How many crocs-branded polyurethane shoes could you eat

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How many crocs-branded polyurethane shoes do you reckon you could you eat in three hours?

[Dex Sawash]

All of them?

[Glebe]

Two.

[Replies From View]

I have started a poll because the responses are becoming a bit unwieldy.

[Ferris]

0

[PlanktonSideburns]

None I think.

[BlodwynPig]

*mook returns to forum, famished*

[Dex Sawash]

Less than fewer

[Noonling]

Human teeth have not yet evolved to eat crocs-branded polyurethane shoes. So currently I'd say less than one - I might managed to tear of and chew down one bite, with a lot of effort, but no more.

However, if this is something you wish for humans to do going forward we will need to make an action plan. I propose selective breeding of humans with superior teeth, ignoring all other attributes. Start training children on croc-eating early on (alongside Heinz Sunrise Banana Baby Porridge), separate the good ones into croc-eating schools, and give monetary rewards to parents who encourage croc-eating behaviour. Give incentives to businesses that employ croc-eaters, have a mark on the medical record for croc-eaters so paramedics know to prioritise them. After a few generations you might get people who can eat several crocs in one sitting. You might not, but the selective breeding would have been fun and educational anyway.