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Do you have a no shoes policy?

Started by Emma Raducanu, December 10, 2018, 09:55:03 AM

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Emma Raducanu

I couldn't give a shit if people wear shoes in my house. I've never told anyone to take them off. I have wooden floors and they're lovely to clean. Come to my house and keep your shoes on.

But everyone who's house I go to, we've always got to take our shoes off like it's a strict policy. Fucking baffles me. Maybe it's because these days I'm in borish middle class dinner party company but I miss just turning up at a mates and putting my shoes up on his living room table.

Dr Trouser

Trod in dog shit -shoes off
Not trod in dog shit - come in

dandoystevski


Sin Agog

I was once staying at these germ freak relatives who were so stringent they made me take off my socks because they'd touched the ground of the changing room at the swimming pool. That night I had a dream about the very first amphibian crawling out of stewy water onto virgin soil and being told he'd have to go back in unless he took his shoes off.

biggytitbo

I have a no solids in the downstairs toilet policy.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Whenever I go round to someone's house, and someone tells me to take my shoes off, I always impersonate my shoes in a satirical manner. Then I tell them to fuck off ( the other person, not my shoes ).
Whenever someone comes round to my place ( which, admittedly doesn't happen very often), I always insist that they put on * another * pair of shoes on top of their own shoes( I have several pairs of auxiliary shoes for this very situation ).
So, you can see how strongly I feel about this issue.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: DolphinFace on December 10, 2018, 09:55:03 AM
I couldn't give a shit if people wear shoes in my house. I've never told anyone to take them off. I have wooden floors and they're lovely to clean. Come to my house and keep your shoes on.

But everyone who's house I go to, we've always got to take our shoes off like it's a strict policy. Fucking baffles me. Maybe it's because these days I'm in borish middle class dinner party company but I miss just turning up at a mates and putting my shoes up on his living room table.

Those were the days. Feet on the coffee table next to an Ash tray complete with toenails in it. Great days.

NoSleep

Fucking wooden floors. Anyone with wooden floors clearly hates conversation or music as they give any room the acoustics of a swimming pool. Carpets are required in homes for this reason and they should be the hue of vomit, dogshit, mud and red wine (definitely not white) to accommodate visitors' shoes and habits.

We have a strict no shoes policy, my wife is Finnish and they have a nationwide culture of no shoes inside the house (as do other Nordic countries I think). If you've ever wandered around somewhere like Helsinki in the winter you'd understand why though as they grit the paths and it would fuck up floors in a heartbeat if you traipse it inside.

NoSleep

Your dwelling should be enslaved to you, not the other way round.

im barry bethel

Definitely shoes off at the porch door so I can see which ones knowing wear socks with holes in them

checkoutgirl

Quote from: biggytitbo on December 10, 2018, 10:09:43 AM
I have a no solids in the downstairs toilet policy.

You have a toilet on two separate floors? La-di-da!!

Pingers

I keep the spirit of the 90s alive by operating a 'no trainers' policy and pumping out handbag House.

Sin Agog

Quote from: NoSleep on December 10, 2018, 11:29:21 AM
Your dwelling should be enslaved to you, not the other way round.

You say that, but my home only laughs in my face when I tell it to go and pick me a bale of cotton.

checkoutgirl

I used to by incense off a couple of Pakistani Muslims in Inchicore. One of the rules before entering their quite squalid flat was to remove your shoes. Why? Because they kneel on the floor to do their Islamic gubbins. It would have made sense if their floor wasn't filthier than a tramp's jockstrap after victory at the world mud'n'turds wrestling championship.

I'm not anal or bossy enough to make people take their shoes off in the flat but when I get home I step out of my runners (trainers) at the door and into my indoor slippers. When I leave I do the same in reverse.

Outdoor shoes have to be presumed contaminated with canine leavings. Indoor slippers less so.

NoSleep

Quote from: Sin Agog on December 10, 2018, 11:35:21 AM
You say that, but my home only laughs in my face when I tell it to go and pick me a bale of cotton.

That's because there's no such thing as a cotton bale tree.

Norton Canes

I'll let people wear any footwear that co-ordinates with the carpet.

jobotic

Not in them fuckin' shoes mate. Do one.

Dex Sawash

Quote from: Norton Canes on December 10, 2018, 12:15:40 PM
I'll let people wear any footwear that co-ordinates with the carpet.

Nobody has pubes anymore, grandad

shiftwork2

Cream carpets.  I do not want your mud and dogshit so get 'em off.  Having said that I am very laid back about it.

kngen

A useful lesson in shoe etiquette:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NewqTCakQ3Q

Personally, I don't have a problem with it - actually, I quite like the informality it fosters - but it's a pain when you have holes in your socks, which I often do.

Captain Z

You're missing out on a whole world of underfeet sensations if you keep your shoes on. People tell me I'm too polite removing my shoes immediately upon entry to their house when in reality I just can't wait to feel the unchartered carpet between my toes. Socks or barefoot only in my house, occasionally slippers. All fixtures and fittings below knee-height manipulated by foot, a skill that has attracted a mixture of reverence and disgust.

SteveDave

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on December 10, 2018, 10:57:52 AM
Those were the days. Feet on the coffee table next to an Ash tray complete with toenails in it. Great days.

This post has reminded me that I really need to cut my toenails. Thanks.

Icehaven

I'm fairly sure the soles of most people's shoes are cleaner than my carpet so advise visitors to keep them on for their own health and comfort. Also I HATE feet and don't want to even see their outline if I can help it.

I totally understand why a lot of people want shoes off in their houses but my heart still sinks when I'm asked to do it, it makes me feel vulnerable, particularly if they have dogs or children (which would already have me feeling uncomfortable enough) cos then there's all manner of shit (literal and figurative) to stand on. It's even worse if I don't know them well or haven't been there before because then there I am, a virtual stranger, standing in their house in my socks like I fucking own the place, might as well put my feet up on their sofa and demand they get me a drink. Being a standoffish twat I don't take being told to 'make yourself at home' very well at the best of times, so getting partially undressed is just, no.

im barry bethel

Quote from: checkoutgirl on December 10, 2018, 11:31:43 AM
You have a toilet on two separate floors? La-di-da!!

Pretty standard for council/local authority houses to have a downstairs lav, usually right by the front door too

Quote from: shiftwork2 on December 10, 2018, 12:29:21 PM
Cream carpets. 

Now that's la-di-da

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: checkoutgirl on December 10, 2018, 11:38:44 AM
Outdoor shoes have to be presumed contaminated with canine leavings. Indoor slippers less so.

I once trod in my neighbour's dog shit while wearing my moccasin slippers when I nipped out to fetch some washing off the line, and I agree, the experience was more disheartening than standing in dog shit in shoes.

Straight in the washing machine, you'd be there all day trying to pick the dirt out of that fine zig-zag tread slippers have.

nedthemumbler

Being realistic about it, everyone's carpets are full of germs.  Even if you haven't got a clump of visible shit on your shoe, those microbes will be all over the floor.

My dog smushes her face in all sorts of rotten, but she's still allowed in.

Squink

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on December 10, 2018, 06:09:39 PMStraight in the washing machine, you'd be there all day trying to pick the dirt out of that fine zig-zag tread slippers have.

What happens to dog shit in a washing machine though? Is it dispersed rapidly around everything else that's in there and then you just hope to buggery that yer Persil washes it all the fuck away?


a duncandisorderly

yeah, but only because I have bare floors & some consideration for the blokes who live downstairs. I don't enforce it on visitors.