Author Topic: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings  (Read 2309 times)

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #30 on: November 28, 2018, 09:02:30 PM »
I saw Jo Brand watching Ash at T In The Park 2004

Did she tell to eff off and call you a fucking goon?


If not then not a celebrity slighting I'm afraid...

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #31 on: November 28, 2018, 09:27:04 PM »
Is it * really* worth my repeating the time when Julie Christie gave a snort of laughter and told me to fuck off, albeit in a jocular way, shortly after buying me a drink ?

Yes, as my memory's appalling and I can't remember it.

I annoyed Simon Callow at a book signing for the first volume of his Orson Welles biography, he asked me what I wanted written in it and I uttered "Um, I don't know, something funny?" and he angrily responded "I can't just be funny at the drop of a hat".

I also annoyed Elijah Wood at a screening of Cooties where he was doing a Q&A, I asked "As you happily murder children in Cooties, is there anything you wouldn't do in a movie?" and with disdain he said "Well apart from the obvious, no". No idea what the obvious was either (paedophilia is my only guess) but it was clear he was unimpressed with the question.

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #32 on: November 28, 2018, 10:41:40 PM »

I also annoyed Elijah Wood at a screening of Cooties where he was doing a Q&A, I asked "As you happily murder children in Cooties, is there anything you wouldn't do in a movie?" and with disdain he said "Well apart from the obvious, no". No idea what the obvious was either (paedophilia is my only guess) but it was clear he was unimpressed with the question.

More like Elijah Wouldn't...ammiright?

mothman

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Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #33 on: November 28, 2018, 10:51:58 PM »
My wife got a selfie with George Clark at an event he was hosting tonight, and he’s plainly incredibly taller than her. I’m hoping he might have mentioned it, so I can contribute properly to this thread after I crashed and burned in the “unlikeliest sightings” one.

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #34 on: November 29, 2018, 08:28:16 AM »
Being for the benefit of SMBH:

Me and my mate were in a top dinghy bar in Bratislava, Slovakia, having a rousing game of lookalike spotting, getting a grand total of one point each for every lookalike we spotted. Only the week before, I had accrued a well-earned point by spotting a magnificent Jasper Carrot lookalike on the tram.
Upon spotting a woman who looked uncannily like Julie Christie , I did state "There's Julie Christie" (meaning 'someone what looks like her"), and a point was duly awarded, so it was. A little later, this woman approached me, and in beguilingly posh tones made of me the enquiry " Fancy a shag? I know I'm no Jodie Comer, like. Which is quite a good thing, really, as I believe that Jodie Comer has only just been born at this time "excuse, me, do you speak English?" To which I replied "well, I'm from St. Helens, so sort of.", at which point she invited me to sit down and have a chat with her. During the course of the conversation I pointed out that she looked like Julie Christie, to which she reponded with "That's because I *am* Julie Christie, you big eejit. We're over here filming "Dragonheart", innit? " (Paraphrasing there, a bit). Well, that was a bit of a surprise. A little later, she offered to get the drinks in, so we sauntered up to the bar together. By now, I was quite emboldened by the ease with which me and ol' Christers had been chatting away with each other (also, I'd had one or two tinctures of fine Slovak pivo), so felt it perfectly reasonable to ask of her "So, did you really do it with Donald Sutherland in that scene, missus?" That's when the snort of laughter and the "fuck off " ensued.
I wouldn't mind, but a friend of mine had fucked Peter Postlethwaite the night before.
*and* to add further insult to injury, my mate took my point away, cos yer woman was actually J. Christie, and not the lookalike thereof.

Also: Steve Hanley, former bassist with The Fall, saying "St. Helens?" to me, and striding off in utter disgust (this didnae happen on the same night ).

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #35 on: November 29, 2018, 11:06:20 AM »
Ha, that's a fantastic story, thanks for that. Reminded me of the time my sister saw Pete Postlethwaite in a London pub (I sadly wasn't present) and stumbled over to him horribly drunk and rambled on about how he was a famous bloke but she didn't know his name but she really loved him. He took it in good spirits and they had a brief chat before she wandered off, probably to go and throw up in the toilets.

Was he a good shag btw? I'd like to think so, he's got that look about him.

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #36 on: November 29, 2018, 11:42:10 AM »
Thematically linked to the Julie Christie story, though not actually involving a slighting, but you can all fuck off or sue me.

For years I've been going to a friend's Christmas drinks party. It became a running joke that The Man Who Looks Like Ian McEwan would be there.  Have you seen him yet? TMWLLIM?
I even happened to know where Ian McEwan lives, roughly. A few houses along from the Christmas drinks place.
Why then did it take me literally years to process that TMWLLIM actually is Ian McEwan?

Maybe this year I'll engineer some awkwardness, to retroactively justify this post being in this thread. I bet he wouldn't like it if I crouched down behind him, then someone pushed him over.

kngen

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Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #37 on: November 29, 2018, 12:59:05 PM »
Will Self bellowed a disdainful, stentorian 'Thaaaaank Yooouuuu!' to me when I drunkenly told him I loved his work on the way to the buffet car on a train from London to Edinburgh. He and his fellow first-class passengers had just been forced into steerage because the power had gone in their carriages, and this was probably the kind of interaction he was dreading the most. Still makes me laugh though. Well worth it.

Also on that train, Issy Suttie and Josie Long sharing a bottle of wine in the vestibule of my carriage - it was the start of the Fringe, so all the London nobheads were making their way north to clutter up Scotia's midden seat.

Brundle-Fly

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Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #38 on: November 29, 2018, 01:26:12 PM »
I won't pass this off as my celebrity slighting. A friend worked at the Albery theatre in the West End and one afternoon whilst he was restocking the circle bar, Gareth Hunt came in and asked if he could have a quick cup of coffee before a rehearsal. My mate said, "Certainly, but I'm afraid it's not Maxwell House" and then did the little beans in hand wanking gesture from the advert.

Gambit Hunt witheringly replied, "If you're going to be a cheeky cunt, at least get the brand right."

A reminder
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYLjF52q_Qs

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #39 on: November 29, 2018, 01:34:46 PM »
Top reply from yer man Hunt , there. I'm proud of him.

Jockice

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Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #40 on: November 29, 2018, 02:00:46 PM »
My friend saw Simon Amstell walking down the street and turned to me and said 'Fucking hell it's Simon Cowell'

I don't know if Simon Amstell heard him though so this may not be a slighting.


There's no doubt at all I've mentioned this one on here before, but here goes...

In the late 80s I was at a Spear Of Destiny gig with a friend. I had to go to the toilet during the set, and on my way there saw The Cult's singer at the bar. So on my return I excitedly told Jane: ''Guess who I've just seen? Ian Ogilvy."

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #41 on: November 29, 2018, 02:12:16 PM »

There's no doubt at all I've mentioned this one on here before, but here goes...

In the late 80s I was at a Spear Of Destiny gig with a friend. I had to go to the toilet during the set, and on my way there saw The Cult's singer at the bar. So on my return I excitedly told Jane: ''Guess who I've just seen? Ian Ogilvy."
That's okay, I've mentioned mine on here before as well.

Jockice

  • I really have red hair. And a **********.
Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #42 on: November 29, 2018, 02:18:08 PM »
That's okay, I've mentioned mine on here before as well.

There are only a limited number of anecdotes involving me I'm afraid.

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #43 on: November 29, 2018, 02:30:37 PM »
I was on the way home from the vets with my then g/f's cat in its basket, when I decided to pop into a chinese restaurant, get some nose-bag. in the sitting-down bit was stan boardman & an sizeable pissed-up entourage. he sees the cat basket & says "hey, la- is that y'r doggy bag?"
the unfunny twat.

so, sorry about that.

mothman

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Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #44 on: November 29, 2018, 11:43:11 PM »
This Boardman cove - never heard of him - is he a known racist? If not, can we use the above anecdote to retrospectively destroy his career with an allegation dredged-up from his past, like the wingnuts did to James Gunn?

Norton Canes

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Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #45 on: December 04, 2018, 10:08:24 AM »
That time Miki from Lush took out an injunction

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #46 on: December 04, 2018, 11:33:40 AM »
simon callow spilled my pint once, on the roof of the playhouse in liverpool.

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #47 on: December 04, 2018, 01:54:06 PM »
My dad refused to take a cheque off Barry Gibb. He ran a jeweller's shop in Amersham and Bazzer came in one day looking for a present (this is the early eighties, so he was in full 'Heebeegeebees' mode). He chose a ring (I would imagine around £200-300) and wrote out a cheque but didn't have a cheque guarantee card, so my dad refused to accept it.

Bazzer didn't come back...

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #48 on: December 04, 2018, 02:43:12 PM »
Did she tell to eff off and call you a fucking goon?


If not then not a celebrity slighting I'm afraid...

I'm sorry I got the wrong thread

Mr Banlon

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Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #49 on: December 04, 2018, 02:49:02 PM »
My dad refused to take a cheque off Barry Gibb. He ran a jeweller's shop in Amersham and Bazzer came in one day looking for a present (this is the early eighties, so he was in full 'Heebeegeebees' mode). He chose a ring (I would imagine around £200-300) and wrote out a cheque but didn't have a cheque guarantee card, so my dad refused to accept it.

Bazzer didn't come back...
Not the jewellers in Sycamore Road next to Marcel's ?

neveragain

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Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #50 on: December 04, 2018, 03:49:12 PM »
Doing extra work (as in Supporting Artist stuff for TV), I once ended up having lunch with Sarah Lancashire. The only free seat on the canteen-bus was next to me but still some actors would demand extras leave for them to have space, so it was pleasant of her to mingle.
Anyway, after the hellos, her opening gambit was, "Isn't Newcastle dreadful?"
I murmured non-commitally. Asked where she'd been, as it does have its nice parts.
"Oh, just here," she replied.
We were in the middle of bloody Durham.

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #51 on: December 04, 2018, 06:01:53 PM »
Doing extra work (as in Supporting Artist stuff for TV), I once ended up having lunch with Sarah Lancashire. The only free seat on the canteen-bus was next to me but still some actors would demand extras leave for them to have space, so it was pleasant of her to mingle.
Anyway, after the hellos, her opening gambit was, "Isn't Newcastle dreadful?"
I murmured non-commitally. Asked where she'd been, as it does have its nice parts.
"Oh, just here," she replied.
We were in the middle of bloody Durham.

typical.

Cuellar

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Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #52 on: December 04, 2018, 06:51:42 PM »
I slighted Steve Pemberton once, by anonymously sending the word 'twatflaps' to his phone via bluetooth.

DJ Bob Hoskins

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Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #53 on: December 04, 2018, 10:50:48 PM »
I shouted "You're crap!" at Morrissey out the window of my Mam's car as we drove past him in Dublin in about 1995*. I was but a young teenager at the time and only really knew him as that famous miserable man whose dreary songs like "The Boy Racer" were on MTV a bit too much for my liking. He really irritated me, so I thought I'd take him down a peg or two. I think you'll all agree that I achieved my goal.

About 7 years later I got really into The Smiths. Their music, and Morrissey's lyrics spoke to me in a profound way, and I love them still. Every time I thought of my unwarranted drive-by Morrissey-abusing, I wanted to cringe myself inside out. I felt genuinely bad. This was the burden I had to carry for my reckless and vulgar critique.

In recent years however, Morrissey has confirmed that the rumours were true all along and he's definitely a full-on right-wing racist bastard. So now I'm absolutely fine with what I did, and in many ways could be considered ahead of my time.

I think there's a lesson there for all of us.

*Not unlikely as such, as he was living there at the time (unbeknownst to young me).

Oliver Mardy

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Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #54 on: December 04, 2018, 11:33:04 PM »
In 2012 I was walking across a village green in a lovely part of Sussex. Minding my own, and with no wish to take on anyone else's.

"Oy oy, Slushpuppy," I heard shouted, not necessarily at me, but certainly brought in my direction by the current cooling breeze. I stopped, removed the Iphone earbuds from their hiding holes, and looked up. Then around. About 20 feet behind me - red of face, sweaty of forehead, and hooligish of clothing - was Danny Dyer. Striding towards me as though for a fight, or the kind of deep embrace two men might engage in at the funeral of a mutual friend.

"Oy oy, 'old up Puppy," he said in a voice of regular volume - no need to shout any more, as he was now within punching/hugging distance. Then, "Oh, shit, you're 'avin' a kestrel. I'm so sorry, Chief, I thought you was me mate what I'm meetin' 'ere for some slops." He laughed. Then coughed, as smokers will tend to do when their lungs are asked to provide more than a wisp of air.

"Dear oh dear, what a fuckin' Doon I am." He had seen that I was not his friend, Slushpuppy, and was clearly feeling somewhat embarrassed at having called out to me. I muttered as I turned away, something like "That's alright, simple mistake, Specsavers, haha". I replaced the iPhone earbuds and continued walking, though I feel sure that as I left Danny Dyer said to me, "Cunt, no need for attitude, shouldn'a been walkin' round lookin' so much like Slushpuppy, should you, you cunt".

That's all I have. It's not the most interesting story. But one thing I've wondered is this: just before meeting Danny Dyer, I had been scrouting around in my cleft with a couple of fingers on my right hand. I mean, really getting in there, deep. The smell was pretty bad when I pulled them out, I reckon I got at least one tip up into the hole. Anyway, when Danny Dyer possibly called me a cunt behind my back, I turned around to let him know I'd heard him. Quick as a flash he covered up any annoyance on his face and stuck his hand out for a matey shake. I gave him one. A few days later I read in a newspaper, perhaps The Sun, that Danny Dyer had missed an awards ceremony, citing food poisoning. The newspaper seemed to infer that he had been drinking, rather than squitting, but I did and still think that perhaps he had caught the traps from my dirty fingers touching his soft, clean hand during that shake.

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #55 on: December 05, 2018, 01:20:37 AM »
I was on the way home from the vets with my then g/f's cat in its basket, when I decided to pop into a chinese restaurant, get some nose-bag. in the sitting-down bit was stan boardman & an sizeable pissed-up entourage. he sees the cat basket & says "hey, la- is that y'r doggy bag?"
the unfunny twat.

so, sorry about that.

I saw Stan Boardman having a curry with Denis Taylor in the curry house on City Road. I'd been to see Squarepusher in Liverpool and was stoned off me 'ead. I was waiting for take-out so just stared at them. They were ripping the piss out of Neil Fould's (who was not present) golfing ability.

Michael Portillo had dinner with his Mam in Taormina Sicilly. He was quite handsome but had a big arse. A proper too-fruity-booty.

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #56 on: December 05, 2018, 07:38:11 AM »
Not the jewellers in Sycamore Road next to Marcel's ?

Old Amersham, on the High Street, just up from the Market Hall. Apparently it's Bonnam's Estate Agents these days. Don't think it's been a jewellers since the mid-eighties.

Mr Banlon

  • Rustoleum with a fat cap
Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #57 on: December 05, 2018, 10:06:18 AM »
Oh, 'Old Amersham'. I saw Rula Lenska and Dennis Waterman walking about down there in the late-80s. It wasn't an 'unlikely sighting' though, as plenty of those kind of celebs lived in South Bucks (Paul Daniels, Cilla, Bill Oddie).
I used to see Rick Parfitt in Denham all the time.

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #58 on: December 05, 2018, 10:11:02 AM »
I almost got ran over by derek hatton when I lived in wavertree village. his jag (yep...) had the plate DEG 5 Y.

Re: Your unlikeliest celebrity slightings
« Reply #59 on: December 05, 2018, 10:17:03 AM »
Oh yeah my sister nearly knocked folky fiddler Seth Lakeman off his bike on a roundabout. He looked cross. Fair enough really.