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Prostate Examination

Started by SteveDave, November 13, 2018, 01:07:06 PM

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SteveDave

I've got one on Thursday morning after the ultrasound on my balls came back with nothing. What should I wear? I've not got enough time to revise.

I've had a few of these, because of family history. Despite what they say about how it's just a normal medical procedure, there is a feeling of power imbalance as you lie with your knees hoiked up and they put a finger up your arse. Accordingly, I now show them that I'm not daunted by attending prostate exams wearing a Stetson.

SpiderChrist

Given my age I think I'm long overdue one of these. Not overly looking forward to it.

Alternative answer: normal clothes; they'll give you a gown to change into. Or if it's the GP it's just trousers and underwear down then go go go!

SteveDave

I might film it on Facebook Live for you all to see.

Alberon

Why do they never tell you about sphincter-expander? The noise that makes when they fire it up puts my teeth on edge.

Cuntbeaks

Just go full Goatse, make it easy for them.

Depressed Beyond Tables

Go with something you'd wear for a job interview. With a finger banger.

Wet Blanket

I've had the finger in the dam. And I swear the doctor sighed and shook his head when I bared my arse

Bazooka

I believe jeggings are the only suitable garment for such a probing.

Shit Good Nose

I've got to have one next year when I turn 40.  I say "got to", it's more of a pre-summons letter from my surgery (I don't have a specific GP assigned to me - I just see whoever is available on the day) that basically says "you're 40 next year so you'll probs get prostate cancer - best come in for some fisting action to check it.  Yours, St Chad's Surgery"

Not looking forward to it, although I have had a finger and steel probe up the bum before as I thought I had ass cancer, but it turned out to be an "anal fissure" (they've all got anal fissures by the time..., etc).

Sebastian Cobb

Wear one of those things with a buttoned flap over your arse.

New Jack

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on November 13, 2018, 03:37:34 PM
Wear one of those things with a buttoned flap over your arse.

Jeans on backwards mate

pancreas

Don't be selfish—think of the GP. Wear something sexy but classic like a nice evening dress.


New Jack

Quote from: pancreas on November 13, 2018, 04:07:09 PM
Don't be selfish—think of the GP. Wear something sexy but classic like a nice evening dress.

Bit of Lynx Africa sprayed back there. You're welcome, doc.

ZoyzaSorris

I really should have one of these but the thought of inflicting the eldritch catastrophe of my bare arse and anus - a long shot from They Shall Not Grow Old made flesh - on an already borderline-suicidal inner-city locum from Togo, gives me pause.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: ZoyzaSorris on November 13, 2018, 05:50:23 PM
I really should have one of these but the thought of inflicting the eldritch catastrophe of my bare arse and anus - a long shot from They Shall Not Grow Old made flesh - on an already borderline-suicidal inner-city locum from Togo, gives me pause.

Dr Avalanche will see you now.



Pee grape. Another old man condition.

Small Man Big Horse

I've had one as well, probably unsurprisingly. Was fine, briefly uncomfortable but nothing like the hell of the enema I was forced to have last year, especially as the cardboard tray they gave me to shit in was fucking tiny and I filled it within about five seconds. The elderly man trying to reassure me that it would all be over with soon from the bed opposite mine didn't help either, okay he couldn't see me but given the pain and horrendous anal explosion taking place I really didn't want a running commentary on events.

Mr Eggs

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on November 13, 2018, 11:27:17 PM
I've had one as well, probably unsurprisingly. Was fine, briefly uncomfortable but nothing like the hell of the enema I was forced to have last year, especially as the cardboard tray they gave me to shit in was fucking tiny and I filled it within about five seconds. The elderly man trying to reassure me that it would all be over with soon from the bed opposite mine didn't help either, okay he couldn't see me but given the pain and horrendous anal explosion taking place I really didn't want a running commentary on events.

You could have had such a niche channel on MyFreeCams.

Blue Jam

Quote from: sick as a pike on November 13, 2018, 01:16:01 PM
There is a feeling of power imbalance as you lie with your knees hoiked up and they put a finger up your arse.

Do you get those not-remotely-ergonomic metal stirrups, like us wimmin when we go in for wimmin's troubles? Whoever designed those things wants stabbing up whatever genitals they have.

Quote from: Alberon on November 13, 2018, 02:04:58 PM
Why do they never tell you about sphincter-expander? The noise that makes when they fire it up puts my teeth on edge.

Is that anything like a speculum? I did a Google search but I only found things that people seem to buy for pleasure rather than serious arse business.

Small Man Big Horse

Quote from: Mr Eggs on November 13, 2018, 11:44:52 PM
You could have had such a niche channel on MyFreeCams.

Buy me some enema kits and I could make your twisted dreams come true.

Paul Calf

[tag]King leaves prone position with test for arse probing (8,11)[/tag]

Mr Eggs

Quote from: Small Man Big Horse on November 14, 2018, 12:05:11 AM
Buy me some enema kits and I could make your twisted dreams come true.

Hose pipes and bin bags. I'm dressed as Bilbo Baggins but I've got a problem. You are Tom Bombadil.

I've got a bin wagon. pm me.

a duncandisorderly

I had an arse endoscopy last week. you go in your normal clothes & change into a gown & arse-fuck paper shorts. they sent me an enema kit prior, which I deployed on myself an hour before setting off- clears you right out.
three ladies did it. I had to lie on my side with my knees pulled up to my chest. they shoved this snakey camera in, a few inches at a time, with a really bright light on the end.
as well as the thing's actual video, there's some way- ultrasound or something- that they can see how much of it has gone in & where it's got to. I could see it going round all the bends like it was a dyno-rod appliance, & it fucking hurt when it made a turn. "that's what period cramps are like", they told me- apparently they practise on each other, so they know.
after a while, I could tune it out & just play with setting off the alarm on the pulse monitor (new personal best- 57bpm).
so they don't start taking pictures until they're hauling the snake back out.

anyway, nothing found.
"what are those things that look like bits of rock?" I said.
"poo-poo", says the nurse, then "faecal matter" when she realised I was older than her.

I'd be guessing, but I reckon about 45cm of this thing went up me. maybe a bit more.

im barry bethel

Only time to worry is when you feel both of the doctors hands on your shoulders during the examination

Quote from: Blue Jam on November 13, 2018, 11:51:44 PM
Do you get those not-remotely-ergonomic metal stirrups, like us wimmin when we go in for wimmin's troubles? Whoever designed those things wants stabbing up whatever genitals they have.

Bring both knees up to your chest and relax...so a friend told me

Sebastian Cobb

My uncle used to refer to the endoscope as a 'grandstand camera'.