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Annual Office Christmas Party Thread

Started by Lisa Jesusandmarychain, December 11, 2018, 06:38:30 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Our organization's Crimbo party was on Sunday. I didn't go, due to thinking that the vast majority of the people I work with are a pack of cunts.
Not the best of office party anecdotes, admittedly.
Nonetheless, post your. Office Crimbo party stories here.

biggytitbo

I don't go because I hate Christmas, parties and almost everyone from the office.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain


Flouncer

I don't go because I don't work in an office (or have a job).

Neville Chamberlain


Camp Tramp

My work Xmas party is in the middle of nowhere. I'd have to board a coach to get there and back.
I like leaving places when I want to. Most of the attendees are either unknown to me or idiots.

Obviously I'm not going.

PlanktonSideburns

We don't have an office Xmas party, as

'Half the people I'm here won't be let into anywhere in town, cos they look like fucking homeless paedos. They'd take one sniff of dave and toss him out like a rugby ball'

My supervisors words, not mine. He's not wrong tho.

biggytitbo

"Nothing is so enjoyable that you wouldn't rather it be cancelled".

Icehaven

I'll be having an uproarious time at Spoons then probably Pizza Express next Thursday with a whopping two colleagues (well one current and one former as she resigned two weeks ago and is staying off sick for the rest of her notice.) I've never worked anywhere that's had a 'traditional' Christmas office party, which is largely fine as they sound awful but I still feel a bit as if it's something everyone should experience at least once, like eating insects or going to a nudey beach.

Attila

Quote from: biggytitbo on December 11, 2018, 06:46:57 AM
I don't go because I hate Christmas, parties and almost everyone from the office.

On the other hand, I *like* Christmas, because I avoid parties and everyone with whom I work. And to whom I am related.

king_tubby

Going out for a steak lunch on Friday with my current lot and then one of those Brazilian meat palaces next week with my old team.

Basically, Christmas = BEEF.

checkoutgirl

I avoided mine by being in Milan which is not where the Christmas party was.

seepage

I miss the ones in a locked room that could be sluiced down once we were done.

Paul Calf

[tag]

* Paul Calf photocopies arse and posts it in HS Art

[/tag]

pancreas

I've been convinced to go to the student organised ball since the department pays for it. Fuck am I thinking—didn't want to leave other people to have to do it alone. Plus there's the staff dinner. I'll try to get on a good table with Gecko, I suppose.

dex

Had ours at a Toby carvery in November to save paying over the odds for exactly the same food in December. Didn't bring a 12" plate though.

Icehaven

Quote from: dex on December 11, 2018, 08:59:53 AM
Had ours at a Toby carvery in November to save paying over the odds for exactly the same food in December.

Somewhere I worked ages ago did similar, had the 'Christmas' meal in January when everyone was even more skint than they were in December and we probably saved less than £5 each.

biggytitbo

Having your Christmas do in January is like continuing to watch the porn after you have ejaculated.

thenoise

Boss hates Christmas so we have a company 'anniversary' meal at the end of November. It was moderately enjoyable, although I vomited quite violently between main and pudding (in the toilet, I'm not an animal).

biggytitbo

Quote from: thenoise on December 11, 2018, 09:25:49 AM
Boss hates Christmas so we have a company 'anniversary' meal at the end of November. It was moderately enjoyable, although I vomited quite violently between main and pudding (in the toilet, I'm not an animal).


I bet you felt amazing after the vomiting though.

kittens

no party this year. last year i didn't go and my excuse was 'i will be playing videogames with my friends'

Mine was on Saturday. Woke up with a stinking cold on Friday which reached it's peak on Saturday night just after dessert so I went home early with a fever.

No taxis available (literally every company's phone line engaged) so I had to get an Uber which was disappointingly brilliant as the gig economy is not something I want to support. Turned up in three minutes, journey pre-paid with a credit card. They were surge charging but it cost about the same as a "real" taxi would of a Saturday night.

That's how they get you isn't it? An Uber here, a Deliveroo there. Next thing you know, you're Vince fucking Cable.

Norton Canes

We've got two, faculty and department. Ducked out of department already. Frankly, the fact that there are cunts I work with going to the faculty one is the only thing making me want to attened.

Cloud

There isn't an "official" one this year.  Historically they were really generous and fun, in the past we've had some great ones, hire out a whole pub, free booze all night, massive buffet etc.  They'd also often throw "team building" kind of parties in the middle of summer.  Then a few years ago a bit of a sales slump = fuck all.  Year after they did this little "party" in the canteen at lunchtime (the little party hats and poundland crackers are soul crushing when you're sober IMO).  Last year they were feeling especially generous so hired out one floor of a pub with a bit of a buffet and gave you a tenner for drinks.  This year, some of the biggest sales orders the company has seen, massive projects won... back to the lunchtime canteen buffet.  Cheapskates!  (Yeah I'm an ungrateful bastard, I miss the big parties and free booze!)

There is an independently organised piss-up just touring around town, which I'll most likely avoid, because basically aside from my local which is on the outskirts of town I hate pubs at this time of year.  Crowded and noisy, and people pushing in front of you at the bar, no thanks

Blue Jam

Had the first of ours last week. I had been looking forward to it because I actually like my colleagues and we always go for dinner at a certain pub that does really great food in generous portions. This year however they'd really skimped on everything- the portions had shrunk, the soup was watered-down and the desserts were all obviously bought-in. I was a semi-regular at that place but that experience put me off going back. Didn't go for drinks afterwards as a lot of my colleagues drink like fuck and I'm a massive lightweight. The next day half of my colleagues didn't show up to werk and I was informed that the drinking went on until 2.30am. Erk.

Got a second Christmas do later in the week- pub quiz and one of those buffets where everyone brings a dish, so I'll be making some bread for that.

Got yet another one on Friday which is £15 "all you can drink Prosecco" and I'm going to sack that one off because it sounds lethal. Also sacking off the Christmas ceilidh and the charity Christmas ball... We had five separate dos last year as well, I don't know who has the energy for them all.

shiftwork2

Werk do next Thursday, which is almost Christmas.  I'm looking forward to it as my current werkplace is free from the ground-in shit that characterised all of my previous jobs.  A little meal in a pub then those who feel like it can go drinking in the jewel of the M4 corridor.

By the way, who gets a free Christmas do?  Never been on such a thing.  I've heard tales though.  A car firm very close to where I live does a ball with a five course dinner and seemingly endless champagne, the program for the evening mentioning 'carriages at one'.

bgmnts

Can't be arsed to start a new thread for this so i'll ask here.

Is anyone feeling any Christmas spirit? I've found it tougher and tougher the older i've gotten. This year it's just dour.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: bgmnts on December 11, 2018, 11:03:58 AM
Can't be arsed to start a new thread for this so i'll ask here.

Is anyone feeling any Christmas spirit? I've found it tougher and tougher the older i've gotten. This year it's just dour.

I've started a new thread for you, you lazy cunt.

Sebastian Cobb

I'll go for the team lunch as it means I get to fuck off around midday, I don't actively dislike my colleagues, and will go drinking afterwards, but will probably leave around teatime before I get proper smashed.

I'd rather shit in my hands then clap than go to a cross-department one.

gilbertharding

Our work xmas do is this Friday. We - that is our office and the other two offices which make up our company - will meet in a club in that London and have a meal and drinks in the afternoon, before fragmenting into smaller groups and finding things to do with the late afternoon and evening (weather dependent, but definitely drink related). Everything except the train fare and whatever we end up doing after is paid for by the company, which is generous.

I've worked in the public sector, where obviously you have to pay your own way, but whenever I've worked for an actual company there's been a proper laid-on do of some sort, often for partners as well.

I am in the construction industry.