New scales

[Norton Canes]

Just been messaging Mrs Canes about meeting up for lunch. I've already had my sarnies and therefore suggested cake but she hasn't eaten yet so wants savoury. However when I attempted to ascertain exactly how savoury, she became nonplussed. For this reason I propose there should be a savouriness scale so that people can discuss savouriness with a measure of objectivity.

Do you agree? If so how should it be calibrated? What should it be called? Are there any other variable quantities that are in need of a scale?

Or just make some lewd quips. But don't let them be too, heh... objectionable.

[kittens]

you'll need some new scales after two helpings of sandwiches you fat fucking fat fuck, cheers

[Beagle 2]

I suppose at one end you've got your enigmatic gender benders like a cheese scone going right up to pure anti-matter savoury i.e. bovril.

[shiftwork2]

I would describe a cheese scone as fairly savoury.  There you go you see, it's always subjective.

[Beagle 2]

What about a flipz mate

[Norton Canes]

you'll need some new scales after two helpings of sandwiches you fat fucking fat fuck, cheers

No not two helpings hence cake suggestion

[pancreas]

Chinese snacks are usually quite non-binary in this respect. Sometimes they can feel like trans-sweets and sometimes trans-savouries. Also, quite like trans-people, initially you are a bit wtf, but then you're like, mmm this is actually quite delicious ... and rag it/them to fuck.

[biggytitbo]

Is savoury a thing in itself, or just the absence of sweetness or sour? Or is sourness a type of savoury? What of umami?

[kittens]

No not two helpings hence cake suggestion

NO if you have savoury again that is TWO HELPINGS OF SANDWICHES for goodness' sake. and that will make you FAT which will BREAK your SCALES and you will need NEW SCALES.

[Huxleys Babkins]

I would describe a cheese scone as fairly savoury.  There you go you see, it's always subjective.

Yeah, but get a bit of plum chutney in there and try again. Now it is VERGING ON PUDDING.

Nice brie sandwich you've got there, sir. Very savoury. Be a shame if someone were to put grapes in it. Oh, now look at it, sir, it is EFFECTIVELY CAKE.

Gammon with a pineapple ring and a bit of Demerara? Roasted turkey with cranberry sauce? IKEA meatballs with lingonberry jam? Honey roasted veg? One of those posh pates or pork pies with the fruit on top? A BRIOCHE BUN?????

But what is this now? Dessert time? But what shall I have. CHEESE AND BISCUITS??? For fucks sake. Savoury at the end? No, you must run to the nearest church and confess for you and your diet are an abomination in the eyes of the Lord and you must be cleansed by his love.

[kittens]

if it was a very fat guy he could have two sets of scales and have one foot on each and add the results up. if it was a tremendously fat guy and he needed more than two scales then that would be a very very fat person indeed.

[kittens]

you'd see a very fat person and say 'real three scaler there' and everyone would be like great gag kittens mate you're right that guy is really really fat.

[pancreas]

You haven't though this through, as usual. Even with the two-scaler, he puts his foot on one, but as soon as he lifts his foot off the ground, he is being held up by just one scales, and they are then broken.

[king_tubby]

They've all got a bit of plum chutney in there by the time I've finished with them.

[kittens]

You haven't though this through, as usual. Even with the two-scaler, he puts his foot on one, but as soon as he lifts his foot off the ground, he is being held up by just one scales, and they are then broken.

he is LIFTED on to the scales by the apparatus. his doctor has installed the apparatus in his bathroom and it is also used to hover him above the toilet. this is all pretty obvious stuff but of course your brain is too addled by centuries old champagne and rotten french cheese to reason this out.

[biggytitbo]

Never understood the obsession with putting sweet and savoury together like it's some kind of contrived mismatched buddy comedy from the 80s. Cheese and pineapple? Dirty. A slow roast beef joint served with creme eggs? NO.

[Icehaven]

I love sweet and savoury together, pineapple on pizza, raisins in stews, salted caramel, dunno why it's so feared and loathed. I've known at least 2 adults (and not even particularly old ones) pop their eyes at the concept of having apricots in Moroccan lamb stew then go on to demand it in future when they realise what a taste sensation it is. Draw the line at those Fray Bentos steak and kidney bombes though, that's going too far.

[Glebe]

[tag]Smaug writes to Santa.[/tag]

[Sebastian Cobb]

you'll need some new scales after two helpings of sandwiches you fat fucking fat fuck, cheers

Nobody's gotten fat off sandwiches you wally.

Pies, cakes, crisps, aye. Sandwiches? Nah.

[Glebe]

I propose there should be a savouriness scale so that people can discuss savouriness with a measure of objectivity.

"I think this is an excellent idea,
and you should definitely follow-
through on it, if you'll pardon the
expression."

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

If you want to know about new scales you should talk to a lizard! Eh? Eh?

He's in oil? Is he a sardine?

[Cuellar]

I would describe a cheese scone as fairly savoury.  There you go you see, it's always subjective.

I HATE cheese scones

[thenoise]

In Cornwall, where I live now, our cafe owners are as enterprising as the local diet, and cultural reference points, are limited.  They have come up with the concept of the 'savoury cream tea' - namely, scones with cheese or cream cheese and chutney, instead of the usual jam and clotted cream.  It definitely isn't as savoury as eg a scotched egg or sausaged roll, but it's savoury enough to be called savoury.  So why don't you both go out for cream tea?  You might have to go to Cornwall, unless anywhere else does savoury cream tea, which is probably does, I don't know.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Scones are shite when you think about it. Too dense and dry (like ur mum, lol).

[Emma Raducanu]

Duck and waffle mate. Duck, waffle, fried egg with mustard and thyme infused maple syrup. It's what EVERYONE down in London is eating right now.

[Sherringford Hovis]

salted caramel, dunno why it's so feared and loathed.

Cultural conditioning, pure and simple. I was opposed to the very idea of salty toffee until...

I've not had a toke in six months or so due to work restrictions, but (weirdly synchronised with imitationleather's afflictions) I fuckin' broke my fuckin' humerus in two places a few weeks ago, so on Tuesday night after Chonging a couple of sizeable bowls I sprinkled kosher salt into a ramekin and dunked Rolos that had been squeezed just enough so that the caramel ooze picked up the sparkly crystals.

EVERYONE MUST DO THIS.

[Dex Sawash]

Cultural conditioning, pure and simple. I was opposed to the very idea of salty toffee until...

I've not had a toke in six months or so due to work restrictions, but (weirdly synchronised with imitationleather's afflictions) I fuckin' broke my fuckin' humerus in two places a few weeks ago, so on Tuesday night after Chonging a couple of sizeable bowls I sprinkled kosher salt into a ramekin and dunked Rolos that had been squeezed just enough so that the caramel ooze picked up the sparkly crystals.

EVERYONE MUST DO THIS.

GOING TO STORE NOW


edit- FORGOT THE FUCKING ROLO

[Replies From View]

if it was a very fat guy he could have two sets of scales and have one foot on each and add the results up. if it was a tremendously fat guy and he needed more than two scales then that would be a very very fat person indeed.

Rest his tail on the third one maybe

[Twit 2]

[tag]Nicolas Slonimsky leaves thread disappointed[/tag]