Love Actually the film people watch at Christmas

[Dex Sawash]

I made it about half way before falling asleep. I wasn't really prepared for how shit it would be between the collective favorite moments.

edit- new page have another go tonight

[BlodwynPig]

I must say its always worth a watch for the Martin Freeman and Bill Nighy storylines. I find them genuinely quite heartwarming.

You're a dickhead

[bgmnts]

You're a dickhead

Merry Christmas.

[BlodwynPig]

Merry Christmas.

Two weeks, stalking bastard

[BlodwynPig]

Starting now ITV2

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

There are two genuinely good bits in Love, Actually, and here they are. I shall brook no argument over this.

Bill Nighy referring to Ant and Dec as "Ant or Dec".

An utterly devastated Emma Thompson straightening her duvet then putting on a brave face for her kids. A fine piece of acting.

What bits of Love, Actually do you like, readers?

I agree with all the other criticisms of it, obviously, but I thought I'd introduce a bit of seasonal positivity to the thread. Love is all around etc.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

There are two genuinely good bits in Love, Actually, and here they are. I shall brook no argument over this.

Bill Nighy referring to Ant and Dec as "Ant or Dec".

An utterly devastated Emma Thompson straightening her duvet then putting on a brave face for her kids. A fine piece of acting.

What bits of Love, Actually do you like, readers?

I agree with all the other criticisms of it, obviously, but I thought I'd introduce a bit of seasonal positivity to the thread. Love is all around etc.

The Bill Nighy one is *literally* the only good bit in "Love Actually". That Emma Thompson bit is overwrought, overacted, manipulative rubbish.
Gosh, "Love, Actually" really isn't a good film at all, is it?

[bgmnts]

What's wrong with the Martin Freeman stuff????

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

It's not funny. Or charming.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

That Emma Thompson scene isn't overacted in the slightest. Her understatement is what makes it stand out from the rest of the film.

Manipulative? Sure, but I don't have a problem with being manipulated by an affecting performance.

As I say, NO ARGUMENT BROOKED.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

What's wrong with the Martin Freeman stuff????

It's utterly pointless?

[bgmnts]

It's utterly pointless?

It's a separate story in a film that is four or five separate stories...

[Cuellar]

Yeah the best bit is definitely when Bill Night cops off with Rab C Nesbitt at the end.

Would a whole film of that story line be palatable? A Scrooge reimagining? Dunno.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

It's a separate story in a film that is four or five separate stories...

I'm aware of that, but it's by far the slightest story in a film hardly renowned for its depth.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

It's a separate story in a film that is four or five separate stories...

Well, there's about 8 of the feckers; and this particular one is the slightest one of the lot. It's not an actively annoying one though, like that one with My Family fucking the stateside slappers within about 3 minutes of meeting them. I actually find that story offensive.

EDIT: Didnae see yer man Ballad's post before posting this, actually.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Yeah the best bit is definitely when Bill Night cops off with Rab C Nesbitt at the end.

Would a whole film of that story line be palatable? A Scrooge reimagining? Dunno.

It's really quite unpleasant when Nighy demands that they get pissed and watch porn. You're left with the horrible thought of them sitting together on a tatty settee, wanking and sobbing.

[Cuellar]

I'd highly recommend the Dutch version of this film, Alles is Liefde (Love is Everything).

It takes all the questionable shit in the original and ramps it up to 11. The main storyline involves the Dutch Prince (Royal, not singer) taking a job as a department store Zwarte Piet (blacked up helper of Sinterklaas) in order to woo her out of Game of Thrones.

Spoiler alert!: She has sex with him, WHILE HE'S BLACKED UP, and he doesn't tell her who he really is, so he's effectively raping her. It's glossed over at the end by her saying 'oh I knew it was you all along', yeah chinny reckon

What a cosy Christmas time!

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I'd highly recommend the Dutch version of this film, Alles is Liefde (Love is Everything).

It takes all the questionable shit in the original and ramps it up to 11. The main storyline involves the Dutch Prince (Royal, not singer) taking a job as a department store Zwarte Piet (blacked up helper of Sinterklaas) in order to woo her out of Game of Thrones.

Spoiler alert!: She has sex with him, WHILE HE'S BLACKED UP, and he doesn't tell her who he really is, so he's effectively raping her. It's glossed over at the end by her saying 'oh I knew it was you all along', yeah chinny reckon

What a cosy Christmas time!

Bloody Hell, so he has to make a right old effort on the blacking up front? I mean he'd have to black up his old man (meaning his willy, not his dad ), and everything.
And supposing GOT says afterwards "Aren't you going to have a shower now, you skanky git?" What then? Eh ?

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

^ Bah. I fucked up the quote function thing again. Well, read what I wrote anyways, it's dead perceptive.

[BlodwynPig]

Gah, happy people! Deluded wormy bastards

[Cuellar]

^ Bah. I fucked up the quote function thing again. Well, read what I wrote anyways, it's dead perceptive.

He slips away before she wakes up, leaving his blackface makeup romantically on her pillow.

Waddaguy

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

He slips away before she wakes up, leaving his blackface makeup romantically on her pillow.

Waddaguy

I was going to add "and up her snatch/ botty as well I would imagine", but I'm supposing he used a rubber johnny, like a sensible feller. Good lad.

Used the quote function right, what a star I am.

[Jerzy Bondov]

Please can we talk about the press conference:

Press Conference Reporter: Mr. President, has it been a good visit?

The President: Very satisfactory indeed. We got what we came for, and our special relationship is still very special.

Press Conference Reporter: Prime Minister?

Prime Minister: I love that word "relationship." Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it? I fear that this has become a bad relationship; a relationship based on the President taking exactly what he wants and casually ignoring all those things that really matter to, erm... Britain. We may be a small country, but we're a great one, too. The country of Shakespeare, Churchill, the Beatles, Sean Connery, Harry Potter. David Beckham's right foot. David Beckham's left foot, come to that. And a friend who bullies us is no longer a friend. And since bullies only respond to strength, from now onward I will be prepared to be much stronger. And the President should be prepared for that.

This really is shit isn't it. So shit. He gives this little speech because the President has tried to pull his bird by the way. His little list of great British things includes a man who doesn't live in Britain for tax reasons, a book about a magic boy, and a big fat old racist twat.

Incidentally my wife has the soundtrack to About Time in the car and it's such a load of middle aged dad shite. Fuck off Curtis.

[bgmnts]

I'm aware of that, but it's by far the slightest story in a film hardly renowned for its depth.

Less is more.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

Nothing is nothing.

[Jerzy Bondov]

Sat here reading dialogue from Love Actually and doing these awful full body sighs that make me feel like my soul is leaking out.

Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir". Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. And now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.

Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck," and then we'd have been in real trouble.

Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was gonna fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!

ugggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Sat here reading dialogue from Love Actually and doing these awful full body sighs that make me feel like my soul is leaking out. ugggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh

Natalie: Aw, bollocks. Well, at least I haven't said "cunt" yet.

Prime Minister: I'd much prefer it if you got your actuall cunt out, Missus. Then I could shove my massive, throbbing Prime Minister's cock up it, and treat you like a black prozzie, even though you're quite fat , you fat cunt.

Watching Audience: Ooooh, bit much, this.

[Chollis]

"Piss it" doesn't sound right there

The only context I've seen that used is like "yeah that exam was well easy mate, pissed it" like "piece of piss"

Curtisland algorithm's thrown up a wonky one

[Jerzy Bondov]

It's 'funny English swearing' ho ho ho you'd think she'd be all repressed but she said piss.

Bill Nighy has some of this as well, he says: "Fuck wank bugger shitting arse head and hole!"

Very ribald

[Panbaams]

In the days before DVD extras – before DVDs, in fact – the Four Weddings and a Funeral script book had a few extra odds and sods: unused scenes, scripts for specially shot trailers, and so on. There was also the script for a scene that was used to audition the role of Charles (Hugh Grant's character). Chap goes up to a woman at a wedding reception complaining about the nibbles. She smiles politely. He asks what she does for a living. "Catering." Does she do weddings? "Yes." He wishes they'd asked her to do this one. "They did." Pause. He wishes she hadn't turned it down. "I didn't." Ah. It was introduced by Richard Curtis saying something along the lines of how it was fine for auditions, but it was never going to appear in the final film because it was a bit clunky and obvious, and nowhere near funny enough. And then he put it in Love Actually.