Cunts at work

[SpiderChrist]

There's loads of 'em, aren't there?

FUCKING LOADS MATE

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Oh no.  I'm sure all cunts are either seeking work, have an independent income, are retired or on incapacity benefit, and that no-one at work is a cunt.

[biggytitbo]

Do you work in a factory producing fleshlights?

[Cuellar]

I know these 'things that annoy you list' threads don't last long so I'm going to leap in while I have the chance:

People eating breakfast at their damn desk - chomping on cereal, guzzling pastries. Just eat breakfast at home for christ's sake what's wrong with you all.

[SpiderChrist]

Oh no.  I'm sure all cunts are either seeking work, have an independent income, are retired or on incapacity benefit, and that no-one at work is a cunt.

That is very reassuring and will inevitably lead me to a thorough examination of my own attitudes and behaviours.

[SpiderChrist]

I know these 'things that annoy you list' threads don't last long so I'm going to leap in while I have the chance:

People eating breakfast at their damn desk - chomping on cereal, guzzling pastries. Just eat breakfast at home for christ's sake what's wrong with you all.

It was more of a vent than a list, but

[Sebastian Cobb]

I know these 'things that annoy you list' threads don't last long so I'm going to leap in while I have the chance:

People eating breakfast at their damn desk - chomping on cereal, guzzling pastries. Just eat breakfast at home for christ's sake what's wrong with you all.

People being allowed a bit of basic flexibility in their working lives, how awful!

[amputeeporn]

I know these 'things that annoy you list' threads don't last long so I'm going to leap in while I have the chance:

People eating breakfast at their damn desk - chomping on cereal, guzzling pastries. Just eat breakfast at home for christ's sake what's wrong with you all.

God damn I (until very recently) worked with the worst offender for this. Ate her cereal and drank her coffee in a painfully OCD way every morning, each mannerism had to be the same every time, always ending in scraping the bowl quickly with her spoon which sounded like someone signifying they were about to make a speech at a wedding.

[New Jack]

5 extra minutes in bed is more important to me than not upsetting whingers like you. And it'd be really inefficient to go to work get a bacon roll from the canteen and go home again.

Did you really have to switch from bacon rolls to kippers though, mate?

[mothman]

I'd say that eating cereal at your desk is going too far, while defending the opportunity I have to take advantage of my employers' excellent canteen facilities to grab a bacon and egg bap on a Friday morning.

[Chollis]

Always eat breakfast at my desk. Eating on the company's dime my friend. As Sebastian rightly put, rather spend time in bed than eating at home.

[New Jack]

People eating breakfast at their damn desk - chomping on cereal, guzzling pastries. Just eat breakfast at home for christ's sake what's wrong with you all.

Homeless :(

[the]

AVE YER EVER NOTICED LAYSUNGENLMEN, AVE YER, AVE YER EVER NOTICED, WHEN YER STEERING INTO ANOTHER FOOKIN THREAD ABOUT BREAKFAST IN WORK, AND YER BRASS HAND GETS TRAPPED IN THE FOOKIN HYPERLINK AND ENDS UP IN CYBERSPACE

[Cuellar]

In the thread's defence, it wasn't really about breakfast in work originally.

I don't know how anyone can muster the energy to get to work without eating something beforehand. But it's not so much that they're eating, it's that they're making orrible noises all the time. Slurping chomping clatter clatter of spoon on bowl. I fucking hate hearing people eat at the best of times so to couple it with sitting down for another day of spreadsheets is pretty much torture.

[Cuellar]

People being allowed a bit of basic flexibility in their working lives, how awful!

FUCK THAT

[SpiderChrist]

AVE YER EVER NOTICED LAYSUNGENLMEN, AVE YER, AVE YER EVER NOTICED, WHEN YER STEERING INTO ANOTHER FOOKIN THREAD ABOUT BREAKFAST IN WORK, AND YER BRASS HAND GETS TRAPPED IN THE FOOKIN HYPERLINK AND ENDS UP IN CYBERSPACE

AVE YER EVER NOTICED LAYSUNGENLMEN, AVE YER, AVE YER EVER NOTICED, WHEN YER JUS MEK ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT A THREAD WITHOUT READING THE CUNT FIRST? AVE YER? AVE YER? AVE YER EVER DONE THAT?

[momatt]

If you seriously get upset about people eating cereal, you should try working in an office full of braying posh fuckwits doing 'sales'.  Laughing their arses off about haircuts and what they had for lunch.

They're so loud and cuntish, one of my colleagues genuinely listens to the sound of jet engines on headphones to drown them out.
If they all died I would laugh.

• Falling into a grain silo
• Getting stabbed by a falling icicle from a tall building
• Getting run over by a speeding train
• Having their heads crushed in a freak golf accident
• Getting poisoned by slug juice
• Falling into a paper shredder somehow
• Roasted alive by a huge magnifying glass

I would accept all of these options, or anything else really.  As long as they're dead, and quiet.

[the]

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DON'T HEAR MUCH OF THESE DAYS - KELLOGG'S START! THEY SHOULD'VE FOOKIN CALLED IT KELLOGG'S STOP!

[New Jack]

In the thread's defence, it wasn't really about breakfast in work originally.

I don't know how anyone can muster the energy to get to work without eating something beforehand.

Maybe they just really love work

I mean, I wouldn't fire up a J in work, it would be a waste of good Moroccan hash. I save it for situations I can really savour and enjoy

I can see saving your daily full English for the office, by a similar token. To some, that must be the ultimate luxury!

[Phoenix Lazarus]

I'd say that eating cereal at your desk is going too far

Yeah, use a bowl and spoon like everyone else.

[New Jack]

There's loads of 'em, aren't there?

FUCKING LOADS MATE

What do you expect when you run the East End's cheapest, largest brothel?

And that's just the customers!!

[BlodwynPig]

There's loads of 'em, aren't there?

FUCKING LOADS MATE

*Self-employed, works from home*

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I'm going out for a drink with the massively attractive receptionist who always flirts with me tonight. Sadly, I can't think of any young actresses she looks like. This is more of a " wanting to get in the cunt of someone from work " post, I do suppose.

[Sebastian Cobb]

In the thread's defence, it wasn't really about breakfast in work originally.

I don't know how anyone can muster the energy to get to work without eating something beforehand.

Stomach's still asleep when I first wake up. It needs a coffee and a half hour to get going.

[SpiderChrist]

*Self-employed, works from home*

Shit, I been busted. Pinned. Sussed.

[thenoise]

I'm going out for a drink with the massively attractive receptionist who always flirts with me tonight. Sadly, I can't think of any young actresses she looks like. This is more of a " wanting to get in the cunt of someone from work " post, I do suppose.

I hope the whole office doesn't turn up. Surprise! She has invited everyone she flirts with for a drink I.e. The whole office.

[Icehaven]

But it's not so much that they're eating, it's that they're making orrible noises all the time. Slurping chomping clatter clatter of spoon on bowl. I fucking hate hearing people eat at the best of times so to couple it with sitting down for another day of spreadsheets is pretty much torture.

If you seriously get upset about people eating cereal, you should try working in an office full of braying posh fuckwits doing 'sales'.  Laughing their arses off about haircuts and what they had for lunch.

They're so loud and cuntish, one of my colleagues genuinely listens to the sound of jet engines on headphones to drown them out.

Hmm, seems to me the obvious solution is for you two to swap jobs, as Cuellar's workplace is so quiet that someone eating cereal can be heard across the room, where Momatt's is so loud it'd be drowned out.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I hope the whole office doesn't turn up. Surprise! She has invited everyone she flirts with for a drink I.e. The whole office.

How dare you, Sir! I have every intention of telling this girl how I feel about her tonight ( that I wouldn't mind giving her one, and does she mind wearing this home- made Jodie Comer mask while we go about It ).

[thenoise]

Hehe, you old romantic you! Good luck ;)

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

If you seriously get upset about people eating cereal, you should try working in an office full of braying posh fuckwits doing 'sales'.  Laughing their arses off about haircuts and what they had for lunch.

They're so loud and cuntish, one of my colleagues genuinely listens to the sound of jet engines on headphones to drown them out.
If they all died I would laugh.

• Falling into a grain silo
• Getting stabbed by a falling icicle from a tall building
• Getting run over by a speeding train
• Having their heads crushed in a freak golf accident
• Getting poisoned by slug juice
• Falling into a paper shredder somehow
• Roasted alive by a huge magnifying glass

I would accept all of these options, or anything else really.  As long as they're dead, and quiet.

I laughed