Posh people's punchlines

[pancreas]

... and then we realised we'd left the nanny in Dorset!

... so we said: 'If you want to eat something decent, there's always a Burger King down the road!'

... but we pointed out that it's difficult to keep a yacht afloat with a single tube of Pritt-stick!

[Chollis]

...and it was all fun and games until Felicia queefed in the pantry!

[BlodwynPig]

...to kill one impoverished being is unfortunate, but to kill two is just good manners!

[Spoon of Ploff]

ones other chauffeur is an Austrian.

[Neville Chamberlain]

...and we all went wife-swapping in Rutland!

...dressage? Un-dressage, more like! What, what!

[Gregory Torso]

... and Kitty's confirmation gown was just covered in the help's semen!

[Gregory Torso]

... Well the difference is that one is a "bigger noise"... and the others are "ni-"... I say Alexander, would you mind sending the nanny out of the room?

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Fucking Tag / Lennie Bennet's  corpse enters thread wearing top hat and monocle / Fucking Tag

[Sebastian Cobb]

And then we released the hounds!

[Queneau]

To answer the question of which hand I wipe with, why, the butler's, of course.

[Rizla]

28, one was!

[Sebastian Cobb]

Of course they've all got orf my land by the time I've finished with 'em.

[Bhazor]

... a RENTER!

[Pingers]

"... hadn't seen that much meat stuffed up the same bird since the Young Farmers Ball!"

[Vodka Margarine]

....your glans isn't red raw after a long game of croquet, is it!

[DrGreggles]

...a swan.

[pancreas]

... so we ended up drinking the non vintage Dom Perignon and had the '85 in the beurre blanc!

[Gregory Torso]

...and I said "Darling, guffaw - just GUFFAW - if you haven't had a small Puerto rican gardener go through it with a strimmer!"

[Gregory Torso]

... so we skinned the little bugger and hung him up over the Aga as a warning to the others.

[Gregory Torso]

... it's a swastika, Douglas.

[Glebe]

"...and then the swan turns around and goes, "missed me!"' - Alexander Armstrong.

[pancreas]

... but she sank to the bottom of the duck pond. So we thought she probably wasn't a witch after all and we dried her off and let her back into the pantry.

[Howj Begg]

Well we were very much in favour of "Brexit", as they call it, because as Jacob says, it's important for Britain to be sovereign, and it's not right that people can just waltz into the country and put their feet up at our expense, is it. But then we realised that our cottage and vineyard in the Dordogne might be at risk, and of course poor Manuela might have to go home, so then we thought, better vote lib dem and sort this mess out! Isn't that funny, darling! Voting lib dem, dear me, the Johnsons at no 48 would crucify us ha ha ha. Well, maybe not, they are Jewish after all. Gosh maybe they'd have to go home too.

[thecuriousorange]

It's a ruddy good joke isn't it? I read it on CookdandBombd. I've been a member since...

[Glebe]

"...then the barrister turned round and quipped, 'more wine, gentlemen?'"

"Oh Tarquin, I can't take you anywhere!"

[Cuellar]

... but she's actually the Lord Lieutenant of Rutland.

[DrGreggles]

...another swan.

[Bhazor]

...needless to say both of them were killed. I will miss Mummsy but with Gout you can't Fuck About.

[flotemysost]

...whipper-in? I'd certainly like to whip her in, eh, gentlemen!

https://www.foxhuntinglife.com/foxhunting-horse-a-hound/our-hunting-world/1022-whipper-in-whats-in-the-name