Author Topic: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*  (Read 849 times)

Blue Jam

  • Known knobhead

Re: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2018, 07:20:38 AM »
They're not going for memorable contestants then, can't remember Jane or Flo at all, and they're recent. Maybe none of the good ones were willing to spend time in a tent with Andrew. Intrigued to see what kind of horrible thing he does next.

Dex Sawash

  • Silver Member
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Re: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2018, 02:42:46 AM »

Made a sticky toffee pudding cake tonight, bit dry and way too sweet.


Re: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2018, 02:58:47 AM »
Just follow Chef John

Re: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2018, 07:52:45 AM »
Remember Liams shit xbox controller cake last year, no-one called him a basic bitch, even though he was. Fucking dreadful personality vacuum. Ditchwater. Fifa online banter.

How fucking dull do they need to be to include this sequence in the final cut: Noel: "You're very huggable". Liam: "Am i? Is that a compliment?". Imagine the poor editor trying to compile an hour of usable material from these people.
Noel on seeing pink icing: "Beautiful colour, it's like you've melted down the pink panthers legs". Liam: "That's deep". Fucking grim.

Flo is dull. Had nothing to say about her on her first time round. Good reason for that. Hideous cake, whole bottle of mulled wine, stilton. These are the people they brought back. Very sad. Next week has some actual personality.

Andrew hasn't aged well. He sounds different, he sounds like guide to the clyde limmy, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOZzFXolGJc, worse than I remember.
Contrived rivalry with Jane, but everyone very dull, dull and forgettable. They say "grr" halfheartedly, and wear sucked jumper sleeves over their hands, drink large cups of chai tea, massive cups, so they leave it half-drunk.
Given a bauble every christmas, so he'll have a full set when he grows up, that's a recipe for a premature death in the family. That's asking for a 10-bauble box locked in the attic. One year they hang it on a mini-christmas tree, but it sours the mood and they burn the tree. Reckon Andrew steals other peoples baubles, he sucks them.

His present cake was identical to Flo's, absolutely identical, but much worse. Not even a christmas present, a birthday present. Putz. Tatty stars, pre-school tier shite, and he has humiliated himself on TV again, through his toddler demeanour and toddler cooking. Imagine him making jet engines like that, upsetting, and he should be fired for producing this slop, he will endanger us all. Imagine this sprite creature in his primary colour pyjamas, hanging around the jet engine with a toffee hammer, smirking broadly and flicking his pointy ears. You wouldn't use the jet engine, you wouldn't entrust our life to what he has done. If I knew he was in the neighbourhood I'd leave poisoned cat food in the wendy house down the bottom of the garden, sort him out. One of those enid blyton villains they always lock in a cupboard.

Hope this is the last we'll be seeing of him.

BlodwynPig

  • R.I.P. The Waxwork René
Re: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*
« Reply #5 on: December 26, 2018, 10:30:35 AM »
First time i watched it. Contrived is the word. I didnt mind it, but after reading piljstaart i am back to gleeful cynicism. Humour dredged from the bowels of vicar of dibley “too twee for tv” box

Blue Jam

  • Known knobhead
Re: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*
« Reply #6 on: December 26, 2018, 10:57:33 AM »
Hope this is the last we'll be seeing of him.

Liar.

Blue Jam

  • Known knobhead
Re: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*
« Reply #7 on: December 26, 2018, 11:00:17 AM »
Prue's sequinned Cavalier King Charles Spaniel jumper was amazing. Want.

Paul looked very uncomfortable in his cuddly Christmas jumper, like he couldn't wait to change into a short-sleeved Ben Sherman and get down to Frodsham's premier "nite spot" and show his "guns" off to all the berrrds.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Mountain mate
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*
« Reply #8 on: December 26, 2018, 06:32:57 PM »
TV ideal for gossips, so drab you have to spend your time finding character flaws to bitch about

Great Grave Off would have me as a guaranteed viewer

daf

  • Is this for posh knob 'eads?
Re: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*
« Reply #9 on: December 26, 2018, 06:56:02 PM »
Huge zoom-ins on the flashback footage from the BBC series - cropping out all traces of various Mels, Sues or Berries - leaving only, literally, the big head of Hollywood's big head in shot.

« Last Edit: December 26, 2018, 07:25:34 PM by daf »

thecuriousorange

  • WELCOME THRILLHOU
Re: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*
« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2018, 12:12:23 PM »
A terrible line-up and as a fair-weather fan I recognised none of the contestants. It was also obviously filmed about five months ago.

Dex Sawash

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Re: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*
« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2018, 12:26:09 PM »
The American version had Paul handling bread cocks without comment. Guessing that took some second takes and editing.






Mister Six

  • Half-masted, bass-boosted, sling-backed
Re: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2018, 06:21:44 AM »
Huge zoom-ins on the flashback footage from the BBC series - cropping out all traces of various Mels, Sues or Berries - leaving only, literally, the big head of Hollywood's big head in shot.

Did they leave acrimoniously or something? Only watched this for the first time before Christmas. It was all right.

Shameless Custard

  • PAUSE FOR THE JET
    • My RUBBISH
Re: The Great Christmas Bake-Off *PAGING PJILSTAART*
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2018, 05:18:23 PM »
Andrew's bum fluff was a brave choice. One quick pull of the oven door and that'd be off