Author Topic: People with massive cultural voids  (Read 9018 times)

People with massive cultural voids
« on: December 14, 2018, 08:58:28 PM »
Today I was on a train, with a bloke in his late thirties, laddish, encyclopaedic knowledge of football, watching something on his phone.
"What is it?" I ask.
"Dynasty."
"The new one."
"There was an old one?" he gasps.
"Yes." I stare blankly. "Don't you remember?"
"No."
"With Joan Collins, Alexis."
I hum the original theme.
He stares blankly.
"Should I?"
He said he remembered Dallas (which TBH had a huge cultural effect in Ireland), but not Dynasty, which surprised me. Perhapstoo busy watching football. And RTE showed Dynasty.

A week or so, I was at a library. I found a poster for the Mosfilm coproduction Pavlova, and pointed out the special appearances  billing to the late 20something librarian, "Imagine that? Martin Scorsese and Bruce Forsyth billed together!" I chuckled.
"Sorry, I don't know who the second person is."
"Whaaaaaa?"
Okay, she grew up on only the two Irish channels, and RTE stopped showing Brucie's shows in the 80s. But I presumed she at least knew who he was through cultural osmosis. She said she didn't watch Strictly and shows of those type, but a description, an impression, the catchphrases, "Nice to see you, to see you nice!", the voice, tache and chin, "sounds like a character from Lazytown" was her reply.

biggytitbo

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2018, 09:33:49 PM »
I was talking to this 22 year old hottie the other day, very pretty, incredible arse, I was hoping she would let me slip her one, so I broached the subject of Bernard Bresslaw (highly underrated character actor or giant hairy man in dress?) and she couldn't be less impressed. In fact she immediately stopped talking to me and went and talked to some younger less bald man about stupid stuff like 'I am a celebrity, please let me out of this place' or music or something.


What in earth is wrong with the young people today?

Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2018, 09:35:56 PM »
I work with someone called George who can only name 3 of The Beatles: John, Paul and Ringo.

Paul Calf

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2018, 09:42:07 PM »
I don’t know who The Beetles are.

St_Eddie

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2018, 09:52:04 PM »
I don't know who George Ezra is.

Lemming

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2018, 09:57:29 PM »
My friend said he'd never heard Loaded by Primal Scream, and asked me to hum it when I reacted with surprise.

Very difficult song to accurately convey with humming.

Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2018, 10:14:51 PM »
I don't know who George Ezra is.

I think knowing who he is is the massive cultural void.

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #7 on: December 14, 2018, 10:15:39 PM »
I don't know who George Ezra is.
Lucky sod.

Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #8 on: December 14, 2018, 10:30:01 PM »
That noise you make when some says they don't know anything about a topic you think everyone would know.

biggytitbo

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2018, 10:32:25 PM »
I don't know who George Ezra is.


I bet you know who Bernard fucking Bresslaw is though don't you?

Lemming

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2018, 10:35:35 PM »
That noise you make when some says they don't know anything about a topic you think everyone would know.

tim_allen_grunt.mp3

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #11 on: December 14, 2018, 11:13:19 PM »
That noise you make when some says they don't know anything about a topic you think everyone would know.

bomb_dog

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #12 on: December 14, 2018, 11:45:48 PM »
I said to a 19 year old lad at work this week who'd missed a meeting, to try to 'keep his nose clean'.
He didn't understand the phrase, so I said to 'keep his head below the parapit'.
He didn't understand this phrase either, so I said it means to try not to 'stick out like a sore thumb'.
He didn't understand this either.

Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #13 on: December 14, 2018, 11:57:26 PM »

I bet you know who Bernard fucking Bresslaw is though don't you?


From The Giddy Game Show?

gib

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #14 on: December 15, 2018, 12:03:38 AM »
I said to a 19 year old lad at work this week who'd missed a meeting, to try to 'keep his nose clean'.
He didn't understand the phrase, so I said to 'keep his head below the parapit'.
He didn't understand this phrase either, so I said it means to try not to 'stick out like a sore thumb'.
He didn't understand this either.

This made me laugh. Could you test out some other phrases on him and keep us posted?

Sin Agog

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #15 on: December 15, 2018, 12:44:27 AM »
You should send him to B&Q to buy some Elbow Grease.  I remember the manager at the shop I used to work at would break in the work experience kids by getting them to do this.  90% of them went to fetch it.  There was maybe a 30% drop-off the next day of people who'd try to buy tartan spray-paint, too.

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #16 on: December 15, 2018, 12:59:18 AM »
Your manager is a cunt.

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #17 on: December 15, 2018, 01:42:18 AM »

I bet you know who Bernard fucking Bresslaw is though don't you?

Bernard Bresslaw went to my school.

Oh. Yeah.

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #18 on: December 15, 2018, 02:30:11 AM »
"There was an old one?" he gasps.

"There's a new one?" I gasp!

Are you sure he didn't mean Attenborough's "Dynasties" ? (Which incidentally I was very disappointed with the final episode where all the hunting scenes had been massively sanitised so as not to offend anyone.)

You should send him to B&Q to buy some Elbow Grease.  I remember the manager at the shop I used to work at would break in the work experience kids by getting them to do this.  90% of them went to fetch it.  There was maybe a 30% drop-off the next day of people who'd try to buy tartan spray-paint, too.

When I was about 9 A teacher once sent me to ask for some tartan paint!   It started with the teacher asking me to go to another room (an office adjoining the headmasters office) to ask if they had a pritt stick.  The two teachers who were there fumbled around in a drawer and drew a blank, then said they didn't have one "but we have tipp-ex if that'll do."  Bemused by this reply, as they're totally different things, I returned to the classroom and passed on the message - with a shrug, as if to say "I know, right?".  The teacher paused for a moment and told me to go back and ask if they had any tartan paint.  I gave her a funny look, shrugged, and went off on my errand.  I knew there was no such thing as tartan paint as I'd already heard of this prank, along with sky hooks and buckets of steam, but this was more fun that staying to take part in the lesson so who was I to argue!  So off I go.  I told them "She asked me to come and ask if you have any tartan paint?", with another shrug and a grin.  They pause for a moment and one of them says "Tell her, no, we only have spotted and striped."  So off I trot back to the classroom to pass on the message.

Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #19 on: December 15, 2018, 07:28:41 AM »
Father has a lot of tin mining vocab, for reasons unknown to me, and he uses it to dominate conversations and humiliate me. He revels in my ignorance and wishes me to stay in my benighted position. He posts made-up lists of tin mining vocab on the internet so I have no way of separating truth from lies. We don't deserve to be mocked, we are victims of circumstance.

biggytitbo

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #20 on: December 15, 2018, 08:35:56 AM »
Bernard Bresslaw went to my school.

Oh. Yeah.


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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #21 on: December 15, 2018, 08:58:37 AM »
I don't know who George Ezra is.

Funny you should mention this. I got massive bants from work colleagues the other day because, when asked if I liked George Ezra, I had never even heard of the cunt.

biggytitbo

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #22 on: December 15, 2018, 09:01:06 AM »
I thought he was someone who read the news.

mothman

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #23 on: December 15, 2018, 09:34:39 AM »
My daughter really likes the Arctic Monkeys, but she says barely anyone in her year at school have heard of them. She’s 13, born the year they impacted the public consciousness... or did so briefly, it would seem. TBH U don’t really know how big they are these days... for me, it’d be the equivalent of nobody at school having heard of ABBA (who granted were definitely much bigger, so it’s a flimsy analogy) - when in fact everybody did know them, it just wasn’t the done thing in the mid-80s to admit to liking them.

buttgammon

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #24 on: December 15, 2018, 10:16:07 AM »
I'd say they might just be a bit young for them; the Arctic Monkeys seem to have had a revival among older teenagers, whereas they're just an embarrassing memory for twentysomethings (or a smug one for those like me who never liked them).

Alberon

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #25 on: December 15, 2018, 10:45:01 AM »
While I’m going to hit 50 next year I still have my alarm clock tuned to Radio 1 in a desperate attempt to still feel I’m hip. Some of the evening shows are still good, though the daytime output is, of course, autotuned noise designed for phones, not anything with a decent speaker.

So I had heard of George Ezra, though hadn’t a clue what he looked like. I’ve also heard Shotgun before and despite it being mostly one line repeated over and over it is less offensively poor than most of the daytime output.

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #26 on: December 15, 2018, 11:00:34 AM »
I don't know who George Ezra is.

Someone who, if, like me, you don't know his race when you hear first hear him sing, you'll almost faint with shock when you find out he's white.

icehaven

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Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #27 on: December 15, 2018, 11:26:10 AM »
Many years ago I was on a bus with my then boyfriend and we went past a theatre with posters advertising their production of 'Wuthering Heights'. "I see what they've done there" he said, "That's a play on Withering Heights, isn't it?"

Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #28 on: December 15, 2018, 11:39:58 AM »
Football.

Not remotely interested, don't know anything about it beyond the obvious. I doubt I could name a single current footballer. Maybe Wayne Rooney, only because he used to be made fun of on the comedy programmes for looking like a potato. Is he still playing? I have no idea.

Re: People with massive cultural voids
« Reply #29 on: December 15, 2018, 11:43:08 AM »
I've never seen any of the Die Hard  films so I'm sure there are loads of times it's been quoted at me and it's  gone over my head. Ditto all this business of whether it's a Christmas film or not, is it? I honestly couldn't tell you.