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Strange nicknames that stuck

Started by The Lurker, November 30, 2018, 04:45:04 PM

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The Lurker

I've mentioned this lad on here before as he was one hell of a character. It would've been in year 8 when he once pronounced England as Shringleland. Quite why, I have no idea but the lad was an idiot and would get wound up when people mentioned his mispronunciation so he earned the nickname: Shringle. We lost touch after sixth form but even in the upper sixth, he would still get referred to by this nickname.

I also worked with a bloke who was dubbed Tweety (and a few other choice words behind his back) just because he would spend pretty much all his time on Twitter. That said, I've just checked his account and he hasn't tweeted in over a year. Classic Tweety.

Brian Freeze

You be just made me remember Jimmy the Jew.

He was a Plymouth Brethren. Obviously.

Eleven-year-old Mark Davies was given the nickname Space Mong (later abbreviated to Spacey) soon after we all started at the big school. When I asked Blakey why, he giggled and ran off calling, "Because he lays eggs", over his shoulder. I still don't understand.

DrGreggles

Maggot

He was called Maggot by everyone before I knew him, but no one seemed to know why.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: DrGreggles on November 30, 2018, 06:17:59 PM
Maggot

He was called Maggot by everyone before I knew him, but no one seemed to know why.

Really small penis ?

Pingers

My mate Dave has umpteen nicknames, he just seems to attract them:

Dave Dance Dave
Fat Angel Dave
Uncle Gruncle
Decent Dave
Mr. Anaesthetics

Those are the ones I can remember, there were at least five more.

Plus a friend who was so filthy she was known as Flaps

Gulftastic

I worked with a Geordie bloke, and his voice undulated in pitch as he spoke. He was known as Dog Whistle, as it was said that only they could hear his upper register.


Jockice

A guy I've known since our teens even though we went to different schools (we used to do paper rounds for different shops on the same road) has always been known as Bimbo by our mutual friends. I go for a drink with him about three or four times a year but it's only about five years ago that I enquired about his nickname.

It turns out that it was originally the nickname of someone else in his class who didn't like it so insisted it got passed on to Steve. And it stuck, so that almost 40 years later he is still called it.

Incidentally at one point I knew two lads both nicknamed Stubby for different reasons. I think they vaguely knew each other as well. I could tell the difference though. One was a really nice kid, the other was an utter cunt.


Small Man Big Horse

Had a sort of friend at school who first introduced himself by saying "My name's Alex but please call me Tez", I've always thought someone coming up with their own nickname was a bit rubbish but went along with it. Then a couple of years later another friend bought him a Mr Tickle t-shirt as a birthday present which he oddly loved and wore all the time, without being aware it was because people called him Tez-tickle when he wasn't around. Ended up cheating on his wife and bullying his kid for not being masculine enough, so now I thankfully don't talk to him any more.

Sin Agog

Still slightly peeved at my brother for renaming a nice quiet friend of ours 'Yoni' because he already had a mate called Nathan.  It stuck so well that even some of his family call him Yoni now.  My brother renamed him that shortly after coming back from Finland and India.  I recently found out that Yoni means pussy in both countries. Legend Gary.

Doomy Dwyer

There was a lad in the year above me (who I nearly murdered in a bicycle related incident I've spoken of previously on here. I also nearly murdered his younger brother in a separate incident by punching him very hard in the stomach by accident. If you can punch someone very hard in the stomach by accident. You can't really, can you? Anyway, the kid pulled through and no charges were forthcoming so let's just drop it, all right. Water under the bridge) who was known, universally, as Phantom. We, the kids, called him Phantom. The teachers called him Phantom. His old mum and dad, they called him Phantom. Everybody. But he wasn't a wispy spectre or apparition. He was tangible boy of flesh, blood and bone, unable to pass through walls or play havoc with the crockery unseen. It was one of those nicknames that was so ingrained that you didn't think it odd. He was Phantom, that was that. His real name was fucking Ian, so Phantom was a definite step up in nomenclature terms. It was only after knowing him for a long time that I even thought to ask why he went by Phantom. And the answer took me by surprise, to be honest. It turns out that once, in the school changing rooms, someone took a photo of Phantom and a few of his classmates getting out of the showers for a joke, completely al fresco, as it were. That's odd enough for starters. But on getting the photograph developed (for this was the old days, pre-mobile phone, paying for shit with your watch, writing bullshit on the fucking internet times) there was no sign of Ian's wang in the picture. Ian was there, but the cock was not. So the legend of his ghostly penis began and from that sprung Phantom. He told me this story without a hint of shame or embarrassment. It wasn't that they were mocking his penis, you see, more that they were celebrating the fact that his genitals were haunted. He took it as a tribute. Which was exceedingly magnanimous of him under the circumstances.

How did they get the photo developed? Could have been an instamatic, I suppose. But it wasn't that kind of school. Fuck knows.       

Flatulent Fox

Del funk - A sly cnut who we once hoisted by his schoolbag a good 20ft over the stage one lunch break.(at school like).
Les Sheepshagger -He just came from Aberdeen but always looked a bit sleazy.Name was Alister.
Moon man - liked his ecstasy pills.A lot.
Sad Sack - This guy little looked like sadsack from the raggydolls cartoon.And a miserable cnut.
Wonderworm aka Worm - Asian girls go mad for him.One made him a jumper once which was impressive.

MidnightShambler

There was a fella who drank in one of the roughest pubs in Birkenhead (which is saying something) who went home one night and his neighbour in the next flat had gone out and left his Rottweiler in, barking like fuck. This wasn't the first time it had happened apparently and he was pissed off. So he kicked the door down and made an example out of the poor thing. And left it on the balcony of the tenement to greet his neighbours return. Forever known as Dave The Dog Hanger after that.

And a lad at my mates school was known as 'Glug Glug'. Because his mum drowned in the bath.
Kids are fucking horrible, aren't they?

hummingofevil

One kid at school had the following nicknames.

Rob
Bob
Trebor
Teepot
Fishlips

Never could work out the last one. Just calling someone "teeth" always amused me (in same context you would address someone as "mouth") but with added brutality that they had big teeth and the concept of mouth was redundant. Aiso a phrase in Jamaican patois I found out later in life.

Also had a kid who was simply known as "Half-Bag-Of-Chips" and addressed as that by literally everyone as that was what he had to by the older boys every lunch time as part of his 2 year long being-bullied period. Fucking horrible.



hummingofevil

My sister has reminded me that there was a kid in her year called "Phil One-Ear" but the joke was on her peers as he actually had one and a half. I also went to a school that specialised in provision for students who were deaf so that gave a fair few cringy nicknames thinking back.

How the fuck do any of you cunts reproduce when you know how fucking horrific children are?

Jockice

Kids are twats. I discovered a few years ago from a girl who was in my year at school that my best mate at the time was known by her friends as The s*****c From Outer Space. Not sure why. He was a bit lanky and had a thin body/round face combination but he wasn't a bad looking lad. I didn't even dare ask what they called me...

Tombola

Had a friend called BJ, and another known only as Him.

flotemysost

Kid at school nicknamed Clarky Cat, seemingly just for having the surname Clark. As we would have been about 7 when that episode of Brass Eye was first on TV (I think the nickname took hold a couple of years later) I'd be pretty surprised if any of my classmates had actually seen it, so I'm guessing it was from an older sibling or something.

Jockice

Talking of nicknames sticking, I'm ever so proud to have been there the very first time Mr Birkett, a science teacher at my school, was referred to as Lionel Blair because of the width of his trousers. Apparently he was called that by several generations of kids for the rest of his career. My only regret is that it wasn't actually me who said it. Michael ******* come on down.

Holmesy

There was a lad in school who was called pimple. He wasn't named such because he had acne but rather his Mum used a walking stick that made her look like a pimp.

Dex Sawash

When I was an upholsterererer in a furniture factory in 1983, the lead upholsterererer called me "richard" as a diminutive of Rick Springfield. Was given due to me being white and semi-mulletted like famous white and  semi-mulletted entertainer Rick Springfield. Fair enough.


MidnightShambler

Another school one.
We had a maths teacher called Mr Cull, so naturally he was nicknamed 'Testy'. Then he was caught drink driving and lost his license, after that he was known as 'Bicy'.

flotemysost

Quote from: Holmesy on December 01, 2018, 05:39:21 PM
There was a lad in school who was called pimple. He wasn't named such because he had acne but rather his Mum used a walking stick that made her look like a pimp.

I love the logic behind this one.

Guy who went by 'Mossy' due to being born in a Morris Minor en route to the hospital.

alan nagsworth

My nickname is Nags (and, over the years, Nagsworth, Naggy, Naggo, Neegs) because when I was 17 I bought a hockey jersey with the player name "Nagy" on the back. I used to wear it all the time and the name has stuck ever since. So that's fifteen years, and I mean literally all of my friends. My family, my girlfriend and her friends/family know me as Callum but to everyone else I am Nags. It's bizarre but it's a huge part of who I am now. I've never not introduced myself to new friends as Nags, and there've been times when I've almost done it to clients at work.

Jockice

Quote from: alan nagsworth on December 02, 2018, 12:00:22 PM
My nickname is Nags (and, over the years, Nagsworth, Naggy, Naggo, Neegs) because when I was 17 I bought a hockey jersey with the player name "Nagy" on the back. I used to wear it all the time and the name has stuck ever since. So that's fifteen years, and I mean literally all of my friends. My family, my girlfriend and her friends/family know me as Callum but to everyone else I am Nags. It's bizarre but it's a huge part of who I am now. I've never not introduced myself to new friends as Nags, and there've been times when I've almost done it to clients at work.

The lass who cuts my hair is nicknamed Nags. In this case it's a diminutive of her (Asian) first name. I usually call her by her full name though. She's lovely but I'm a client not a friend.

MiddleRabbit

A kid at my junior school who had a slightly protruding forehead was consequently called Anvilhead which, for a couple of months, vied with Scotty - as the kid in question was a scotch - as potential nicknames.

The matter was put to bed by Mrs Williamson in English when she told us about 'The clang of an anvil'.  Richard Nutt stood up and pointed at Scotty/Anvilhead (he was always standing up, pointing and making pronouncements, was Nutty) and repeated, with emphasis on 'clang' and 'anvil', "The clang of an anvil".

From then on, there was no mention of Anvilhead or Scotty because his name was Clanger.

i later caught Clanger telling a girl at secondary school hat kids called him Clanger because he could play a tune on a bicycle pump, like the knitted grey television characters.  I put her straight, naturally.

MiddleRabbit

The oddest, or least odd perhaps, was the 'nickname' of Stewart Watts, also present when Clanger became.  We called him Stewatts, thinking we were clever.

Maybe we weren't geniuses but in comparison to Stewatts' mother, we might have been because, one day in French, when we had to say, 'Je m'appelle .... J'ai .... ans.", following a brief altercation with Mrs Williamson about whether he was onze or douze, Stewatts' name disappeared from our register as he was moved - the very next day - to secondary school because his mother couldn't remember what year he'd been born.

I disowned the bastard, naturally.