Author Topic: Bird Box  (Read 2639 times)

Cuellar

  • Push off my wire
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #30 on: January 04, 2019, 03:45:32 PM »
Having watched this and then The ABC Murders I'm compelled to ask: can John Malkovitch act? Could he, once? He just seems shit in things recently.

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #31 on: January 05, 2019, 01:48:00 PM »
This is the 2nd or 3rd Netflix film that's had such rave reviews I've actually looked forward to it, only to be disappointed by a cliche ridden, lazy script with a contrived plot based on a risible premise you could put your hand through. Is it just that expectations are lower as they aren't cinema releases and a lot of people are surprisingly easily impressed by Hollywood stars appearing in what is ostensibly a TV movie?

Maurice Yeatman

  • His Reverence won't like it
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #32 on: January 05, 2019, 05:39:20 PM »
It's aimed at strong women who nurture their children by shouting at them and calling them 'boy' and 'girl'. https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/1080262855654551552

Why did no one at any point say to Bullock that she looked like Michael Jackson?


neveragain

  • like those swamp tar pits that bubble and go Gloop
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #33 on: January 07, 2019, 11:09:35 AM »
Having watched this and then The ABC Murders I'm compelled to ask: can John Malkovitch act? Could he, once? He just seems shit in things recently.

I've always thought he was a bit wooden. The only exceptions being Of Mice And Men and Being John Malkovich, funnily enough.

Head Gardener

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #34 on: January 07, 2019, 11:31:06 AM »

Facebook has been full of people praising it though, so I'm glad everyone on here says it's bumwallop the whole way through. Saves me ever watching it

saw it last night and liked it and I am not even on FB*, some of the imagery was pretty creepy, like the woman walking into a burning car and the charcoal drawings


*currently banned for a week for posting a 40 year old LP sleeve with tits on it

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #35 on: January 07, 2019, 01:52:02 PM »
saw it last night and liked it and I am not even on FB*...


*currently banned for a week for posting a 40 year old LP sleeve with tits on it

Seriously? And still I keep getting adverts for lingerie that look more like adverts for Russian brides despite repeatedly clicking for them to fuck off? Facebook should ban itself. 

Head Gardener

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #36 on: January 07, 2019, 03:57:04 PM »
this is my 2nd ban in a year, first it was Electric Ladyland (3 month ban) now it's Arabian belly dancers (one week)
crackers

Sin Agog

  • Dogs fucked the pope; no fault of mine
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #37 on: January 07, 2019, 05:58:13 PM »
It's called FACEbook, not titsbook or bellybook!

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #38 on: January 07, 2019, 07:00:44 PM »
It's called FACEbook, not titsbook or bellybook!

Try telling that to the purveyors of lacy underwear that seem to think I want to see an endless parade of women just about wearing their products. If I'm in the market for such garments I'll find them myself cheers, I don't really need soft porn popping up on my computer screen while I'm sneaking a look at fb at work.

Replies From View

  • Rubbing linseed oil into the school cormorant.
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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #39 on: January 08, 2019, 10:51:58 AM »
my missus still goes on about JM's tiny penis - he gets naked in some daft film, can't remember which, but you see his willy in it and apparently it's really small
just thought I'd throw that in, she just goes on about it everytime I say "oh John Malkovich is in this film" it's ridiculous. I have downloaded this movie though, dunno when I'll get round to it - marks out of ten anyone?

Does she want you to also have a tiny penis like that John Malkovich?

“I remember in the old days of our relationship when you would model yourself on people, like John Malkovich.”

Little clues like that?

Head Gardener

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #40 on: January 08, 2019, 10:59:01 AM »
Does she want you to also have a tiny penis like that John Malkovich?

quite possibly, who knows what goes through a Scottish wife's mind? Unfortunately for her I'm hung like a horse so she'll have to keep wishing, meanwhile
the s/t is rather good - have had it on (as opposed to have it off) this morning, more info on exy


Norton Canes

  • The leper heart will see you for what you are
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #41 on: January 08, 2019, 05:03:46 PM »
Other family members watched this and I caught a bit while wandering through the living room. It seemed like the sort of thing Steven Moffat would consider briefly as a premise for an episode of Doctor Who, before settling on a more appealing faux-involvement concept like not stepping on the cracks in the pavement.

DJ Bob Hoskins

  • Going mental in a dustbin
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #42 on: January 13, 2019, 03:18:14 PM »
the s/t is rather good - have had it on (as opposed to have it off) this morning, more info on exy



Ah, I also liked the soundtrack but didn't pay attention to the credits so didn't realise who composed it. In a similar 'shit film, great music' vein, I really liked their Gone Girl soundtrack. It's very unsettling and queasy.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #43 on: January 13, 2019, 03:22:55 PM »
Do they have different coloured blindfolds so that the viewers can tell them apart?

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #44 on: January 30, 2019, 04:16:13 PM »
Watched this last night at Mrs Nose's insistence.  Ironically she was bored shitless within ten minutes, whilst I got quite engaged by the scenes on the river.

Comparisons to The Happening and The Mist are right, although I thought it was better than both (I know The Mist is quite the favourite around here, but I LOATHED it).  Still got made-for-TV written over most of it, though.

Someone needs to do a fan edit to turn it into a tight little 70min survival film, cutting out all of the non-river stuff with the exception of the events immediately before Bullock scarpers with the kids.

Oddest moment - "!!oh, it's Rebecca Pidge...oh, she's immediately dead."

Re: Bird Box
« Reply #45 on: January 30, 2019, 04:32:25 PM »
Is The Mist the one with the best ending in cinema history? Or is that the Fog?

Bad Ambassador

  • Sit down, Mario!
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #46 on: January 30, 2019, 05:04:33 PM »
Is The Mist the one with the best ending in cinema history? Or is that the Fog?

The Mist is the one with the supermarket, The Fog is the one with the lighthouse radio station.

Attila

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Re: Bird Box
« Reply #47 on: January 30, 2019, 07:37:05 PM »
I read Bird Box awhile back, and I did enjoy reading it over the course of a few nights peace and quiet in a hotel.

Watching the film, though...fair enough entire subplots had to be trimmed out, there's a ridiculous love story added -- but I couldn't get past the fact that Bullock's character-in-the-book is 24 years old. (And in the book, she's not living a comfy middle class lifestyle complete with full make up every day, as depicted in the film, also a bit silly).

John Malkovitch is always quality, though.

Cuellar

  • Push off my wire
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #48 on: January 30, 2019, 09:40:26 PM »
Is The Mist the one with the best ending in cinema history? Or is that the Fog?

It's old isn't it so I don't think I can be bothered spoilering it

Is The Mist the one where he kills his family and then all the soldiers and rescuers emerge from the mist immediately, revealing themselves to have been mere meters away as he guns down his hapless kids.

Cos I thought that was gubbins.

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #49 on: January 30, 2019, 10:50:52 PM »
It's old isn't it so I don't think I can be bothered spoilering it

Is The Mist the one where he kills his family and then all the soldiers and rescuers emerge from the mist immediately, revealing themselves to have been mere meters away as he guns down his hapless kids.

Cos I thought that was gubbins.

Yep, abysmal.  After he killed everyone I jokingly said to Mrs Nose (in an MST3K style) "and the army will immediately appear".  And then of course they did, and we both laughed AT the film.  Which I don't think you were supposed to.  Absolute dogshit.

BlodwynPig

  • Throwing two dogs at a goblin
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #50 on: January 30, 2019, 11:22:50 PM »
what does MST3K mean? was thinking of calling the third in my new franchise Minostork, this.

Bad Ambassador

  • Sit down, Mario!
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #51 on: January 30, 2019, 11:38:46 PM »
Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

Glebe

  • The Year of the Macaque.
Re: Bird Box
« Reply #52 on: March 13, 2019, 04:43:20 AM »
Just watched this the other night... I wasn't expecting a masterpiece, but I was still underwhelmed, really. I mean, it's decent enough, but they could have done a lot more with it. And it's bloody cheesy in places. I thought it'd be mainly blindfolded Sandra Bullock and bairns going up a river and that, was surprized at how much of it was set with the other folks in the house. Didn't know John Malkovich was in it.

I was thinking The Mist too, particularly the supermarket bit.

Oh yeah, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross' score was good and creepy.

Re: Bird Box
« Reply #53 on: March 13, 2019, 06:02:52 PM »
I watched half of the mist when it was on mubi. Thought it was shite but there were some funny bits with the god botherer. The CGI was wank and I don't know why Toby Jones was in it.