Author Topic: In Praise Of Alcoholism  (Read 963 times)

In Praise Of Alcoholism
« on: December 04, 2018, 09:25:48 AM »
The Boston Crab's  got it right in the comments what he makes on the second page of the Dry January thread.

Yer woman Buelligan's got it right too, insomuch as she's not a big fan of people who drive while drunk, and people who get pissed up while preggers. Fair play, two No-No's, right there.

Otherwise, get as pissed up as you like. Wasn't it marvellous how Peter Cook let himself go? I remember reading something his top mate Chris Langham said about how it was a bit of a shame that Peter Cook died the death of some derelict dipsomaniac tramp, as, basically, his insides exploded inside him, due to somewhat excessive partaking of drink. But, fucking Hell he lived to  (almost ) 60 (just three years shy of that very age), so that's not bad going, is it? Probably had a whale of a time too, especially when he got a letter from his doctor saying 'You've got cirrhosis of the liver, mate ", and he downed a bottle of vodka to celebrate, in true 'ah, well/ Fuck It " styleee.
As we all know, this life is a right load of old bollocks. So, nothing wrong with getting pissed up as often as you possibly can. I expect nothing but full agreement on this very issue.

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2018, 09:48:15 AM »
No time at the moment, but am looking forward to christmas, will do it then. Have precisely one beer a week, an at-work beer, a workplace-approved beer. One is not enough and I crave more. Mummy has a shed full of tins of carling, and that is what I shall drink.

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2018, 10:03:38 AM »


'I quit smoking in December. I’m really depressed about it. I love smoking, I love fire, I miss lighting cigarettes. I like the whole thing about it, to me it turns into the artist’s life, and now people like Bloomberg have made animals out of smokers, and they think that if they stop smoking everyone will live forever.'


I remember reading something his top mate Chris Langham said about how it was a bit of a shame that Peter Cook died the death of some derelict dipsomaniac tramp

Yeah, Chris Langham is not really in a position to criticise others for ruining their legacies.

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2018, 10:29:07 AM »
It seems a very yucky way to go. Bloated, yeasty-smelling, piss-soaked & blotchy.

Nowhere Man

  • Yeah mate would love a brew, cheers x
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2018, 10:56:10 AM »
We're all heading towards the grave, either way. Well chuffed for the people that have successfully managed to knock it off, but I don't have a problem with getting absolutely chutneyed as long as you're not destroying people's lives in the process.

Life can be shit so it makes sense why people have vices to get through it, if it's not drinking it could be binge eating, smoking, drugs ect.

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2018, 11:05:00 AM »
Are ya— Are ya lookin’ at my pint?

:(

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2018, 11:06:06 AM »
Love going on the piss. On a Withnail and I type farmhouse break a few weeks ago I drank for 72 hours straight, assisted by MDMA, joints and bacon rolls. Absolutely brilliant. Recommend it to anyone.

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2018, 11:11:15 AM »
I luv you people. Bestest in the whole world.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #8 on: December 04, 2018, 11:14:05 AM »
Love going on the piss. On a Withnail and I type farmhouse break a few weeks ago I drank for 72 hours straight, assisted by MDMA, joints and bacon rolls. Absolutely brilliant. Recommend it to anyone.

That's part of any normal childhood but I Corinthians 13:11.  Whole point of pushing it is finding how far, once you've established that, move on to other adventures.  Repeating the same experiment on a loop is just as boring as not doing it in the first place, possibly more so.

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #9 on: December 04, 2018, 11:14:58 AM »
Fuck alcohol.  Fuck the part of our human brain that is so in thrall to it, fuck the toxic sludge washing around our liver, fuck frailty, emotional sepsis, tooth jangling fizz or icy spirit.  Fuck sucking unwanted tabs furring tongues before dawn, fuck being so tired.  Fuck shaving badly, or wire brushing skin.  Fuck fermented sugar, low hanging fruit over open goals.  Fuck being too old to know better but not quite ready to try. 

:(

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #10 on: December 04, 2018, 11:15:20 AM »
Not really. Haven't done that for years. That's partly why it was so good.

Alberon

  • His heart is an empty fridge
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #11 on: December 04, 2018, 11:15:47 AM »
I’ll be sick on a dog in the morning.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #12 on: December 04, 2018, 11:18:34 AM »
Just try not to look up.  Or down.

Vodka Margarine

  • Television sick and television crazy
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #13 on: December 04, 2018, 11:43:33 AM »
Fuck alcohol.  Fuck the part of our human brain that is so in thrall to it, fuck the toxic sludge washing around our liver, fuck frailty, emotional sepsis, tooth jangling fizz or icy spirit.  Fuck sucking unwanted tabs furring tongues before dawn, fuck being so tired.  Fuck shaving badly, or wire brushing skin.  Fuck fermented sugar, low hanging fruit over open goals.  Fuck being too old to know better but not quite ready to try.

Alanis Morissette original draft etc.

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #14 on: December 04, 2018, 12:07:30 PM »
I like a nice big glass full of lovely beer as much as the next man - but I think you can go too far. Luckily I was always too much of a lightweight  - as a younger drinker I'd probably puke 6/8ths of what I'd drunk, and as I got older I found I could no longer hack the hangovers.

And then there's the famous letter written by Byrds sticksman Michael Clarke. Look it up, if you haven't read it. Look at the before and after pictures of a man who died - his liver turned to pâté  - aged 47.

Nowhere Man

  • Yeah mate would love a brew, cheers x
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #15 on: December 04, 2018, 12:32:52 PM »
fucking hell, 2 litres of Vodka almost every day, in addition to other alchohol? That's mental.

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #16 on: December 04, 2018, 12:40:36 PM »
Depends where you are I suppose.

For example, I just got back from Birmingham and if I had to live there i'd probably go full Graham Chapman.

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #17 on: December 04, 2018, 12:53:14 PM »


Quote
I got hooked, that's right hooked on alcohol.

Quote
Because I destroyed my liver with alcohol, my wastes had no way to leave my body and as a result my testicles swelled up to the size of a basketball. You can't even imagine how painful they were. It was like someone took a sledge hammer and hit them about 1000 times and wouldn't stop.

Wow, really makes you think twice.

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #18 on: December 04, 2018, 12:57:33 PM »
Yeah, don't think I'll be drinking two fucking litres of vodka a day in a hurry. The daft cunt.

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #19 on: December 04, 2018, 01:00:17 PM »
What he doesn't mention in the letter is that he died doing what he loved.

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #20 on: December 04, 2018, 01:09:28 PM »
I had designs on my own kid(ney)s

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #21 on: December 04, 2018, 01:16:43 PM »
Holy fuck that Micheal Clark letter from the grave is grim.  I thought everyone was having boundless fun in the sixties music scene.

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #22 on: December 04, 2018, 02:01:32 PM »
What is alcoholism if not boundless fun?

I'd like to know the origin of this letter. The speaker refers to himself in the past tense, and even specifies the date of his death. It reads like finger-wagging rhetoric and doesn't give the impression that the man himself wrote it.

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #23 on: December 04, 2018, 02:11:28 PM »
Quote
I had been a great looking teenager and handsome man who was 1.9metres tall and my normal weight was 80 kilos. I was a real lady's man and women loved me when I was healthy, but right before I died I was a horrible mess. My face was unrecognisable to my family and friends. You would have shuddered from the sight of me, I looked like a walking skeleton. I was so weak, I couldn't even smile.

When you look at that, it seems like his mum or his wife wrote it.

Buelligan

  • STOP being afraid
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #24 on: December 04, 2018, 02:12:00 PM »
I think that's what's really important here.  It's probably fine, even fun, to die of alcohol addiction and the whole thing's a lie made up by narrow-minded fun-spoilers.  I've known quite a few alcoholics and they all enjoyed it.

Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #25 on: December 04, 2018, 02:23:29 PM »
Word to the wise: when you die of alcohol poisoning, Buelligan will scribe a penitent, 'confessional' letter on your behalf. Because she knows best. She has captured the moral of the story.

kngen

  • Member
  • **
  • Fighting sleep's deathlike grip
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #26 on: December 04, 2018, 02:38:29 PM »
Haven't had a sniff of bevvy in just under a fortnight and I feel fucking awful.

PlanktonSideburns

  • Our love can destroy this whole fucking world
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #27 on: December 04, 2018, 02:41:46 PM »
Yea can't wait to alienate all my friends and fill my testicles to bursting with my own turds, great times

Cuellar

  • Push off my wire
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #28 on: December 04, 2018, 02:44:41 PM »
Quote
It was like someone took a sledge hammer and hit them about 1000 times and wouldn't stop.

Sounds like they stopped after 1000 hits, mate

If alcohol leads to this level of muddy sentence construction you can count me out of it.

gilbertharding

  • Not even the rudest man in the Beatles
Re: In Praise Of Alcoholism
« Reply #29 on: December 04, 2018, 02:46:38 PM »
What he doesn't mention in the letter is that he died doing what he loved.


Quote from: Mike Clarke
...my testicles swelled up to the size of a basketball. You can't even imagine how painful they were. It was like someone took a sledge hammer and hit them about 1000 times and wouldn't stop.