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Love Actually the film people watch at Christmas

Started by Dannyhood91, December 09, 2018, 07:42:03 AM

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DeadBishop

Save yourself the bother of ever watching a Richard Curtis film by watching this two minute Harry and Paul sketch instead.

Sebastian Cobb

If you hated the film then the Amazon Alexa advert that draws on it will make you want to go full Moaty.

'And Prosecco!!'

GRAVE.


Ferris

Quote from: Chollis on December 13, 2018, 12:13:50 PM
Or this two minute Monkey Dust sketch!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKSGdByaUIA

I think of this every time I see Hugh Grant in something.

"Oh, err, gosh, errr, Crikey, well, I err.."

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Hugh Grant was great as Jeremy Thorpe in Russell T. Davies' A Very English Scandal. Proper acting, none of his usual floppy, foppish business. I think he'll probably spend the rest of his career as a character actor, which is probably what he wanted to be in the first place. Sure, he cynically rode that "Gosh, well, crikey, aren't I just delightfully charming?" cash cow for years, but if you've ever watched or read an interview with the man, he appears to be genuinely ashamed of himself for wasting his talent.

Noodle Lizard

A bloke I knew in the year above at school saw this and decided that cue card bit would be the ideal way to ask out this girl he'd never met who worked the checkout line at Morrison's (I think).  Didn't see it with my own eyes, but he apparently went for it - turning up at her work with cue cards, boom box and everything, and performing his own version of the scene at her till.  This resulted in the girl bursting into tears and running away.  Evidently, he panicked, gathered his props, rushed out across the street and was immediately hit by a car.  Neck brace for the next month, and everyone at school knowing what had happened.

So at least some comedy came of this fucking awful film.  I suppose in many ways this bloke was a bit ahead of his time, since that would probably have made a viral "you won't BELIEVE what happened next" YouTube video had it been 10 years later.  But no, just another casualty.  Another statistic.

(Note: this is also the same fella who actually ran over the examiner on his fourth driving test)

jobotic

Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on December 13, 2018, 12:04:32 PM
It's 'funny English swearing' ho ho ho you'd think she'd be all repressed but she said piss.

Bill Nighy has some of this as well, he says: "Fuck wank bugger shitting arse head and hole!"

Very ribald

I can imagine that's how the fabulously wealthy swear.

bgmnts

Okay i'm rewatching this now, it is a good bit of bollocks isn't it? Why would your boss care about you fancying a colleague, even if you were on friendly terms?

shiftwork2

Great to see the cab reaction to this horrendous film, heartwarming stuff carry on please.

Jerzy Bondov

Quote from: bgmnts on December 13, 2018, 05:16:44 PM
Okay i'm rewatching this now, it is a good bit of bollocks isn't it? Why would your boss care about you fancying a colleague, even if you were on friendly terms?
Deeply unprofessional. Is there one man in this film who doesn't have a seriously unhealthy attitude towards women?

Over the song playing over the finale montage, I was singing, 'God only knows why I chose to watch this' over and over.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on December 13, 2018, 08:24:26 PM
Deeply unprofessional. Is there one man in this film who doesn't have a seriously unhealthy attitude towards women?

One has to wonder about Richard Curtis. He doubtless regards himself as a charmingly old-fashioned romantic, but his solo work suggests that he's a bit of a creep.

I still can't get over the fact that one of the running gags in the heartwarming romantic comedy Love, Actually is that Martine McCutcheon is fat. I mean, she isn't, obviously, but even if she was, what kind of message is that?!

bgmnts

Quote from: Ballad of Ballard Berkley on December 13, 2018, 09:05:41 PM
One has to wonder about Richard Curtis. He doubtless regards himself as a charmingly old-fashioned romantic, but his solo work suggests that he's a bit of a creep.

I still can't get over the fact that one of the running gags in the heartwarming romantic comedy Love, Actually is that Martine McCutcheon is fat. I mean, she isn't, obviously, but even if she was, what kind of message is that?!

And the Portuguese beauty's sister is fat too lol

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Quote from: Panbaams on December 13, 2018, 12:05:24 PM
In the days before DVD extras – before DVDs, in fact – the Four Weddings and a Funeral script book had a few extra odds and sods: unused scenes, scripts for specially shot trailers, and so on. There was also the script for a scene that was used to audition the role of Charles (Hugh Grant's character). Chap goes up to a woman at a wedding reception complaining about the nibbles. She smiles politely. He asks what she does for a living. "Catering." Does she do weddings? "Yes." He wishes they'd asked her to do this one. "They did." Pause. He wishes she hadn't turned it down. "I didn't." Ah. It was introduced by Richard Curtis saying something along the lines of how it was fine for auditions, but it was never going to appear in the final film because it was a bit clunky and obvious, and nowhere near funny enough. And then he put it in Love Actually.

Proof if proof be need be that Curtis once possessed a sharp and discerning comedy brain. Yes, he's written loads of unbearable shite in his time, but somewhere deep within that pampered ginger nut of his is the mind of a man who can recognise a hacky comic trope when he sees one. That mind is long gone, clearly, but The Tall Guy was funny and, for fuck's sake, he co-wrote Blackadder. He wrote Rowan Atkinson's stage material too, which was great and doesn't contain a trace of the cloying, creepy drivel one associates with Curtis these days.

What happened? He grew prematurely old and complacent, I guess. He shone briefly, brightly, then fell to earth. A tragedy for the ages.

Vincent and the Doctor was wonderful, though. Fair's fair.

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Quote from: bgmnts on December 13, 2018, 09:09:38 PM
And the Portuguese beauty's sister is fat too lol

I hope Richard Curtis becomes morbidly obese and, with the world's media capturing every undignified moment, has to be airlifted from his Hampstead homestead.

Dannyhood91

Quote from: shiftwork2 on December 13, 2018, 08:12:46 PM
Great to see the cab reaction to this horrendous film, heartwarming stuff carry on please.

I know. I forgot I started this thread.

Everyone who commented gets a blowjob.

famethrowa

Quote from: DeadBishop on December 13, 2018, 12:09:42 PM
Save yourself the bother of ever watching a Richard Curtis film by watching this two minute Harry and Paul sketch instead.

Who was Whitehouse supposed to be at the end?

Ballad of Ballard Berkley

Quote from: famethrowa on December 13, 2018, 11:09:06 PM
Who was Whitehouse supposed to be at the end?

Rhys Ifans from Notting Hill. He plays Hugh Grant's wacky housemate.

Ron Superior

Ugh. I just remembered the bit when Stacey finally kisses Tim From The Office and then says "all I want for Christmas is you!" Why did she say that? What the fuck is that?

famethrowa


Sebastian Cobb

I was going to say the worst one I've seen is An Education but it turns out that one's by Nick Hornby.

It's still a whimsical charming tale about a teenager who shacks up with a borderline nonce as an alternative to letting her overbearing father continue to live his dream of being an academic through her though.

Ferris

Quote from: Dannyhood91 on December 13, 2018, 10:46:55 PM
I know. I forgot I started this thread.

Everyone who commented gets a blowjob.

Cheers mate.

Noodle Lizard

Imagine actually being Richard Curtis, though.  Never stepping foot in a kitchen without an island and fairy lights for the rest of your life.  Salad in a wooden bowl.

Occasionally he must want some fish fingers.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Noodle Lizard on December 13, 2018, 02:17:47 PM
A bloke I knew in the year above at school saw this and decided that cue card bit would be the ideal way to ask out this girl he'd never met who worked the checkout line at Morrison's (I think).  Didn't see it with my own eyes, but he apparently went for it - turning up at her work with cue cards, boom box and everything, and performing his own version of the scene at her till.  This resulted in the girl bursting into tears and running away.  Evidently, he panicked, gathered his props, rushed out across the street and was immediately hit by a car.  Neck brace for the next month, and everyone at school knowing what had happened.

So at least some comedy came of this fucking awful film.  I suppose in many ways this bloke was a bit ahead of his time, since that would probably have made a viral "you won't BELIEVE what happened next" YouTube video had it been 10 years later.  But no, just another casualty.  Another statistic.



(Note: this is also the same fella who actually ran over the examiner on his fourth driving test)

Is everyone on the entire forum going to join me in saying what a FUCKING BRILLIANT post this is?

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Ballad of Ballard Berkley on December 13, 2018, 11:22:17 PM
Rhys Ifans from Notting Hill. He plays Hugh Grant's wacky housemate.

The worst character to ever grace the big screen and ive not even seen the rot of a film

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: BlodwynPig on December 14, 2018, 07:58:18 AM
The worst character to ever grace the big screen and ive not even seen the rot of a film

Omid Djalili gives an amazing performance in this film.

BlodwynPig

Quote from: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on December 14, 2018, 08:02:44 AM
Omid Djalili gives an amazing performance in this film.

A name entwined with the downfall of comedy.

Shit Good Nose

Quote from: Noodle Lizard on December 14, 2018, 03:08:31 AM
Imagine actually being Richard Curtis, though.  Never stepping foot in a kitchen without an island and fairy lights for the rest of your life.  Salad in a wooden bowl.

Ha.  You know it's true, as well.

Twed

Jesus fuck, it's not Richard Curtis but I just remembered that Maybe Baby exists, a movie where the relatable main character is struggling with his dead-end job as commissioning editor of drama at the BBC. And just the fucking title. Argh.