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How do you become a freelance hitman?

Started by Noonling, December 09, 2018, 09:17:58 PM

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Noonling

I feel like a lot of hitmen (and hitwomen...hit officers?) already have ties to gangs or a secret service - I am basing this assumption entirely on TV shows and films.

But how do you just become a common or garden freelance hitman? What conversation leads to getting someone to pay you to kill their spouse? Or is it all on the Dark Web now with dogecoins or somesuch? How do you even become a master hitman when each time you practice its super risky?

Blue Jam

Buy a gun and register as a sole trader, man.

MuteBanana

I was reading a book a while back where a man was looking to hire a hitman. It was probably set in the 80s or 90s. It explained that these hitmen would advertise themselves in military magazines.  Subtly obviously.

cliggg

Maybe put a bucket on the ground like buskers do then kill someone's wife in front of her husband & see if he throws money in? If it works you've got yourself a business.

Buelligan

Quote from: MuteBanana on December 09, 2018, 09:27:08 PM
I was reading a book a while back where a man was looking to hire a hitman. It was probably set in the 80s or 90s. It explained that these hitmen would advertise themselves in military magazines.  Subtly obviously.

FREE KITTENS TO GOOD HOME
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Ask for Léon.


biggytitbo

It helps to be bald.


The real secret though is to start off doing it as.a hobby, do it for the love of it until you have honed your skills to the point where you can charge money for it. But even then, the key to success is to enjoy your work.

Sorry Monkeys

#7
What are the main skills needed to become a hitman?

1) you need to be able to kill a person, and
2) you need to not get caught

both of these can be practised. Helps if you're a methodical psychopath with compulsive attention to detail.



Blue Jam


Depressed Beyond Tables


Mister Six

Just don't forget to file your taxes. HMRC will come knocking eventually.

Icehaven

I think in Grosse Point Blank he was headhunted (appropriately). He was in the army and was picked out for having a certain moral ambiguity or something like that. So join the military and hope your lack of humanity is spotted by your superiors.

Pijlstaart

It's like every job these days, entry-level positions expect experience. Need a portfolio of your work, multiple pieces, elaborations on a theme, demonstrate competence with various styles. Very much about who you know as well, there'll be some real hitman savants working the tills at ASDA and we'll never know because the system doesn't fairly reward talent. At the premium end of the market, technical expertise is increasingly devalued and attention-grabbing talking-point pieces dominate the scene.

im barry bethel

Quote from: Blue Jam on December 09, 2018, 09:24:00 PM
Buy a gun and register as a sole trader, man.

The successful ones don't hang on to the VAT receipts

Buelligan


Sin Agog

I don't know why you'd want to be a freelancer.  No medical insurance, pension plan or job security.  Join an official agency instead, like the British army.

Brundle-Fly

Bump into a psychopathic stranger on the train in a similar situation as you.

Sherman Krank

Quote from: Sin Agog on December 10, 2018, 11:09:51 AM
I don't know why you'd want to be a freelancer.  No medical insurance, pension plan or job security.  Join an official agency instead, like the British army.
Better to join the US army or literally any other army.
Under this Tory government British army hit men  persons have to supply their own sniper rifles, I've heard that even getting a bit of piano wire off them can take months.

Norton Canes

Quote from: Blue Jam on December 09, 2018, 09:24:00 PM
Buy a gun and register as a sole trader, man


Soul trader

(is a description of what you would be like)