Am I Being Unreasonable?

[Cuellar]

Partner has to go to Mexico for a few days for work in January.

She says "I'll go a week or so early, and stay a few days extra, then you can come out and we can have a holiday around my work days!"

I can't really be bothered. Don't fancy it really. Got nowt against Mexico, fine cuisine, hot no doubt, sunny and the rest of it. But £600 plane ticket? Meh. Not arsed.

I think she's annoyed, as I only received a curt 'ok' to my 'don't really fancy it' message. She was dashing out of work at the time, but still.

£600 on travel alone?! In January, of all the months? Just post Xmas when I'm going to be boracic as it is?

[Dex Sawash]

DEAD SOON




edit- by partner or the cartels no matter what you choose

[Cuellar]

Oh right well I do feel like I'm having a heart/panic attack right now so cheers

[Ferris]

Yeah who wants to spend time away somewhere warm in the depths of a miserable January? Complete madness!

Mexico supposed to be nice, and also cheap. Give it a go, might not get the opportunity again.

[Cuellar]

might not get the opportunity again.

Why not?!

[bgmnts]

Yes.

I didn't read it but yes.

[massive bereavement]

What will you do instead? Porn binge?

[imitationleather]

YABU

[drummersaredeaf]

No, YANBU xx

[Dex Sawash]

YABU

also should go to OAXACA

[Cuellar]

What will you do instead? Porn binge?

Dunno. Nowt.

I just find travelling about very stressful. It's stressful, being away. You have to do lots of things. And we've just been to Thailand (well last January). That was stressful. Having to arrange things, hotels, activities, places to eat, things to see. It's all too much isn't it.

[Replies From View]

I'm assuming your relationship is stable enough for this kind of thing not to be an issue?

[Buelligan]

Partner is probably hurt/uncomfortable about you appearing not to want to spend time with them that much.  Probably thinking wistfully about those times in the past when you would've spent every penny you had just for half an hour and now you can't even be bothered when it's Mexico in January. 

[Cuellar]

Could be that.

I still think it's a bit much on her part. It's alright for her, she's getting her flight and accommodation paid for. I can't really afford it.

[bgmnts]

Aye i'm on team Cuellar here.

You can always bin her and get another one anyway.

[Cuellar]

Oh shit.

_{joke lol}

[chveik]

no you're not. crossing the atlantic ocean for only a few days holiday is madness.
some people don't like to travel, if she loves you she'll understand.

[gilbertharding]

Why not?!

I don't know all your circumstances - but you're right, you probably have plenty of opportunities to go to Mexico in what's left of your life. Not all of them will be when half your combined travel costs will be being paid for by your wife's (girlfriend?) firm... I suppose you share expenses?

On the other hand, going that far for less than a week away is a bit stupid.

Answer d) "I don't know, do I?"

[Replies From View]

Could be that.

I still think it's a bit much on her part. It's alright for her, she's getting her flight and accommodation paid for. I can't really afford it.

Maybe she could pay half for your flight and accommodation.  But you seem to have not made it about your finances so much as being arsed.  Saying "it's a bit much on her part" suggests you feel like when friends selfishly ask you to come out to Greece for their wedding and celebrate how much you love them at your own expense.  Whereas really your soulmate just thinks this would be a nice opportunity for you to explore a bit of the world together.

[Buelligan]

She's probably texting that person from HR right now and they're both rubbing their thighs with glee about how they've tricked you.  You should probably book a flight out there the day after and catch them at it.

[Cuellar]

The not arsedness is motivated in large part by how expensive it is.

But also yes, I don't fancy it. Nothing wrong with not fancying it, is there?

[PlanktonSideburns]

Tell her your main worry is you can't afford it - really highlight that bit to hide the fact that you can't be bothered to go on holiday with her.

Don't know why you chose to lead with that when you had can't afford it in your back pocket. Theresa May levels of diplomacy slip up there

[PlanktonSideburns]

I'm not saying not being arsed is a bad thing, only God can judge you, but DIPLOMATICALLY you've shat right through the bed onto the floor here

[Wet Blanket]

It's a lose lose conundrum I reckon: I couldn't justify shelling out £600 on a whim for just a few days in Mexico either, but on the other hand i can imagine that if I was going out with someone who was into doing just that it would soon put a strain on our relationship after I kept crying off such adventures.

[Replies From View]

The not arsedness is motivated in large part by how expensive it is.

But also yes, I don't fancy it. Nothing wrong with not fancying it, is there?

Like I say, it's hard to judge how much of a fuck up this is without knowing how stable your relationship is.  I'm assuming "very" from your relaxed tone, but I do suspect this is one of those things that'll get mentioned in a future argument (if you have those).

[Kelvin]

Could be that.

I still think it's a bit much on her part. It's alright for her, she's getting her flight and accommodation paid for. I can't really afford it.

You don't need to answer this on here, but will you be paying for it from a shared account? If not, and it's your own money, I do think it's a bit much to be annoyed that you can't afford it.

Probably didn't help that you've said you're not arsed, rather than worried about the cost after xmas, though.

[Emotional Support Peacock]

Whereabouts in Mexico?

[Kelvin]

Its a bit like when people get married overseas and expect every one they care about to spend hundreds of pounds on travel and accom for their one special day.

Except totally different.

[Replies From View]

Its a bit like when people get married overseas and expect every one they care about to spend hundreds of pounds on travel and accom for their one special day.

Except totally different.

's what I said

Saying "it's a bit much on her part" suggests you feel like when friends selfishly ask you to come out to Greece for their wedding and celebrate how much you love them at your own expense.  Whereas really your soulmate just thinks this would be a nice opportunity for you to explore a bit of the world together.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Might as well get your money's worth now you're in trouble anyway; go on a massive bender in her absence and neglect to tidy away the evidence of debauchery.