Author Topic: Advent calendars  (Read 2146 times)

Captain Crunch

  • Twister, Dustbuster, Hospital Bed
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #60 on: December 06, 2018, 11:29:30 AM »
One of my old workmates made his wife a jewellery advent calendar.  Seriously. 

St_Eddie

  • LIKES: Deviled eggs DISLIKES: The Devil & bad eggs
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #61 on: December 06, 2018, 12:07:54 PM »
One of my old workmates made his wife a jewellery advent calendar.  Seriously.

Oooooh, hark at him.  He thinks he's David Essex!

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #62 on: December 06, 2018, 12:24:19 PM »
Hold on what's this Sarlacc Pit and Sail Barge Lego Star Wars advent calendar? I've got one (supposed to be sharing it with my son but it's mine) and we've had Luke's car, some unidentifiable space ships, and ROSE the SJW from Rian 'SJW' Johnson's UNACCEPTABLE version of 'Episode VIII' for SJWs!!! I nearly threw the fucking thing on the fire but we've not got a fire.

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #63 on: December 06, 2018, 12:25:20 PM »
One of my old workmates made his wife a jewellery advent calendar.  Seriously.

Won't she break her teeth on them? Rubbish husband.

thenoise

  • Golden Member
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Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #64 on: December 06, 2018, 12:26:38 PM »
Hotel Chocolat do a £68 squid one. £68 squid! Fuck me in the arse.

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #65 on: December 06, 2018, 01:16:20 PM »
Would be expected, after that.

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #66 on: December 06, 2018, 02:22:48 PM »
Haribo update: Biggest door so far. Behind it, a big strawberry jelly stocking! Absolutely brilliant. Like the massive jellies you'd get in the pick 'n' mix. Can't stop thinking about how big and chewy it was. Amazing.

Norton Canes

  • Nuclear know-how, with an element of truth
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #67 on: December 06, 2018, 02:31:07 PM »
I was talking to someone about this topic yester-very-day and i recalled how I just had ones with (generally religiously inspired, despite being fully aware such things were total nutty bollocks even then) pictures behind each door and nothing else, and somehow derived a very worthwhile and notable rush of anticipation and excitement from it. Made me a little bit sad that I cant even get that kind of simple wholehearted fully untempered enjoyment from life from virtually anything these days, let alone the unveiling of a little tiny picture of a fictional scene behind a card doorway

YES to this. I buy Mrs Canes an illustrated advent calendar each year, albeit one leaning more towards a pagan/nature-based representation of Xmas. You should hear the coo of satisfaction she emits each morning when opening her flaps.

Norton Canes

  • Nuclear know-how, with an element of truth
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #68 on: December 06, 2018, 02:31:41 PM »
I'm really sorry.

thenoise

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Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #69 on: December 06, 2018, 03:28:02 PM »
I bet she'd enjoy opening her chocolate door even more.

Norton Canes

  • Nuclear know-how, with an element of truth
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #70 on: December 06, 2018, 04:03:38 PM »
I've only got myself to blame

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #71 on: December 06, 2018, 04:06:13 PM »
Like the massive jellies you'd get in the pick 'n' mix. Can't stop thinking about how big and chewy it was. Amazing.

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #72 on: December 06, 2018, 04:12:20 PM »
Like the massive jellies you'd get in the pick 'n' mix. Can't stop thinking about how big and chewy it was. Amazing.

What a deeply unpleasant little man you are.

Captain Crunch

  • Twister, Dustbuster, Hospital Bed
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #73 on: December 06, 2018, 04:13:44 PM »
Bit harsh.

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #74 on: December 06, 2018, 04:20:54 PM »
Bit harsh.

To be fair, I was implying that I was talking about Norton Canes' other half's anus.

In my defence, I'm 6ft 1.

Norton Canes

  • Nuclear know-how, with an element of truth
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #75 on: December 06, 2018, 04:32:38 PM »
Mea culpa

seepage

  • throwing a dog at some goblins
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #76 on: December 06, 2018, 05:17:26 PM »
pork scratchings update: 4th Dec was "BBQ" flavour. Pulled a muscle getting up from sofa and now in agony. The little bastards bags have definitely got it in for me this year.

St_Eddie

  • LIKES: Deviled eggs DISLIKES: The Devil & bad eggs
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #77 on: December 06, 2018, 05:51:05 PM »
...we've had Luke's car, some unidentifiable space ships, and ROSE the SJW from Rian 'SJW' Johnson's UNACCEPTABLE version of 'Episode VIII' for SJWs!!! I nearly threw the fucking thing on the fire but we've not got a fire.

There's a little Lego fire behind the 22nd door.  It's meant to go with the little Lego dead Jawas, decaying behind the 17the door, as slaughtered by the little Lego stormtroopers lurking within door 16 but you could always chuck little Lego Rose Tico on there instead, thus transforming her into a little Lego Roast Taco.

pork scratchings update: 4th Dec was "BBQ" flavour. Pulled a muscle getting up from sofa and now in agony. The little bastards bags have definitely got it in for me this year.

It could be worse.  You could be lower on the food chain.  I thought that turkeys had it bad at Christmas but now the pigs are also sweating like... an animal that sweats a lot.

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #78 on: December 06, 2018, 10:07:37 PM »
Got a fancy Lindor one for a fiver.  Nothing behind the doors but good chocolate, but happy now.  I can open one for cuteness and shit chocolate, and the other for good chocolate and a blank door, best of both worlds

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #79 on: December 06, 2018, 11:40:05 PM »
Member those ones where it was just a picture? Ah brilliant.

tookish

  • Fool of a Took
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #80 on: December 06, 2018, 11:48:34 PM »
I wasn't going to bother this year, but my partner bought me a Thorntons advent calendar in the reductions and it is rather lovely actually. Proper continental truffles, different every day. My favourite so far has been the Seville caramel, bloody good it was. I'm enjoying beginning every day with a fancy chocolate as well.

Oliver Mardy

  • Gacky wagnags
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #81 on: December 07, 2018, 01:25:27 AM »
I bet she'd enjoy opening her chocolate door even more.

lol!! Where do you come up with these? Amazing.

Oliver Mardy

  • Gacky wagnags
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #82 on: December 07, 2018, 01:26:16 AM »
Member those ones where it was just a picture? Ah brilliant.
Edit: PCBA

Cuntbeaks

  • Guess who's coming to dinner?
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #83 on: December 07, 2018, 01:47:57 AM »
I wasn't going to bother this year, but my partner bought me a Thorntons advent calendar in the reductions and it is rather lovely actually. Proper continental truffles, different every day. My favourite so far has been the Seville caramel, bloody good it was. I'm enjoying beginning every day with a fancy chocolate as well.
Thorntons really turned to shit about 10 years ago or so. Up until then their offerings were a step up from run of the chocolates such as Roses, Quality St etc. Now, its all sugary vile shit, an affront to the discerning palate.

imitationleather

  • "The French... are famous... for their kissing"
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Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #84 on: December 07, 2018, 03:43:13 AM »
Lovehoney did a sex toy one for about two hundred quid. Just imagine the degenerates who bought that. Also I thought I knew loads about sex but them managing to fill it with twenty-five different sex toys suggests I have barely scratched the surface when it comes to getting down.

What kind of sick bastard has that many sex toys knocking around their flat anyway? Come on guys, sort it out. A dildo and a couple of other things is fine but twenty-five is getting on for the sort of level Rose West was operating at.

I have a Quality Street advent calender. Much better than any of all this sex that people are apparently having.

im barry bethel

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  • to be fair I don't care
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #85 on: December 07, 2018, 07:44:24 AM »
Haribo update: Biggest door so far. Behind it, a big strawberry jelly stocking! Absolutely brilliant. Like the massive jellies you'd get in the pick 'n' mix. Can't stop thinking about how big and chewy it was. Amazing.

All I'll say is you will be SHOCKED at what you find behind door No.7

Lovehoney did a sex toy one for about two hundred quid. Just imagine the degenerates who bought that.

Door No.12 is a pair of handcuffs, you have to wait till door No.17 for the keys

I have a Quality Street advent calender. Much better than any of all this sex that people are apparently having.

Only until you get the toffee penny

mothman

  • I don't know why
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #86 on: December 07, 2018, 09:05:39 AM »
Only until you get the toffee penny

Everyone likes a hard filling.

Captain Crunch

  • Twister, Dustbuster, Hospital Bed
Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #87 on: December 07, 2018, 02:55:07 PM »
Book advent calendar:


thenoise

  • Golden Member
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Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #88 on: December 07, 2018, 07:43:03 PM »
Ha ha, I wish I had either the free time or the concentration span to read a book per day.  That lot would take me a year, at least.

Could manage a film a day though, that might be interesting.  Unless it was all Christmas films...

Re: Advent calendars
« Reply #89 on: December 07, 2018, 07:47:44 PM »