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Naming an evil cult

Started by Noonling, December 14, 2018, 05:36:46 PM

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Noonling

I'm turning 30 next year and I feel a bit embarrassed that I still haven't founded an evil cult. It does seem to be the type of thing people get into late - Hubbard and Manson were both in the 40s...But Roch Thériault started when he was 30, David Koresh got involved with the Branch Davidsons when he was 24 (not a founder though), and the no. 1 cult leader Jim Jones started the People's Temple aged 24!

So I really need to get on it, and a name is an important part of all that. I want something classy, not some web 2.0 idea of a cult like "NXIVM" - rubbish, you can't even pronounce it.

Order of the Phoenix is alas already taken. Other mythical creatures don't work - Order of the Centaurs is still too Harry Potter, the Manticore Order doesn't roll off the tongue (and I don't want CaB member manticore trying to usurp me), and Kelpies I think are a group for Brownies - plus I'm not Scottish. Other non-mythical creatures could work, but I'm not sure what - nightingales are too depressing, macaques are spelled weird, lobsters are © Jordan Peterson.

Golden Dawn is a bit plain but would be okay if it wasn't a far right political party. Silver Dusk? Ochre Rise? Tuscany Noon?

Ancient stuff seems mysterious and classy. "Kleos" popped into my head, which kinda means renown, which wouldn't work on its own. "Kormos" means tree trunk, so that sounds all solid and reliable like you can give everything over to the cult Kormos Order. Also sounds edible, although I will probably introduce cannibalism in year 4 so I'm not sure it matters. I like Ascanius, but I don't think other people would. The Thyestes Family might give the game away too soon.

If I want people to give their mind, body and life savings to me it needs a really, really good name.

BlodwynPig


Lemming

X of the Y Z

Pick any combo

X:
Children
Acolytes
Descendants
Dark Worshippers
Sons
Daughters
Priests
Followers

Y:
Golden
Dark
Wise
Imminent
Coming
Harrowing
Magnificent
Rueful

Z:
Dawn
One
Chaos
Tower
Tide
Master
Lord
Arts

Noonling

Would YOU let yourself be brainwashed by the "Dark Worshippers of the Harrowing Chaos"?

Lemming

Yes! But I'm already allied with the Followers of the Rueful Tower.

Spoon of Ploff

I think the name needs to sound a bit futuristic, so that when your minions are out recruiting new.. eh recruits the literature they hand out will make it sound like you're some sort of save the planet, self awareness through crystals powered by nanotechnologic meditation type of deal. Then once they're through the door start in with the brain rinse.

Anything too arcane or old sounding will probably just attract nutters and the unreliable. You don't want that.


Head Gardener



Noonling

Quote from: Spoon of Ploff on December 14, 2018, 06:08:48 PM
I think the name needs to sound a bit futuristic, so that when your minions are out recruiting new.. eh recruits the literature they hand out will make it sound like you're some sort of save the planet, self awareness through crystals powered by nanotechnologic meditation type of deal. Then once they're through the door start in with the brain rinse.

Anything too arcane or old sounding will probably just attract nutters and the unreliable. You don't want that.

Its so hard to choose... I feel like the current wave of potential followers would actually be attracted by a more hippy back-to-nature style cult or else a ancient-forgotten-knowledge style of cult, to get away from their Snapchats and their anal bleaching and their digital marketing day job. Plus plenty of people are into environmentalism these days, so the Tulip Tide fits in.

Except not Tulip Tide because that's awful.

BlodwynPig


Kryton

The Dark splendour of imminent Tony.
The Golden sphere initiative
The Children of May
The Yawning mouth of Antioch.

MuteBanana

Just get your tits out on the promotional flyers and the people will be signing up.

The Feast of Maximum Occupancy.

Dex Sawash


Spoon of Ploff

Put a letter replacing digit in the name. That's a cool thing to do these days. For example:

The Zh3opticasm

Odd numbers work best for some reason.

Also, don't forget to leave space for the sponsors logo's on the title page of your grimoire/exegesis. Evil cults don't just run themselves you know, just ask ol' Mr Crowley 

Spoon of Ploff

Also, also... Have you considered a mascot? Someone in an amusing animal suit to get the crowds going at rallies, sacrifices and mass suicides?


Pingers

First things first: is this going to be a sex cult, a death cult or a sex and death cult? If the latter, in which order?

zomgmouse


zomgmouse

Quote from: zomgmouse on December 15, 2018, 10:00:38 PM
Grib

I wrote this completely randomly but I've just realised it means mushroom in Russian so that's a sign of some sort

Chairman Bodog

30? Fucking groundhogged radiobird. Bet you can't wait to flap your backfat. Every day is a choosing day. Noth is splayed and spag bowled, supertimed. Imagine the face of your crush is less butter-sexy than me in sequined drag. Sad state of affairs is the side of me that gots it.

I invite Adam Balaam to my church if he washes his shoulders and sings to the next site.