How is your eyesight?

[Beagle 2]

Shite. I look a cunt in specs as well, sadly I've had to wear them for the last 15 years. Tried contacts recently. Fantastic when they're on but turns out I can't be arsed to poke myself in the eye twice a day.

[Beagle 2]

Optician is the most erotically charged of all the awkward one-on-one health or beauty professional encounters. They get right up in your face and overcompensate with lashings of perfume or aftershave. It just seems like the natural next step is snogging. One of these days it's going to happen for me. The best way to initiate it would be to hide a sexy phrase in the letter chart like "A J I K A R S E L U B E L H U" or put a picture of some boobs/willies in the autorefractor.

[buttgammon]

Optician is the most erotically charged of all the awkward one-on-one health or beauty professional encounters. They get right up in your face and overcompensate with lashings of perfume or aftershave. It just seems like the natural next step is snogging. One of these days it's going to happen for me. The best way to initiate it would be to hide a sexy phrase in the letter chart like "A J I K A R S E L U B E L H U" or put a picture of some boobs/willies in the autorefractor.

I used to have a gorgeous optician who wore one of those loose headscarves (not sure of the name) and used to touch it in a way that seemed vaguely suggestive while she was adjusting the lenses. Going there was always a surreal experience.

Dentist is another one of those professions, although it's somewhat negated by the fact that having dental work done is about an unerotic as it gets. I also used to have a very attractive dentist, but my current dentist is a bloke, and not a nice-looking one at that.

[New Jack]

Optician is the most erotically charged of all the awkward one-on-one health or beauty professional encounters. They get right up in your face and overcompensate with lashings of perfume or aftershave. It just seems like the natural next step is snogging. One of these days it's going to happen for me. The best way to initiate it would be to hide a sexy phrase in the letter chart like "A J I K A R S E L U B E L H U" or put a picture of some boobs/willies in the autorefractor.

Mine is a blonde Norn Irish lass. Think she's starting to suspect something is up as I booked an eye test, then booked my father in and came with, and then a contact lens check all within a month.

Uh oh. My eyelid twitched, better schedule an appointment! Where's my Issey Miyake...?

[holyzombiejesus]

Someone on here said that they were in the dark room with the optician and when they'd finished, she leaned over him seductively and said 'we can do whatever you want now'. That's the best thing since a female doctor wanted to fiddle with examine my twig and berries and then rang me up the next day to double check that I didn't want her to.

[Replies From View]

My eyesight is the worst of everyone's in the whole of CaB.

/thread

[Better Midlands]

Optician is the most erotically charged of all the awkward one-on-one health or beauty professional encounters.

If I do this is it better or worse?

[im barry bethel]

If you can't read this number then really you should be put down

[mothman]

It's a sailboat!

[Golden E. Pump]

I don't know if I've ever called in with insomnia. It's the side effects like the stress-induced headache that usually cause me to call in.

[Cold Meat Platter]

About ten past two.

[BlodwynPig]

About ten past two.

Five thirty (eye hurty)

[Rocket Surgery]

Living proof that masturbating doesn't harm yer eyesight, over here. It's definitely faded a bit as I drift towards 40yo, but still pretty decent. More than one optician has said "bloody hell, even I can't read that!"

I think I must have had a genetic advantage in the hearing lottery as well, considering the abuse I've subjected my ears to. There's definite deterioration, but by rights I ought to be lip-reading by now.

Makes you sick, don't it?

[Cold Meat Platter]

I don't know if I've ever called in with insomnia. It's the side effects like the stress-induced headache that usually cause me to call in.

Gloriously apt incorrect thread (if not on purpose).

[Huxleys Babkins]

Annoying. I need a new pair of specs but the big thick frames that everyone wears since David Tennant and Colin Firth made them cool look genuinely stupid on me. My face is the wrong shape, I think. I look like Michael Paine from Harry Enfield & Chums.

Also, my optician's surname is Kenobi, which I'm not sure isn't a wind up. Half expecting Beadle to jump out every time I look at my prescription.

[Ronalado]

RONALADO SEE FIRST. Even referee or fan on HYPERVIDEO cannot see when aggressor shoe touch RONALADO. Stay and firght is too much risc. IS not possible.

[Jockice]

Mine's like a 12-year-old girl's. A certain 12-year-old girl of my acquaintance that is. We can wear each other's specs. Unlike her I have had to recently get reading ones though. Although I don't often wear them. I just take my normal specs off and read things that way.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Annoying. I need a new pair of specs but the big thick frames that everyone wears since David Tennant and Colin Firth made them cool look genuinely stupid on me. My face is the wrong shape, I think. I look like Michael Paine from Harry Enfield & Chums.

Also, my optician's surname is Kenobi, which I'm not sure isn't a wind up. Half expecting Beadle to jump out every time I look at my prescription.

Looks like people are moving onto 80's gold/silver rims with massive lenses now.

[Pranet]

These days the only time my eyesight feels entirely right is when I am staring at a computer screen which is a bit worrying.

[tookish]

When people try my glasses on they always say 'Bloody hell, you're blind!' and so on. So, pretty shit. I wear varifocals now.

[Replies From View]

When people try my glasses on they always say 'Bloody hell, you're blind!' and so on. So, pretty shit. I wear varifocals now.

I hate anybody wanting a "go" on my glasses.  They're not a fucking ride and yes they give you a disoriented feeling - you don't need to do a shit staggering-around mime to illustrate that you are blinded.  Fuck's sake.  I hope your good eyesight somehow becomes sentient and chokes you, to be honest.

Not directed at you there, tookish.  I'm quoting you to agree with you, not shouting at you.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Haha yeah but can I have a go though on the ride

WwOooohhhh

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I used to have a gorgeous optician who wore one of those loose headscarves (not sure of the name

Bonce Getonners

[Colin Sanction]

I hate anybody wanting a "go" on my glasses.  They're not a fucking ride and yes they give you a disoriented feeling - you don't need to do a shit staggering-around mime to illustrate that you are blinded.  Fuck's sake.  I hope your good eyesight somehow becomes sentient and chokes you, to be honest.

Not directed at you there, tookish.  I'm quoting you to agree with you, not shouting at you.

Do these people say "give us a go" to people in wheelchairs?

[Jockice]

Do these people say "give us a go" to people in wheelchairs?

Er yes. They do. Really.

I've tried my showbiz mate Jarvis's specs on you know. He's VERY short-sighted.

[yesitsme]

I'm not even reading this thread because I know I'm the winner.

Retinitis Pigmentosa.
Macular degeneration,
Cataracts.

I'm actually registered blind - never really understand that phrase.  Seems a bit odd, that you're not until some twat in a white coat says you are but there you go.

Do I get down about it?  Do you ever hear me grumble?

No, just get out of the fucking way.

[mothman]

I wonder if those nobheads in America who insist on carrying actual assault rifles around at all times (because it's their constitutional right to) keep getting asked by annoying people if they can "have a go" on their Armalite clone.

[tookish]

I hate anybody wanting a "go" on my glasses.  They're not a fucking ride and yes they give you a disoriented feeling - you don't need to do a shit staggering-around mime to illustrate that you are blinded.  Fuck's sake.  I hope your good eyesight somehow becomes sentient and chokes you, to be honest.

Not directed at you there, tookish.  I'm quoting you to agree with you, not shouting at you.

Agreed. I don't mind people trying them to see how the frames look, but I could do without the blindness pantomime.

[Nowhere Man]

How is my eyesight?

Fucking shitehawk mate.