Dry January

[alan nagsworth]

As with abstaining from other naughty vices, the best thing about doing Dry January is that you mentally rack up "tokens" for your good work, which means you get to drink twice as much in February. I would call it making up for lost time, but guaranteed you're going to be losing more time in Feb, am I right!!! WHEEYYY bring it on

[Norton Canes]

Yeah done it oh, six or seven times now, gets easier each year. Almost made it through February last time. The key is to spend the whole of December drinking absolutely as much as you possibly possibly can, as a sort of aversion therapy.

Srsly though give it a go. Tell you what I would especially recommend it to anyone who considers themselves a beer connoisseur. Because after a few weeks off alcoholic beer you get a whole new taste perspective on your first few proper pints.

[Icehaven]

I've never done it, never even tried (tried Stoptober about 5 years ago, lasted until about the 3rd). Have to say I agree with others who have said it's possibly the worst month to not drink, although it makes sense in terms of financial and health implications after Christmas and New Year I just think piling another misery on top is too much.
How about Moderation January instead? Doesn't have quite the same ring to it but is way more realistic and still better than nothing. Just swap every other drink for water when you're drinking, or have a few more nights where you would normally have drunk but don't, rather than a full month (and it would have to be one of the months with 31 days too wouldn't it?) of total abstention.

[Buelligan]

I stopped some time ago - I think I'm about three or four years in now.  I very, very, occasionally have a wee nip of whiskey or something, that's about twice a year I reckon.  I just don't drink anymore and I used to be a serious drinking person, I'd walk into the pub and the barman would have it waiting.  I love being free of it.

The British drinking thing is true too.  Jesuschrist, you should see the poor sods when they come over here.  Lots of them act like choosing not to really fuck up their livers would be an admission of some sort of existential failure.  It's a little bit horrific, watching it from the outside.

[Golden E. Pump]

Birthday is 24th January, and fuck if I'm staying sober for that.

[The Boston Crab]

I drink if I feel like it really because I have no fear of death or almost anything. I love the descent into oblivion. I used to shit myself but now it's a wonderful comfort. I've lived a great life of love and pleasures and service to others and now I'm cruising to the grave. I'm not even a speck of dust and I leave no footprint nor crave a legacy. The idea is hilarious to me now. Everyone bangs on about cherishing your life but I feel every man can only make his choices and live and die with them. It genuinely won't matter after I'm dead so I don't cling to life. I only hope I'm lucky enough to die before all my loved ones so I can pretend for them that it's a peaceful journey into the unknown. I'm good at staying calm and reassuring others. If I'm the last around, I'll just kill myself on my own terms once I can't be arsed any more. Bottoms up.

[Twit 2]

Pass me that hammer and I'll smack your ears off then, you anhedonic cunt.

[The Boston Crab]

I'm just trying to be a hard man so I don't cry instead and release a howl of grief to rattle the very Kosmos. It'll be like opening Pandora's box but with a lot more gatling guns.

[Twit 2]

I feel much the same as what you posted, only I'm younger and have achieved less.

[The Boston Crab]

We'll definitely have to do a meet before then, though.

[Ferris]

Yeah British people love getting smashed. Middle of the morning, bit too much, whenever. It's mad really.

[Buelligan]

One particularly, from last summer, sticks.  At the restaurant where I work, a group of 10 adult Brits, all late twenties to early forties I'd guess, came for a summer lunch.  They all had kids with them, two were pregnant and one was breastfeeding.  They got through more than two cases of wine, plus aperitifs and digestifs and they drove home.  Fucking madness.  Lunch.

Beautiful day.  Ignore kids.  Get absolutely cunted.  Pay for expensive food you don't remember.  Drive yourself and your immediate family to somewhere expensive you've paid to stay and lie in bed feeling shit if you don't kill them all on the way back.  Swimming poll ripples outside.  WTF?  Desolate.

[The Boston Crab]

Nothing like getting cunted in another country and not giving a shit about anything including your bastard lifestyle accessory cunt kids. Amazing how few people in the history of the human race have had this experience but it's totally normalised for Brits. Blitz spirit.

[Paul Calf]

Driving them home while pissed might be a bit rum though.

[Buelligan]

Yeah and sitting there in your Antik Batik duff-smock, pouring eau de vie down your placenta.  Where's the love (of anything)?

[phes]

the French are almost twice as good as the Brits at killing each other in RTAs and alcohol related RTAs, to give them full credit for their handsome achievements

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

"I love the descent into oblivion " says the Boston Crab.

He's right, you know.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Yeah and sitting there in your Antik Batik duff-smock, pouring eau de vie down your placenta.  Where's the love (of anything)?

Love of getting pissed, innit missus ? You're coming across as a bit po-faced in your last couple of posts, btw. Well done on no longer feeling the need for alcohol anaesthetic from the sandpapering of the soul what every excruciating day of this fucking horrible life brings, I'm really chuffed for you, but let other folk get as pissed up as they like. They're complete cunts for drunkdriving home, I'll give you that, and hopefully didnae actually kill themselves and their children while doing so, but apart from that, fair play to them.

[Paul Calf]

No, but foetal alcohol syndrome is no party.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

No, but foetal alcohol syndrome is no party.

Start 'em early, eh, readers ? ;)

[:(]

Absolutely love going on the piss.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Absolutely love going on the piss.

We'll have to go out for a drink together, sometime.

[Buelligan]

No, but foetal alcohol syndrome is no party.

I'm afraid it's this Lisa.  I just don't have any tolerance at all for people that fuck other people over (and screwing your own kids lives before they're even born comes pretty high up that list for me).  If that's po-faced or intolerant, I can live with it.

[Jockice]

Can I do my usual rant here about the irony of some pissheads I know hating smoking? And add the bit about nobody ever having been a twat to me because they've had too many fags?

Go on, let me! It really winds people up.

[shiftwork2]

My girlfriend's gym bully (personal trainer) celebrated her birthday last month with a rampant night on the booze while six months pregnant.  That's a qualified health advice person. Take that nanny state.

[Icehaven]

nobody ever having been a twat to me because they've had too many fags?

I'm sure plenty of people have been twats because they haven't had enough though.

[The Boston Crab]

Yeah, as an ex-smoker, that was a conversation I had with a load of smokers except they were also pretty reluctant to accept that their passive smoke was literally accelerating the cell death of loads of other people over the course of their smoking careers.

BUT I NEVER GET AGGRESSIVE AFTER A CIGGY DO I

No, but you're certainly a bit tetchy now, pal. Why not have another ciggy? Chill out.

That said, big fan of smoking, drinking and abstention. I can do it all and enjoy them all, except ciggies because they make me feel grim. Cigar or fuck off now.

[nedthemumbler]

Try patches.  Your dreams will be psychedelic/terrifying.