only based on two episodes, she might completely shit the bed on her task tonight and scream abuse at her camp-mates when the hunger really starts to kick in.

TBH there isn't a single person that seems like an arsehole so far, which the production team may have anticipated as all the touted new housemates seem the type to be sent in to be disliked (Edmonds, various Love Island women, Nick Leeson). I suspected Knowles would be a twat but beyond his casual alpha-ness he seems sound. Sair and John are both irritating but clearly decent people, the rest of them are just varying levels of sound. Rita my favourite so far, with her Young Helen Lederer face.

[Chollis]

-Interviewing himself under the guise of an American presenter (which is very clearly Noel doing a bad accent, which he often gives up on completely, making the whole thing even more confusing), asking scripted questions which, inexplicably, Noel as himself is occasionally unable or unwilling to answer...even though they were his own questions.

it's meeee, on meeee
on noel, on noel,
on i, on i,
on edmonds, on edmonds

[JesusAndYourBush]

Who's the other celebrity going in with Noel?

I'm hoping for a Spice Girl... one of them isn't jojning the reunion due to "other commitments".

[mothman]

There is merit in what US says. Apart from a smattering of minor national treasures (and less so in recent years), by and large the winners have been somebody who, while obviously famous to some degree (usually relatively small, or only in a limited field), has never impinged on the public consciousness to any significant degree. On that basis, I'd suggest that James, Emily or Rita are the first rank, with Fleur, Malique and Sair in the second, and - the "minor natioinal treasure" pot - Harry, Nick, John and (theoretically) Noel in the third. I'm undecided on where Ann falls yet.

I don't quite understand where Noel Edmonds lies in the public consciousness these days. He's fronted many vastly popular TV shows over the past 40 years. But then you have the problems: the dead contestants, the oddball political and personal utterances. So I don't understand how he's ended up the highest-paid entrant of all time. Especially since - or because? - by going in late he's almost been set up to fail: only twice has a late entrant won, but of course one of them was the might Biggins...

I'm hoping for a Spice Girl... one of them isn't jojning the reunion due to "other commitments".

What, and take her eyes off David for two weeks? She'd never see him again!

[Rolf Lundgren]

This is always the best part of the show. I wish they could just leave them all together for a few weeks rather than vote them off one-by-one.

Holly's doing alright but I'm not sure alright really cuts it. Maybe I'm being generous to Dec but he's still great and having to do a lot of the legwork on this. On yesterday's show he pulled a brilliant look of disgust when they cut to Joel Dommett inviting him over to play a wacky game with them on the Extra show.

I don't quite understand where Noel Edmonds lies in the public consciousness these days. He's fronted many vastly popular TV shows over the past 40 years. But then you have the problems: the dead contestants, the oddball political and personal utterances. So I don't understand how he's ended up the highest-paid entrant of all time. Especially since - or because? - by going in late he's almost been set up to fail: only twice has a late entrant won, but of course one of them was the might Biggins...

I think he's arguably the most famous one in there. Give or take those wilderness years at the turn of the century, he's been on telly for over 40 years and is well known to most ages. It is a bit weird if he's the highest paid entrant since you wouldn't expect hordes of people to tune in because of him and I'll be staggered if he actually wins it as he's bound to wind some of them up but it is a very good choice of person to chuck in there.

[jobotic]

This has been on in our house so I've watched a bit. I'm surprised by how funny I find Holly and Dec. I thought she was a Tess Daly figure but she's pretty amusing.

Still don't like seeing petrified animals though.

[Rev+]

I think he's arguably the most famous one in there

He's not in there yet, but I think you're wrong about his star power.  For anyone under 30 he's someone who hosted a defunct game show on Channel 4, not some media titan.  You've got to be of a certain age to *get* him.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I don't think anyone truly 'gets' him.

[Bazooka]

They should do a challenge where Noel has to retrieve the bankers phone off of  Deal or No Deal from the anus of a salt water crocodile without it noticing.

[lipsink]

This is a YouTube comment under a video of Noel speaking with passion. It's quite something:

Did you notice that Edmonds' beard follows the fashion of fannies?  In the 1980s it looked like one of those untrimmed growlers that you got before porn/mens mags.  He trimmed it right back in the 90s and even experimented with the nearly nude, like the bolder ladies of the mid 00s went for.  Now that women are embracing their pubes again, Noel's beard has returned.  I always keep a track of Noel's beard so that I am not surprised if I pull some bird at my local nightclub when she gets her minge out.  Thanks Noel and keep up the good work!

[confettiinmyhair]

Is anyone else worried about Anne? She seems to be hating every damn moment of this.

[mothman]

I suspect she'll walk. Not had a flouncer for a few years...

[massive bereavement]

Is anyone else worried about Anne? She seems to be hating every damn moment of this.

It's the last thing you'd want to be involved in as an Aspie, if she has the sensory issues I have then I can't believe whoever is responsible for deciding if contestants are psychologically suitable has allowed her to go in there.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Though this being ITV, it's not far off a safe bet to rule out anybody non-white or non-straight.

That's not entirely fair. Prominent black spokesman and gay rights activist Christopher Biggins won it once.

[Deanjam]

Though this being ITV, it's not far off a safe bet to rule out anybody non-white or non-straight.

Thought this was harsh at first, but ...

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Dispiriting, isn't it? From that evidence we can surmise that ITV viewers really like bland white people and "lovable" Tories (Thatcher and Toff fulfilled that blinkered British desire to get on board with posh right-wingers if they're sort of funny).

D'Acampo and Biggins are outliers, but they probably qualify as an acceptably non-threatening foreigner and cuddly homosexual respectively. Also, Biggins is a massive Tory.

Blackburn and Moffatt were deserved winners, they're nice people. Tone is an utterly harmless buffoon, and Scarlett is a smart, endearing, funny person. Charlie Brooks seemed alright too. As for the rest, what a shower of nonentities.

[mothman]

Yeah, I did hesitate to make such a sweeping statement but by and large winners have been a bland homogenous lot. The runners up have been more diverse, however - when Dougie Poynter won, the runners-up were Martina Navratilova and George Takei!

[Sebastian Cobb]

ITV's target audience is basically entirely white, middle-aged, middle class women. They run 3 chat-shows back to back in the mornings.

[Lemming]

Watching Anne Hegerty try to get out of bed is one of the funniest things I've seen all week.

I know we're ludicrously Noel-focused in this thread, but when it was showing footage of everyone talking, doing impressions, chatting about quiz knowledge and having a good time, I couldn't help but imagine how much the imminent Lloyds rants are going to utterly destroy the group dynamic.

[Utter Shit]

Toff was a weird one - the show was my first experience of her and she seemed lovely, then her real life Tory shithousery gradually became public knowledge. It was quite difficult to tally up the sweet girl on the show with some of her views.

[finnquark]

ahahahahahahahahaha noel what a pleb