Author Topic: Bird Box  (Read 2646 times)

Bird Box
« on: December 23, 2018, 10:14:13 AM »
Only 15 minutes in but the premise is basically The Happening or Red Dwarf despair squid on global scale.

Somewhat into it so far but a bit disappointed with the premise.

Re: Bird Box
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2018, 10:45:53 AM »
Also, Sandra Bullock's character is from a place called Stockton and I immediately heard "Robert! Robert!" in my head.

I laughed.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2018, 11:09:18 AM »
No idea what you are talking abour here

Re: Bird Box
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2018, 11:51:22 AM »
No idea what you are talking abour here

Bird Box is a motion picture on Netflix.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2018, 11:55:21 AM »
Bird Box is a motion picture on Netflix.

And the rest?

Re: Bird Box
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2018, 12:02:52 PM »
And the rest?

The Happening is a motion picture by M Night Shmamamalam.
Red Dwarf is a sitcom.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2018, 12:26:32 PM »
Still non the wiser. I’ll watch it when i return to canada

Sin Agog

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2018, 12:44:20 PM »
I was thinking The Quiet Place but with blindfolds instead of whispers.  I'm wagering that before 2022 we'll have horror films about the remaining three senses being handicapped, culminating with one set in a terrifying nightmare world in which everything tastes like tofu.

BlodwynPig

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2018, 01:42:08 PM »
Umami 2: bittersweet

Re: Bird Box
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2018, 02:54:32 PM »
Netflix keeps trying to push this on me but it looks shit, and given that most of the reviews reference A Quiet Place, which I had to turn off halfway through because it was so stupid, and quite a few also mention The Happening which was a massive waste of time, I really can't see myself wanting to bother with it.

Sin Agog

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #10 on: December 23, 2018, 03:09:16 PM »
I got through it OK, but there were a few moments which almost did me in, like the fat fantasist writing a space opera in his basement who's suddenly more clued-in than everyone else.  The river stuff was pretty good, while everything else was a bit flaky.

Re: Bird Box
« Reply #11 on: December 23, 2018, 06:22:08 PM »
Aye I liked the first few minutes of it and I thought John Malkovich was good in it, as well as Sandra Bullock, but it was hit and miss.

I'll say it was MUCH better than The Happening though.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #12 on: December 23, 2018, 06:33:11 PM »
I'll say it was MUCH better than The Happening though.

Jeremy Clarkson taking a post-Sunday roast shit into your gaping maw whilst Hammond and May look on and clap and shriek like over excited chimps is better than The Happening.

Re: Bird Box
« Reply #13 on: December 23, 2018, 07:00:43 PM »
That isn't on Netflix until March, though.

Re: Bird Box
« Reply #14 on: December 23, 2018, 09:33:48 PM »
It is utter shite.  Don't even bother.

My other half has forced herself to sit through it, after we realised what kind of film it was going to be after the first 10 minute, but even for her she is struggling with how utterly shit it is.

Sandra Bullock on a boat blindfolded with two kids several years after being in an apocalyptic wasteland but still manages to do her makeup everyday - trust me it is rubbish.


Re: Bird Box
« Reply #15 on: December 23, 2018, 09:35:28 PM »
Netflix keeps trying to push this on me but it looks shit, and given that most of the reviews reference A Quiet Place, which I had to turn off halfway through because it was so stupid, and quite a few also mention The Happening which was a massive waste of time, I really can't see myself wanting to bother with it.

It is considerably CONSIDERABLY worse than A Quiet Place (which was bad).

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #16 on: December 23, 2018, 09:45:08 PM »
We watched it tonight and yeah, it's fucking awful, full of unsympathetic characters doing very stupid / boring things. John Malkovich was vaguely fun but it really isn't worth watching. I didn't think much of The Quiet Place and this is much much worse. 3.8/10

Rev+

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #17 on: December 24, 2018, 02:05:19 AM »
I'd put it above A Quiet Place.  At least there was an ensemble to add a bit of liveliness, and there wasn't anything like the Ridiculous Nail.

We're about to get a shitload of films like this, aren't we?  What'll the genre be called?

Dex Sawash

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #18 on: December 24, 2018, 02:46:34 AM »

I'll say it was MUCH better than The Happening though.

Does anyone put a hairdryer up em?

Sin Agog

  • Dogs fucked the pope; no fault of mine
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #19 on: December 24, 2018, 02:57:30 AM »
I'd put it above A Quiet Place.  At least there was an ensemble to add a bit of liveliness, and there wasn't anything like the Ridiculous Nail.

We're about to get a shitload of films like this, aren't we?  What'll the genre be called?

Senseploitation?

chveik

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #20 on: December 24, 2018, 03:00:31 AM »
We watched it tonight and yeah, it's fucking awful, full of unsympathetic characters doing very stupid / boring things. John Malkovich was vaguely fun but it really isn't worth watching. I didn't think much of The Quiet Place and this is much much worse. 3.8/10

3.8?! that's a pretty high rating for an awful film

Small Man Big Horse

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #21 on: December 24, 2018, 11:26:42 AM »
3.8?! that's a pretty high rating for an awful film

True, but it led to me imagining the kids taking off their blindfolds and killing themselves in a horrendous way so it got an extra point for that.

Re: Bird Box
« Reply #22 on: January 02, 2019, 08:59:12 PM »
I am about twenty minutes into this and I can't get my head around the daft idea that everyone has unanimously agreed that people are actually seeing things and it's not some kind of hallucination brought on by an airborne disease

Re: Bird Box
« Reply #23 on: January 02, 2019, 10:55:13 PM »
The ending is, if you'll forgive me, blindingly obvious.

Re: Bird Box
« Reply #24 on: January 03, 2019, 06:23:25 AM »
I am about twenty minutes into this and I can't get my head around the daft idea that everyone has unanimously agreed that people are actually seeing things and it's not some kind of hallucination brought on by an airborne disease

Yeah, it’s shit. There’s no gradual learning about the predicament, everything immediately escalates, they get to the house and someone says they saw someone see something and that just becomes the accepted explanation.

notjosh

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #25 on: January 03, 2019, 08:17:31 AM »
I was thinking The Quiet Place but with blindfolds instead of whispers.  I'm wagering that before 2022 we'll have horror films about the remaining three senses being handicapped, culminating with one set in a terrifying nightmare world in which everything tastes like tofu.

Not far off. It's actually brilliant.

Re: Bird Box
« Reply #26 on: January 03, 2019, 11:23:04 AM »
I laughed out loud when John Malkovitch said something like this:

"Okay, newbie. Thanks for visiting. Now fuck off."

Cuellar

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #27 on: January 03, 2019, 11:35:01 AM »
Boring af.

I read the wikipedia summary of the novel it's based on and the ending seems at least a bit better i.e. the people blinded themselves

Head Gardener

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #28 on: January 04, 2019, 02:43:08 PM »
I laughed out loud when John Malkovitch said something like this:

"Okay, newbie. Thanks for visiting. Now fuck off."

my missus still goes on about JM's tiny penis - he gets naked in some daft film, can't remember which, but you see his willy in it and apparently it's really small
just thought I'd throw that in, she just goes on about it everytime I say "oh John Malkovich is in this film" it's ridiculous. I have downloaded this movie though, dunno when I'll get round to it - marks out of ten anyone?

Shameless Custard

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #29 on: January 04, 2019, 03:25:37 PM »
Lasted twenty minutes, here

The initial gropes at humour between Bullock and her sister fell flat for me. Then it started going off, and it suddenly became The Mist crossed with Dawn Of The Dead. But nowhere near as good as either

Facebook has been full of people praising it though, so I'm glad everyone on here says it's bumwallop the whole way through. Saves me ever watching it