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Doing a ‘favour’ for a gay friend

Started by Default to the negative, December 10, 2018, 05:44:06 PM

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We've all been there, haven't we? When you sleep over at the gay friend's house and he lies and pretends that the good duvets and sleeping-bags are all in the wash just now, so we'll have to share one scrubby blanket, next to each other.

Even though the room is quite big and he could just as well sleep 10 or 15 feet away. No, it has to be right next to you and under the same sheet for some fucking reason.

Then he is tickling under the blanket and it's all very 'silly' and 'cheeky', yes it's all such fun. Eventually you get tired of his advances and you put an end to it by cocooning yourself in the sheet, because you only want a good night's sleep and a bit of peace. But you sleep in distress, knowing that he is probably going to wank on you in your sleep.

Who is the winner, and who is the loser, in this situation? If I was a woman, I'd call this harassment. I won't go that far, but I am still annoyed.

Noonling

Quote from: Default to the negative on December 10, 2018, 05:44:06 PM
If I was a woman, I'd call this harassment. I won't go that far

Why not? If this is a real situation then I'd totes call it harassment if you've made your boundaries clear, regardless of gender.

I am very touchy-feely with some friends, but only if I believe they would be comfortable telling me if I crossed a line. If they come across as the type who would be quietly distressed I barely even hug them.

oooft

I couldn't say who's the winner or loser here as i've never been in that situation.

imitationleather

Quote from: Default to the negative on December 10, 2018, 05:44:06 PM
We've all been there, haven't we? When you sleep over at the gay friend's house and he lies and pretends that the good duvets and sleeping-bags are all in the wash just now, so we'll have to share one scrubby blanket, next to each other.

Even though the room is quite big and he could just as well sleep 10 or 15 feet away. No, it has to be right next to you and under the same sheet for some fucking reason.

Then he is tickling under the blanket and it's all very 'silly' and 'cheeky', yes it's all such fun. Eventually you get tired of his advances and you put an end to it by cocooning yourself in the sheet, because you only want a good night's sleep and a bit of peace. But you sleep in distress, knowing that he is probably going to wank on you in your sleep.

Who is the winner, and who is the loser, in this situation? If I was a woman, I'd call this harassment. I won't go that far, but I am still annoyed.

I hope he had the good manners to get you drunk first.

Thursday

What the fuck are you talking about? No this is not a universal experience.

Cuellar

Quote from: Noonling on December 10, 2018, 05:54:26 PM
Why not? If this is a real situation then I'd totes call it harassment if you've made your boundaries clear, regardless of gender.

Because he's gagging for it really, the little tease. I'm not saying everyone in this situation is ALWAYS gagging for it. Just him, now.

Lemming


bgmnts

Quote from: Default to the negative on December 10, 2018, 05:44:06 PM
good duvets and sleeping-bags are all in the wash just now, so we'll have to share one scrubby blanket, next to each other.

Made me laugh.

Thursday

I don't want to victim blame here, because it does actually sound like you've been harassed, but you've made yourself unsympathetic by turning this into a thread about how "those gay's don't have any boundaries do they!!!"

Cuellar

I think this might one of them humorous things the occasionally pop up round here.

Lemming

Hello men reading this I will respect your boundaries ;)

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Cuellar on December 10, 2018, 06:11:11 PM
I think this might one of them humorous things the occasionally pop up round here.

It's always a gamble posting threads outside HS Art.

Thursday

Quote from: Cuellar on December 10, 2018, 06:11:11 PM
I think this might one of them humorous things the occasionally pop up round here.

It can't be a joke because I didnt laugh.

Cuellar

Quote from: Lemming on December 10, 2018, 06:13:16 PM
Hello men reading this I will respect your boundaries ;)

Hmmm.....well ok then

Janie Jones

Quote from: Cuellar on December 10, 2018, 06:11:11 PM
I think this might one of them humorous things the occasionally pop up round here.

You're right, although 'humorous' is not the word I'd use. Here's another example

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,61856.0.html

Glebe

[tag]Legend Gary enters thread, not gay just "curious".[/tag]

Captain Z

What exactly was the 'favour' you were doing him here?


Replies From View

Quote from: Captain Z on December 10, 2018, 07:07:13 PM
What exactly was the 'favour' you were doing him here?

Giving him his closet-warm body on a floorboard.

pancreas

Quote from: Janie Jones on December 10, 2018, 06:16:23 PM
You're right, although 'humorous' is not the word I'd use. Here's another example

https://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php/topic,61856.0.html

There's even another example of this very thread.

I'd like to like it, I really would, but ... mmmm ... just not doing it for me.

a duncandisorderly


Noonling

I'd go
6/10
4/10
2/10

Also the order of how I'd rank the appropriateness of kissing a friend, giving a handy to a friend, and felching a friend.

royce coolidge

Read Paul Daniels autobiography for hints and tips.

Uncle TechTip

I thought you were going to say you were asked to get your friend pregnant.

Replies From View

Quote from: Uncle TechTip on December 11, 2018, 01:09:46 AM
I thought you were going to say you were asked to get your friend pregnant.

Is this the subtext of "I cannae be homophübe owing to my landscape of gay friends back there"?  It makes sense to think they are liberating their spermatozoa.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Maybe you just have a really nice bottom. You know what the gayers are like for bottoms. Can't get enough of botoms, so they can't.

You realy need to send a picture of your bottom, if this discussion is to be furthered.

dex


Cloud

#27
No, this sounds more like harassment on his part (but with respect, also a bit of homophobia on yours - not in finding it unwelcome that's perfectly understandable, but in assuming it's just what gays do and framing it like "them gays, can't be alone with them or they could rape you at a moment's notice") than a familiar situation to me.  Basically from what I can gather it's the kind of engineered situation and unwelcome advances that women put up with from straight men quite a bit which is why an increasing number of them are saying "enough is enough" these days and calling it out.

Not to victim blame, he sounds completely inept at reading body language and shouldn't be touching anyone unless it's blindingly obvious they enjoy and welcome it and they're reciprocating etc, but in case he's a bit autistic or something have you tried spelling it out?  Something like "Whoa hang on did you engineer this?  I'm not interested/gay {delete as applicable}, can you stop that please" ought to get the message across in a way that makes what follows a more clear cut harassment vs. boundary-respecting case.  Perhaps he'd even "find" that other sleeping bag.  I'm not one of these who thinks you should need to sign a consent form to tickle someone under the blanket, but all civilised people are at least in agreement that "no" means "no" and that if you tell someone you're not interested they should leave you alone, so I'd start with that.

Quote from: Cuellar on December 10, 2018, 06:11:11 PM
I think this might one of them humorous things the occasionally pop up round here.

No idea... thing with general discussion on a comedy forum is Poe's Law gets involved a lot... if it's a joke it's a bit shit?  He sounds genuinely annoyed to me.

Edit 2: Meh I'll leave it

pancreas

Pretty sure the whole thing's made up or exaggerated beyond a hint of reason. Such a thread might be worth a punt if it hadn't already been done before by the same poster.

Sebastian Cobb

I'd help do walls and gloss, but I draw the line at artex.