Author Topic: Look at this fucking massive cow  (Read 2313 times)

Phil_A

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Look at this fucking massive cow
« on: November 28, 2018, 06:49:36 PM »
Fucking look at it. How can this even exist?





A massive Australian cow named Knickers has been spared the slaughterhouse and the dinner table thanks to its sheer size.

The behemoth bovine hails from a farm in the town of Myalup in Western Australia and was recently saved from the barbecue because of its size, standing nearly two metres tall and weighing more than a car.

“He was too big to go into the export plant’s chain,” Geoff Pearson, the steer’s owner, told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC). “We have a high turnover of cattle, and he was lucky enough to stay behind.”

According to Pearson, the animal stands 194 centimetres tall and weighs about 1,400 kilograms, double the weight of an average Holstein Friesian and about a 50 centimetres taller.

“It was too heavy. I wouldn’t be able to put it through a processing facility,” Pearson told Perth Now. “So I think it will just live happily ever after.”



Captain Z

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2018, 06:55:06 PM »
Inside is an army of vegans who were waiting to be taken into the slaughterhouse before bursting out and attacking the place from the inside.

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2018, 06:56:40 PM »
IT'S NOT MASSIVE; IT'S FAR AWAY.


Oh.

biggytitbo

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2018, 06:59:34 PM »
David Dimbleby will be shitting himself.

Uncle TechTip

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2018, 07:12:00 PM »
Well, after looking at the huge cow I'm now stuck for what to do.

Pingers

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2018, 07:13:33 PM »
All media outlets should have to refer to it as the "fucking massive cow" by law.

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2018, 07:14:47 PM »
Well, after looking at the huge cow I'm now stuck for what to do.

I just hope there are more of them yet to happen.

Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2018, 07:16:10 PM »
Beefmeister General

biggytitbo

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #8 on: November 28, 2018, 07:16:45 PM »
If there's one thing you can say about this cow it's that it's fucking massive.

Pingers

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #9 on: November 28, 2018, 07:24:34 PM »
If cows obey the same laws of stereotype as humans then the fucking massive cow should be kind, none too bright and somewhat clumsy. I can only hope that this is the case, or the universe is broken and I can't cope.

Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #10 on: November 28, 2018, 07:27:41 PM »
Miles Hunt reported as saying: "see, now THAT is what I was talking about."

canadagoose

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #11 on: November 28, 2018, 07:28:57 PM »
I thought someone had posted a picture of me for a minute!!!

No, but seriously, that is a big cow. Very moving.

Kelvin

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #12 on: November 28, 2018, 07:32:34 PM »
When will Ace Ventura fall out of it's arse?

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #13 on: November 28, 2018, 07:34:13 PM »
If cows obey the same laws of stereotype as humans then the fucking massive cow should be kind, none too bright and somewhat clumsy. I can only hope that this is the case, or the universe is broken and I can't cope.

I hope it is called Derke.

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #14 on: November 28, 2018, 07:35:24 PM »
And I hope it is able to fuck all the lady cows to make more massive cows.  More massive cows needed.

Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #15 on: November 28, 2018, 07:36:34 PM »
If cows obey the same laws of stereotype as humans then the fucking massive cow should be kind, none too bright and somewhat clumsy. I can only hope that this is the case, or the universe is broken and I can't cope.

Yeah it's a Lencoe.

biggytitbo

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #16 on: November 28, 2018, 07:37:11 PM »
The other cows are apparently really small cows, but the big cow is still a big cow, just a small one.

Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #17 on: November 28, 2018, 07:37:46 PM »
it’s just a normalcow, the small ones are it’s babys

Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #18 on: November 28, 2018, 07:40:15 PM »
The smaller brown ones are actually orbiting it.

Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #19 on: November 28, 2018, 07:46:09 PM »
The other cows are apparently really small cows, but the big cow is still a big cow, just a small one.

No they're just far away.

Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #20 on: November 28, 2018, 07:46:17 PM »
COWE GONNA BE VERY LARGE CHOPPS

Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #21 on: November 28, 2018, 07:50:08 PM »
I thought this was going to be a thread about hucows. Thank God it wasn't!

biggytitbo

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #22 on: November 28, 2018, 07:51:13 PM »
How big is a cow anyway?

Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #23 on: November 28, 2018, 07:55:37 PM »
It’s actually a bullock.  They can grow to a larger size because its bollocks are cut off at a young age, so its hormones ain’t quite right.  This one’s off the scale though - The Robert Wadlow of the bovine world.

Spoon of Ploff

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #24 on: November 28, 2018, 07:56:17 PM »


cyriak's follow up to 'cows&cows&cows' a confusing disappointment agree YouTube viewers



Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #25 on: November 28, 2018, 07:56:35 PM »
It's " Udder"ly massive !!!!!!!!!!

Mr_Simnock

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Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #26 on: November 28, 2018, 07:57:57 PM »
[tag]Gemma Collins leaves thread relieved[/tag]

Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #27 on: November 28, 2018, 07:59:07 PM »

Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #28 on: November 28, 2018, 08:31:57 PM »
It’s actually a bullock.  They can grow to a larger size because its bollocks are cut off at a young age, so its hormones ain’t quite right.  This one’s off the scale though - The Robert Wadlow of the bovine world.

Wait so 'bullock' doesn't just mean 'man cow'?

Christ I'm 32 and I don't know the basics. It was only 4 years ago I found out goats weren't just male sheep.

Re: Look at this fucking massive cow
« Reply #29 on: November 28, 2018, 08:33:14 PM »
[tag]Gemma Collins leaves thread relieved[/tag]

:s/Gemma Colllins/yer maw/gj