Thread In Which The Concept Of Starfish Envy Is Proposed

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Inspired by that Propellorheads video with Shirley Bassey in it ( before she went mad ).
I'll kick things off : don't you envy starfish? Just lying there on the ocean bed, not having to worry about anything at all. Such peaceful, tranquil creatures. I suppose I should just be happy that I'm sharing the same planet as these untroubled souls.

[Noonling]

Chengcheng Ji and Liang Wu from the China Agricultural University have found that starfish have hidden bilateral tendencies, which reveal themselves under times of stress.

The duo studied over a thousand starfish, and exposed them to various challenges to see how they would react. First, they dropped the animals in a new tank of water, waited for them to crawl away, and noted which arms they led with. Next, they turned the animals over. An upside-down starfish pushes two arms against the ground for support and stamps down with the opposite one to flip itself back up. Ji and Wu recorded which arms they led with. Finally, they put the starfish in a shallow tank and dropped an irritating liquid on their backs. Again, as the animals fled, Ji and Wu noted the arms that led the way.

Bet those starfish weren't at all peaceful with those sadists dropping "irritating liquids" on them. I don't envy them one bit.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Starfish Sadism ! Oh, My! Those degenerates satisfying their horrid urges in the name of science were probably filming all this stuff, too ! Starfish Snuff Films ! That's what I'd call a band if I had one! I Really, Really Want To Have A Go On Jodie Comer ( Or At Least A Russian Lass Who Really Looks Loads Like Her ) ! That's what I'm calling my autobiography, if I write one ! And my heart's running round like a chicken with its head cut off! And yesterday, we had liver and sausage. Over.

[Noonling]

Starfish Sadism ! Oh, My! Those degenerates satisfying their horrid urges in the name of science were probably filming all this stuff, too ! Starfish Snuff Films ! That's what I'd call a band if I had one! I Really, Really Want To Have A Go On Jodie Comer ( Or At Least A Russian Lass Who Really Looks Loads Like Her ) ! That's what I'm calling my autobiography, if I write one ! And my heart's running round like a chicken with its head cut off! And yesterday, we had liver and sausage. Over.

I don't think you'd make a very good spy. If you got caught all they'd have to say is that Jodie Comer (or a lookalike) is in the next room wet and willing and you'd spill all the state secrets, even if you were 99% sure they were lying.

Wouldn't you?

[a duncandisorderly]

where is barry admin?

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

No need for Barry Admin to get involved.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

Even if they just said " Ackshirley, she's just got a passing resemblance to Tallulah Riley, and is only mildly moist", yeah, those state secrets would probably come tumbling out at the rate of Steve Rhea' s tummycontents in that scene in " The Crying Game ". Fair Play to yer, Drummers, quite the shrewd judge of character, so you are .

[Noonling]

I'm not drummers, I'm Jodie Comer, and I'm disappointed in you. All it would take is Tallulah Riley?!

[drummersaredeaf]

I'm Jodie Comer and I'm really hornet.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I don't envy them tbh
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/science/scientists-zero-whats-causing-starfish-die-offs

[Dex Sawash]

I too wish I could goatse