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Stan Boardman

Started by Mark Steels Stockbroker, December 01, 2018, 04:00:21 PM

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Mark Steels Stockbroker

Recently performed An Audience With Stan Boardman at one of Runcorn's top theatres. Time for a proper reassessment of the artist and his legacy.


a duncandisorderly

Quote from: a duncandisorderly on November 29, 2018, 02:30:37 PM
I was on the way home from the vets with my then g/f's cat in its basket, when I decided to pop into a chinese restaurant, get some nose-bag. in the sitting-down bit was stan boardman & an sizeable pissed-up entourage. he sees the cat basket & says "hey, la- is that y'r doggy bag?"
the unfunny twat.

so, sorry about that.

Bennett Brauer

... but these Messerschmitts were Heinkels!

Remember John Bishop's 'Who Do You Think You Are?' when they told him Boardman was his father?

Shit Good Nose

Something something nazi chip shop.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain


Glebe


Bennett Brauer


Gradual Decline


petril


Chriddof

This is yet another person who I could have sworn was reported dead by absolutely every news site (British ones, at least). When will these Mandela effects end?

studpuppet

Quote from: Shit Good Nose on December 01, 2018, 05:08:57 PM
Something something nazi chip shop.

Yeah, but the thing is, they DID bomb his chippy, and his street (and killed his brother and his babysitter in the process), so the Germans get off fairly lightly from Stan, considering what he went through.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH6PSUgMrJ4

remedial_gash

Is Lee Boardman narrator of police camera action and similar proggies his kid? Could google but where would the fun be in that, both similar voices and stuff.

Bennett Brauer

Quote from: remedial_gash on December 02, 2018, 12:04:39 AM
Is Lee Boardman narrator of police camera action and similar proggies his kid? Could google but where would the fun be in that, both similar voices and stuff.

No.

Susanna Reid is Mike Reid's daughter though.

remedial_gash

Quote from: Bennett Brauer on December 02, 2018, 12:16:31 AM
No.

Susanna Reid is Mike Reid's daughter though.

I think you are a liar! Going to google Lee now just to spite you.

Edit: bugger it was road wars and no sadly not related, I'll give you that.

buzby

Quote from: studpuppet on December 01, 2018, 10:52:36 PM
Yeah, but the thing is, they DID bomb his chippy, and his street (and killed his brother and his babysitter in the process), so the Germans get off fairly lightly from Stan, considering what he went through.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH6PSUgMrJ4
Aye, my dad lived further down Great Homer Street and told us about the Morley Street air raid shelter being bombed. It happened on the same night (3/4 May) as the Holy Cross school was hit by a parachute mine, killing 125 people sheltering in the basement. Another parachute mine destroyed all the tenements on the opposite side of the street to where my dad lived, and the maternity unit at Mill Road Hospital was hit, killing 85 mothers, babies and staff, including Leonard Rossiter's father John, who was an ARP ambulance driver.

In the week long 1941 May Blitz raids 1741 people were killed in Liverpool and Bootle, and 1154 were injured. 4400 houses were destroyed and 61900 were damaged, leaving 75000 people homeless. Reporting of the scale of the deaths and damage was suppressed by the War Ministry so as to not effect morale.

Mark Steels Stockbroker

Sadly, Stan's act wasn't also suppressed to support national morale.

Absorb the anus burn


Rolf Lundgren

Does anyone remember Kings of Comedy? It was an E4 show around the early 2000's where a bunch of comedians all lived together in a Big Brother style house and did gigs each night with the unfunniest comedian being sent home. Fascinating show but can't find any episodes of it online. Andrew Maxwell was in it as was Boothby Graffoe and a few others I can't remember.

There was supposed to be a mix of old and young comedians but I only remember Stan Boardman and possibly Mick Miller but could be wrong. Stan was his usual charming self, pissing off everyone within the first 24 hours and when he'd run out of material decided to do Malcolm Hardee's balloon dance. I have a vague recollection that he may have done it two nights running but my memory's been clouded by the thought of a stark bollock naked Boardman.

Action Fish

Quote from: Rolf Lundgren on December 02, 2018, 10:32:28 PM
Does anyone remember Kings of Comedy? It was an E4 show around the early 2000's where a bunch of comedians all lived together in a Big Brother style house and did gigs each night with the unfunniest comedian being sent home. Fascinating show but can't find any episodes of it online. Andrew Maxwell was in it as was Boothby Graffoe and a few others I can't remember.

There was supposed to be a mix of old and young comedians but I only remember Stan Boardman and possibly Mick Miller but could be wrong. Stan was his usual charming self, pissing off everyone within the first 24 hours and when he'd run out of material decided to do Malcolm Hardee's balloon dance. I have a vague recollection that he may have done it two nights running but my memory's been clouded by the thought of a stark bollock naked Boardman.

The only other contestant I remember was Ava Vidal. There was an episode where each comedian had to perform another's material, and Boardman did Vidal's and made a really bad fist of it. I remember being disappointed it always showed too much of the house and scarcely any of the gigs.

Mick Miller won and did a gig at XS Malarkey in Manchester off the back of it - his first performance at an 'alternative' comedy club, if that distinction still existed.

Presented by Russell Brand! There was an episode where all the contestants did mocking impersonations of him when he came in. I think I'd thought of him as mainly a posturing nuisance, previously, but it was seeing how rapt he was when you saw him watching the acts from the side of the stage that first made me think that maybe he did care about comedy.

yesitsme

If he liked chips that much why wasn't he blown up?

Cuntbeaks

Quote from: Rolf Lundgren on December 02, 2018, 10:32:28 PM
Does anyone remember Kings of Comedy?
This rings a bell. Wasn't there a good looking young female comedienne who was harassed by Boardman into getting some of her kit off as part of his 'act'?

Rolf Lundgren

Quote from: Action Fish on December 02, 2018, 11:57:53 PM
The only other contestant I remember was Ava Vidal. There was an episode where each comedian had to perform another's material, and Boardman did Vidal's and made a really bad fist of it. I remember being disappointed it always showed too much of the house and scarcely any of the gigs.

Ahh yes I remember her too. She wasn't great but to be fair it was early in her career and she didn't have enough material to sustain a long run on that show.

Quote
Mick Miller won and did a gig at XS Malarkey in Manchester off the back of it - his first performance at an 'alternative' comedy club, if that distinction still existed.

I completely forgot that! I thought Andrew Maxwell won it. And I've just been looking at the UK game shows website and they claim the winner was Boothby Graffoe.

Quote from: Cuntbeaks on December 03, 2018, 06:39:28 PM
This rings a bell. Wasn't there a good looking young female comedienne who was harassed by Boardman into getting some of her kit off as part of his 'act'?

Yeah, an actress called Catherine McQueen and Stan spent a lot of time flirting with her. Incidentally it's a hard show to Google, there's too many things called Kings of Comedy.

the

Quote from: Rolf Lundgren on December 03, 2018, 10:11:56 PMIncidentally it's a hard show to Google, there's too many things called Kings of Comedy.

Putting it in quotes turns up a few bits and bobs:

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q="kings+of+comedy"+"channel+4"

yesitsme

People moan about how the FA Cup isn't 'special' anymore but I always hated the hospitality tents where you'd see Tarby, Roger, Stan and Brucie legging it between to get their mush on the box.

The cheeky bastards would even tell the same jokes!

If ever one man deserved the epithet 'Scouse Cunt' it's Boardman.

You try saying 'Stan Boardman' without saying 'Scouse Cunt' before/during/or after.

biggytitbo

His joke wasn't even factually accurate!

QuoteAn incident during a live edition of The Des O'Connor Show (Thames) in the mid-1980s gained publicity at the time. A joke – about the Second World War reminiscences of a Polish pilot who flew in the Royal Air Force – made play on the word "Fokker", referring to the German Focke-Wulf aeroplanes.,[6] even though Fokker was a Dutch aircraft manufacturer and had nothing to do with Focke-Wulf. Had he set the joke in WW1 of course he would have been right as the Red Baron flew a Fokker tri plane

gilbertharding

Stan Boardman was the first stand up comedian I ever saw live - at Caesar's Palace 'nitespot' in Luton (a shed on an industrial estate IIRC). It was Booth Concrete Ltd's xmas party in about 1988 - we got taken by coach from St Neots to Luton, where we were fed chicken Kievs, and then watched some shit cabaret dancers, followed by Stan Boardman himself. The firm had put some money behind the bar - which ran out too quickly after the sales reps ordered bottles of Asti-Spumante. Then we all got coached back to St Neots.

I can remember NOTHING about his 'act' except the massive roar which greeted his first reference to his chippy. I will repost this anecdote when he actually dies.

Glebe

Quote from: studpuppet on December 01, 2018, 10:52:36 PMand killed his brother and his babysitter in the process), so the Germans get off fairly lightly from Stan, considering what he went through.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH6PSUgMrJ4

Flipping heck, never heard about that bit.

Pranet

I liked him when I saw him when I was five at Rockley Sands caravan park. I also seem to remember seeing Freddie and the Dreamers and Bob Carolgees with Spit the Dog

a duncandisorderly

Quote from: Glebe on December 04, 2018, 07:24:43 PM
Flipping heck, never heard about that bit.

there ought to be a name for the sort of ideological slack you cut someone when there's something awful in their past.