Author Topic: Advent calendars  (Read 2173 times)

im barry bethel

  • Member
  • **
  • to be fair I don't care
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #30 on: December 03, 2018, 05:48:03 PM »
I can't imagine how much you'd have to hate yourself to subject yourself to a piece of Kinnerton chocolate every day for three weeks.

DESOLATION.

Tempted by a Kinnderton My Little Pony for 50p at Wilkinsons

PlanktonSideburns

  • Our love can destroy this whole fucking world
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #31 on: December 03, 2018, 05:53:18 PM »
Christ imagine having to eat a bag of pork scratchings EVERY day for a month tho. Wow

PlanktonSideburns

  • Our love can destroy this whole fucking world
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #32 on: December 03, 2018, 05:54:03 PM »
What day do you think it would start to get old? Ten? Fifteen? Fifteen MAX

seepage

  • throwing a dog at some goblins
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #33 on: December 03, 2018, 06:12:32 PM »
each bag is tiny, so last year I had two every other day. Last night the salt 'n' vinegar ones gave me a funny turn though, so I might not be able to finish them all this year.

thenoise

  • Golden Member
  • *****
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #34 on: December 03, 2018, 06:29:03 PM »
Novelty ones can fuck right off. I'm pleased you can buy plain/white chic etc for new tho as back in my day it was milk or fuck off.

I have a Godiva one that opens up, the windows look like pr Per windows and there are nic chunky chocs of all types, milk plain and white.

Twit 2

  • Captain Bim Fucklestrain
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #35 on: December 03, 2018, 06:32:11 PM »
Instead of an advent calendar you should cut a piece of your body off each day, except for the 24th when you should just stick your head out the window of a moving train and kiss the fucking signal gantry - a fitting end to your infantile, irrelevant little life.

Paul Calf

  • Links, links, links, links!
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Searching my car, lookin’ for the product
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #36 on: December 03, 2018, 06:36:54 PM »
U ok hun?

ZoyzaSorris

  • if you can smell me it's too late
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #37 on: December 03, 2018, 06:43:09 PM »
I was talking to someone about this topic yester-very-day and i recalled how I just had ones with (generally religiously inspired, despite being fully aware such things were total nutty bollocks even then) pictures behind each door and nothing else, and somehow derived a very worthwhile and notable rush of anticipation and excitement from it. Made me a little bit sad that I cant even get that kind of simple wholehearted fully untempered enjoyment from life from virtually anything these days, let alone the unveiling of a little tiny picture of a fictional scene behind a card doorway.

Twit 2

  • Captain Bim Fucklestrain
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #38 on: December 03, 2018, 06:47:30 PM »
U ok hun?

Whoops, forgot the scrolling ‘this is not my actual opinion’ disclaimer.

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #39 on: December 03, 2018, 07:03:58 PM »
24 pieces of chocolate er yes please!

alan nagsworth

  • i heard troubled breath
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #40 on: December 03, 2018, 07:18:50 PM »
How about this one then: the doors are all tabs of acid and behind each one there's a gram of speed and you just spend the best part of the month wide awake tripping off your nut. You'll be all set for January after that rollercoaster.

Captain Z

  • Oh yeah my cholesterol's going down
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #41 on: December 03, 2018, 07:54:43 PM »
Novelty ones can fuck right off. I'm pleased you can buy plain/white chic etc

I skim-read this and laughed out loud at the idea of a plain white advent calendar where behind each door is simply the number in heavy black text.

DolphinFace

  • Put it in me
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #42 on: December 03, 2018, 07:59:35 PM »
Am I the only one who grew up with a religious advent calendar? No chocolate for me.

I used to be excited to open the next door and all it usually revealed was another part of a manger.

Edit read the thread now Zoya said it. We weren't even religious but to me an advent calendar was just something religious. Hadn't even heard of a chocolate one when I were a kid.

canadagoose

  • Member
  • **
  • All my useless advice
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #43 on: December 03, 2018, 08:28:31 PM »
I decided to get myself an advent calendar this year for nostalgia's sake. It's a Dairy Milk one, and the shapes are all fairly recognisable, but the chocolate doesn't taste like the Kinnerton stuff I used to have as a kid (obviously, it tastes like Dairy Milk). It was only £1 in November, so I can hardly complain.

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #44 on: December 03, 2018, 08:35:30 PM »
Had one once and every day was goatse hello.jpg.

Cuellar

  • Push off my wire
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #45 on: December 03, 2018, 08:36:22 PM »
There's nothing 'advent' about them, and calendar? Good fucking luck. Ram it up your hole.

Dex Sawash

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Upphängningspunkterna
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #46 on: December 03, 2018, 10:26:28 PM »
Am I the only one who grew up with a religious advent calendar? No chocolate for me.

I used to be excited to open the next door and all it usually revealed was another part of a manger.

Edit read the thread now Zoya said it. We weren't even religious but to me an advent calendar was just something religious. Hadn't even heard of a chocolate one when I were a kid.

My grandmother had a wooden one with little figures in it but you weren't allowed to play with them or even get them out from behind the door. Just open and look.

ZoyzaSorris

  • if you can smell me it's too late
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #47 on: December 03, 2018, 10:34:03 PM »
Am I the only one who grew up with a religious advent calendar? No chocolate for me.

I used to be excited to open the next door and all it usually revealed was another part of a manger.

Edit read the thread now Zoya said it. We weren't even religious but to me an advent calendar was just something religious. Hadn't even heard of a chocolate one when I were a kid.

I love you, thanks for membering with me.

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #48 on: December 03, 2018, 10:38:44 PM »
They had Haribo ones in Tesco. Couldn't help myself as it contains some of the varieties that you can't normally get in the UK. Yesterday had a little bag of "Phantasia" which contains dinosaurs, various monsters, trolls, gnomes and such from European folklore and, in keeping with the Christian spirit of Christmas, Satan himself.

A genuine spontaneous cackle which woke up my wife for a brief moment.

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #49 on: December 03, 2018, 11:09:17 PM »
How about this one then: the doors are all tabs of acid and behind each one there's a gram of speed and you just spend the best part of the month wide awake tripping off your nut. You'll be all set for January after that rollercoaster.

Surely some enterprising suspicious online shops brought out legal highs advent calendars before the 2016 ban? There were certainly enough varieties to fill a month and way more effective in the nuttedness stakes than a piffling miniature whisky a day. A simultaneous acknowledgement of Christmas' pagan roots and its commercialised future.

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #50 on: December 04, 2018, 12:10:26 AM »
Just got the sake of veracity, in the Lego Star Wars calendar so far there has been Luke’s landspeeder, a Rose Tico minifig (just to piss off the racist Last Jedi haterz) and some spaceship from a cartoon TV show nobody watches (no, not SW Rebels).

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #51 on: December 04, 2018, 03:35:05 PM »
Haribo update: Yesterday's door was a bit dull with a bag of the old Goldbears (or Goldbaren in German. How exotic!), but today threatened to turn the week on it's head: Gingerbread Men!

"Oh wow! Do they taste of gingerbread?" My partner became quite excited to try gingerbread flavoured Haribo so you can only imagine her disappointment when she tucked into a couple to find they tasted like your standard cola bottles. I tried to convince her that the cola flavour utilised by Haribo has a very similar, warming flavour to ginger but she was having none of it. Absolutely ruined her Tuesday.

thenoise

  • Golden Member
  • *****
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #52 on: December 04, 2018, 05:44:03 PM »
My grandparents used to buy me a religious picture-only advent calendar. My parents bought me a proper choccy one.

Trouble was I was a fat choccqholic cunt witH zero self control, so I would sneak ahead and have half a choc here and there ahead of time. Typically by day 10 I would have opened all the doors and eaten some from each, and by day 15 the lot was gone. At least I could still countdown to the big day using my religious advent calendar (could just about resist peeping at the dull images of the baby Jesus in a manger before each morning's reveal).

You know that psychology experiment where you let kids decide whether to have one sweet now Or two sweets later? And theair ability to defer pleasure for greater long term rewards is a better indicator of their success in life than academic success or money or whether they are a toff or not? (Apart from the latter). Well I am a failure, but surprisinly not that fat. Do have gallstones though. Merry Christmas!

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #53 on: December 04, 2018, 08:09:18 PM »
I can't imagine how much you'd have to hate yourself to subject yourself to a piece of Kinnerton chocolate every day for three weeks.

DESOLATION.

It's ok, the pieces are about half the size of last year's!  And there are cute ponies behind each door to take the bitterness away.

Loads of decent ones for £1 in B&M, they'll be long gone by the weekend when I'll get a chance to look though :c

There needs to be one of that Final Fantasy VII movie where everyone has the plague.

St_Eddie

  • LIKES: Deviled eggs DISLIKES: The Devil & bad eggs
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #54 on: December 04, 2018, 09:18:39 PM »
They should release a regular calendar, with little chocolate treats for every day of the year and a picture of a green check mark behind each door and chocolate, to indicate another day passed.  Might actually encourage the likes of me to actually pay heed to what's written on it and stop my loved ones from getting angry at me for forgetting yet another birthday.

Dragon's Den, here I come (with my absolutely massive calendar, weighing in at 153 pounds and stuffed to the brim with rancid chocolate).

im barry bethel

  • Member
  • **
  • to be fair I don't care
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #55 on: December 05, 2018, 06:24:34 AM »
Haribo update: Yesterday's door was a bit dull with a bag of the old Goldbears (or Goldbaren in German. How exotic!), but today threatened to turn the week on it's head: Gingerbread Men!

Spoiler Haribo Christmas trees and snowmen!


Quality Street can fuck off with it's shitty toffee penny though

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #56 on: December 05, 2018, 06:36:41 AM »
Advert calendars, more like

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #57 on: December 05, 2018, 06:50:16 AM »
We never had chocolate in our advent calendars and loved the old fashioned style ones.

New one each year I seem to remember, did hear of friends who had the same one from year to year. My mum gets narky now when I ask her not to buy chocolate ones for her grandchildren. If a glittery bell was good enough for us then it's good enough for them.

The one up at the moment is a knitted one with numbered pockets and moveable knitted gnomes which is great for helping them with their numbers. Going to get one with doors next year though.

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #58 on: December 05, 2018, 07:58:45 AM »

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • Gargoyles have milk bags.
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #59 on: December 05, 2018, 08:08:04 AM »
How long have the chocolate advent calendars been around?  We never had them in my house until around 1989 or 1990, so my memory is that they just didn’t exist.  It never crossed my mind that you could count towards Christmas with anything other than a series of crudely waterpainted Christmas card miniatures behind poorly perforated windows that kept tearing.  I thought that was literally the only option on all of the earth.