What was the best thing to happen to you personally in 2018?

[Small Man Big Horse]

finished shooting and editing a dumb hour long movie and showed it to my friends

And you haven't posted a link? Are we not your friends Kittens, you now probably evil monster?

had a moustache

The only way that's a good thing is if you've now shaved it off.

Somebody left 4p in change in the self service checkout machine I went to last month, which wasn't the one I normally go to.

Someone left a fiver and a bunch of coins in one I used last month, as I walked away someone shouted "You've forgotten your change" and like a real fool I replied "Oh, that's not mine, I used my card". And then cursed my honesty for the rest of the day.

Just remembered another good thing: I lied to Nestle about their not being any strawberry creams in a box of quality street and they sent me a £5 voucher. So that's my Aunt's christmas present sorted.

[Noonling]

Hm... A lot of this year has been nothingness, just me sitting in my room alone playing too many games, but while no one thing stands out there has been a few highlights:

• Getting closer with a bunch of old friends, seeing them more and just snuggling up to them generally.
• Pokemon Go helped me to leave the house
• I did karaoke for the first time, while on holiday with a friend... We spent most of the holiday sleeping and moping, but there were some nice moments
• Getting handed a job without having to apply or interview for it.
• Gaining back some confidence and peace in the second half of the year
• I didn't write as much as I'd like, but I did write more than last year, and its writing I'm not ashamed of.
• I'm looking forward to spending Christmas with my friend and her family

[Blue Jam]

Bit of a meh year here:

Started a new job in November 2017 and it has turned out to be much nicer than the old job which ended up giving me anxiety. It's been a major step up in terms of the work though, with the added pressure of techbro backing and having to keep the investors happy. While I'm proud of what we've achieved I've ended the year feeling pretty drained and I'm glad I saved up my annual leave for a big long break in December. When I took the job I also had to take a bit of a pay cut, and along with being in a new flat with higher rent, I've been struggling with money a bit more than usual and have had to get better at budgeting. I'm due a new contract and a pay rise next year and it can't come soon enough.

I also went on my first holiday as a proper grown-up where I really didn't like the destination- Malta- but even then our daytrip to the unspoiled northern island of Gozo was pretty magical, and the food, wine and local beers were generally pretty great. I also have to admit that I've been very lucky to have had mostly good holidays, and I'm lucky I can afford holidays at all.

Acquired a new nephew and he's great, and I got to spend some more time with Mr Jam's nice normal family. Really looking forward to Christmas with them and catching up with a few friends I don't get to see often enough.

[Chairman Bodog]

My preggy script has got me keeping my chin up and looking forward even if my feet catch me. Not to mention the holding cell dosage of prozac in my blood trying to stabilise. I've been flirting with Luciferian glyphs and grimoires and the Key of Solomon. I'm on the left hand path and I'm rolling. Kept dry from the usual piss sodden necking. Two drinks in over a month now. I'll probably need a t-boost in a couple moons so I can wreck fast on chrimbo. Got a gogh bottle of thujones to wash after turkey.

[Dex Sawash]

Think i've met girl of my dreams.

You really should do that every year even if you have to recycle one from an earlier time.

[QDRPHNC]

Could I just echo and empathise with thatMichaelDouglascunt and Howj's BPD observations?  When I finally bucked mine off, I felt euphoric for about eighteen months and then I realised I just felt normal but it was such a huge relief, I thought I was in paradise.  I now avoid humans, just to be on the safe side.

Knowing you've been through that makes me understand you a bit better, Buelligan. Especially the gratitude part of it. Every morning I am deeply and genuinely grateful to be sitting alone at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and the radio on. And thanks for the nice thoughts, Howj and SMBH.

[Harry Badger]

- Won an award for cricket (most improved player at my club in 2018) and was voted in 2nd place as clubman of the year by my teammates.
- Did my first ever festival DJ slot and was on before Craig Charles (who showed up disgustingly intoxicated)
- Ended an unsatisfactory relationship on mutual terms with no aggro or heartbreak.
- Painted each of my bannister rails a different colour.
- Acquired permanent contract and new post at work.
- Hung out a couple of times with Norman J Warren

I have had many worse years than this.

[Bobloblawslawbomb]

I had a fucking amazing jam sandwich the other week.

The birth of my daughter was pretty good, but hoo boy, I love a jam sandwich.

[Ferris]

Knowing you've been through that makes me understand you a bit better, Buelligan. Especially the gratitude part of it. Every morning I am deeply and genuinely grateful to be sitting alone at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and the radio on. And thanks for the nice thoughts, Howj and SMBH.

Spied you on Yonge street this morning btw QDRPHNC - by the time I realized, we were both striding confidently in the opposite direction. Small world!

[QDRPHNC]

Spied you on Yonge street this morning btw QDRPHNC - by the time I realized, we were both striding confidently in the opposite direction. Small world!

Did I look particularly grumpy? This morning's commute was a bitch.

[St_Eddie]

Getting my life back, after 6 years of pure Hell.  I had given up all hope and was close to the point of suicide, when suddenly an unexpected olive branch was extended.  Viva la 2018!

[Cuellar]

I've just learnt about array formulas in excel and that's pretty amazing.

[Ferris]

Did I look particularly grumpy? This morning's commute was a bitch.

No more so than usual.

[Twed]

People with BPD should not be made pariahs. They might need specific help with difficulties, but they can also recover. Their behaviour in a relationship is a reflection of their partner.

Never a good look to say "avoid this entire category of person".

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Jointly, getting back into regular work, and getting inspiration for a novel that might actually be publishable.

[canadagoose]

Their behaviour in a relationship is a reflection of their partner.

?! That's just victim-blaming!

[QDRPHNC]

People with BPD should not be made pariahs. They might need specific help with difficulties, but they can also recover. Their behaviour in a relationship is a reflection of their partner.

Should a person with BPD be ostracized from society? Of course not. And in fact, outside of their romantic relationships, most BPD sufferers function quite normally. But if a person is unable to exist as part of healthy adult couple and whose insecurities drive them to grind the other person into dust, my advice would be not to get into a romantic relationship with that person.

I agree they need specific help - DBT has been shown to be the most effective, although even that is not very effective.  And I agree they can change, but the odds are massively stacked against it, as the very nature of BPD is to avoid responsibility and assert the sufferer as the victim of their victim, which is the antithesis of what effective therapy requires.

All this stuff is out there for the reading.

As for your final point, I'm not even going to touch it.

[Twed]

As for your final point, I'm not even going to touch it.

Sure, just mark it as untouchable and move on.

[QDRPHNC]

Mate.

[Twed]

If you don't provide substance then you're playing to the crowd.

People with BPD react badly to feeling like they are being ignored or unappreciated. Their mental health in a relationship absolutely reflects their partner. That's not a value judgement on the partner (why be defensive?) but simply an important thing to understand if you actually want to help them.

It's amazing how we designate groups of people where it's okay to say things like "well statistically they're like this so I will aggressively push this shorthand for how they should be treated". That does not fly with race and gender and should not fly with mentally I'll people either. Mate.

[DukeDeMondo]

-edit-

[QDRPHNC]

If you don't provide substance then you're playing to the crowd.

People with BPD react badly to feeling like they are being ignored or unappreciated. Their mental health in a relationship absolutely reflects their partner. That's not a value judgement on the partner (why be defensive?) but simply an important thing to understand if you actually want to help them.

It's amazing how we designate groups of people where it's okay to say things like "well statistically they're like this so I will aggressively push this shorthand for how they should be treated". That does not fly with race and gender and should not fly with mentally I'll people either. Mate.

Listen Twed, I don't think your reply here is completely unreasonable, but I think it's leaving out several vitally important aspects of BPD that you're either glossing over or are unknown to you. If I am getting defensive it's because I am only 6 months out of a highly volatile relationship in which I was subjected to constant psychological and physical abuse, and so "Their behaviour in a relationship is a reflection of their partner." got to me. And nothing I have read about BPD (and I have read a lot) says anything of the sort. It says that certain types of people are attracted to BPD sufferers, it says if you are unable to handle their abuse well it can exacerbate their feelings of invalidation and rejection (imagine that), but I have not read that. Maybe you have experience that I don't.

Part of me wants to justify myself to you further, but I can feel myself getting knotted up inside, so I'm not going to. If you don't mind let's leave it there.

[Twed]

That's fine. I understand and would not argue against BPD being a difficult thing to deal with. I'm glad you're both out of a bad situation.

[Buelligan]

People with BPD should not be made pariahs. They might need specific help with difficulties, but they can also recover. Their behaviour in a relationship is a reflection of their partner.

Never a good look to say "avoid this entire category of person".

Their behaviour in a relationship is a reflection of their illness.

[canadagoose]

Their behaviour in a relationship is a reflection of their illness.

QFT

[zomgmouse]

Improving mental health through continued effort and seeing a psychologist
Went to the Edinburgh Fringe for the first time and did a couple of spots which means I've now performed overseas for the first time
Went to America for the first time
Started going on dates and not being afraid of romantic or physical encounters and later on kissing and having sex for the first time
Have recently started seeing somebody (very early stages but still)
A silly short film of mine was screened as part of a film festival some friends of mine put together
Expanding food horizons including starting to eat mushrooms and kale - a seemingly dull development but I feel it's indicative of wider personal improvements
Finished a couple of short scripts
Moved out of a very tiny place into a much more comfortable place
Did the longest run of a show in the comedy festival that I've ever done (two weeks) and of a show that I'd performed in a different festival and it ended up going rather well

All in all a pretty massive year.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Christ, if that was a highlight you're going to be fucking euphoric when you see East Kilbride.

Had an F1 reference ready to deploy too.

[Funcrusher]

People with BPD should not be made pariahs. They might need specific help with difficulties, but they can also recover. Their behaviour in a relationship is a reflection of their partner.

Never a good look to say "avoid this entire category of person".

People with BPD invariably don't recover as far as I know. The best solution seems to be strategies that moderate their behaviour, but this requires the person to be willing to do this, and many won't. At a certain point I think we will need to have a conversation societally about what we do about people with BPD, NPD and other personality disorders, as while they are themselves ill, which is unfortunate, the nature of that illness often compels them to abuse others, whose wellbeing must also be considered. The current occupant of the White House almost certainly has NPD, and could take the world into a nuclear war, so that's how high the stakes can be.

I'm curious to know whether the BPD partners CABbers were involved with were actually diagnosed. Did they have any kind of treatment for it? This should be on another thread really, shouldn't it?

[zomgmouse]

DANCING

[pancreas]

Started learning orgelmusik