What NOT to do in Dublin

[BlodwynPig]

I'm heading to Eire for the first time in mid-December, just for a day. Instead of the usual "recommend me something to lift me out of my permanent ennui" requests, I want to hear suggestions as what/where I should NOT do/see/go in Dublin.

[Brundle-Fly]

Start a mini-cab firm.

[Crabwalk]

I'm going to Dublin for the first time next weekend and would also like to know what not do do. Good timing blodders.

[Queneau]

Run around in a balaclava shouting, "Up the Ra!"

[BlodwynPig]

Reminder - also looking for not to see and not to go, too.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

I BAMLEM BREXIT

[AllisonSays]

Don't walk under the campanile or you'll fail your exams!!

[pancreas]

what a stupid thread.

I know: don't murder anyone with novichok. HAHAHAHHA

[SpiderChrist]

Don't try and score hash on O'Connell Street at 2 in the morning.

[duck]

The only piece of advice I was given (by a tour guide, no less) was not to go to Temple Bar. Contrary to what guide books will tell you, it's not a vibrant hub of Irish culture unless your idea of vibrant Irish culture is theme bars and wankers. It's overpriced, crowded, and just a general tourist trap. The locals tend to avoid it. Any of the pubs and restaurants near Grafton Street should probably serve you well.

Oh, and don't not go to the Light House Cinema. It's awesome.

[nedthemumbler]

Fly into it, then immediately get the train down to a tiny tiny village called Kilmore Quays on the far south east coast.  Near Wexford.
  Not even stopping for a pint or to buy a book in the buzzing capital, just holing up in a cottage, crabbing and occasionally amusing the locals with our stupid English ways. 
Oh and arguing, of course, at first about alcohol and then about everything.

This was 2008, and we were about half a century early, age and ambition wise.

At least my Dublin virginity is still intact, something to look forward to.

[Captain Z]

Run around in a balaclava shouting, "Up the Ra!"

Yes, they really hate the Egyptian sun god.

[Paul Calf]

Go there.

[QDRPHNC]

Yeah, Temple Bar is mad. It used to be fine, but it's been intentionally turned into an "Irish" American's wet dream.

Don't go to any museum without buying tickets in advance, you won't get in.

Go to Belfast instead.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Don't go to the Jameson museum which is a shit ripoff.

Don't talk about the reconquest of Ireland by a resurgent powerful Hard Brexit United Kingdom

Tenple Bar was manageable when I first visited in 2007 but it's very much inessential with so many superior pubs dotted around (Grogans, Dawson Lounge, Briodys, Mulligans, McNeills, Toners to name but a few).

[darby o chill]

Don't.
Visit Temple Bar.

Do!
Watch Christy Dignam inject heroin into his bollocks outside AbraKebabra.

[BlodwynPig]

what a stupid thread.

I know: don't murder anyone with novichok. HAHAHAHHA

Better than 90% of your failed threads, already.

[BlodwynPig]

Yeah, Temple Bar is mad. It used to be fine, but it's been intentionally turned into an "Irish" American's wet dream.

Don't go to any museum without buying tickets in advance, you won't get in.

Go to Belfast instead.

Been to Belfast. I'm being dragged to Dublin, but not complaining as it ticks off another country visited, with only Portugal and Iceland left, West of Bulgaria.

[pancreas]

Better than 90% of your failed threads, already.

90% of a small number is even smaller.

Anyway, my threads never fail, they simply become transfigured into the diamond dust of the internet, ready to begin their lives anew and eventually reforming into things of peerless digital beauty.

As for this piece of shit, the less said the better, as I'm sure you'll agree.

[BlodwynPig]

90% of a small number is even smaller.

Anyway, my threads never fail, they simply become transfigured into the diamond dust of the internet, ready to begin their lives anew and eventually reforming into things of peerless digital beauty.

As for this piece of shit, the less said the better, as I'm sure you'll agree.

90% of a massive load of elephant dung is still a massive load of elephant dung, as I'm sure you'll agree.

[Ferris]

-Visit the Guinness brewery

-Go to Temple Bar

-Admit to being English

- Split up with your girlfriend of the time then realize you have nowhere to stay because you only booked one room at the hostel, then get back together again for 2 nights to avoid sleeping rough beside the Liffey.

Hope this list of common pitfalls helps!

[Queneau]

Split up with your girlfriend of the time then realize you have nowhere to stay because you only booked one room at the hostel, then get back together again for 2 nights to avoid sleeping rough beside the Liffey.

Tell us more...

[Ferris]

Tell us more...

Oh it's never happened to me, but only because I'm aware of such basic errors. I just wanted to make Blodders knows them too - he gets into all sorts of scrapes you know!

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

Before you go, make sure you haven't recorded a call out video of you in a vest and trackie bottoms organising a bare knuckle fight with a pikey while you're there.

Here's an example to make sure you're aware of not what to do:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9dLgKK1Y6c

[shiftwork2]

Don't go to the gorgeous Library Bar for a hot whiskey and expect to immediately get a table next to the log fire.  In particular, don't do this after a few hours spent walking around town with your other half on a winter's afternoon.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

Before you go, make sure you haven't recorded a call out video of you in a vest and trackie bottoms organising a bare knuckle fight with a pikey while you're there.

Here's an example to make sure you're aware of not what to do:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9dLgKK1Y6c

That's a jazz standard mate. Check out any real book.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jLC3ru7p7M

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

That's a jazz standard mate. Check out any real book.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jLC3ru7p7M

I was going to post the jazz standard version but I feel that it makes a mockery of the very real and important message that is heading Junkie Joe Joyce's way to wit, that he is the "king of dug shite".

[BlodwynPig]

That's a jazz standard mate. Check out any real book.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jLC3ru7p7M

Wow!

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Fly into it, then immediately get the train down to a tiny tiny village called Kilmore Quays on the far south east coast.  Near Wexford..

Agreed. Kehoe's Pub, drink stout, scoff chowder with brown bread, look at maritime memorabilia on walls, marinate self in the atmosphere, thank god you're not in a could-be-anywhere-in-the-world, vertical drinking establishment in Temple Bar.

[buttgammon]

Don't bother with the Book of Kells; it's pretty, but it's expensive to get in and you'll be queuing for ages.