Author Topic: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)  (Read 48960 times)

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1530 on: May 14, 2019, 07:50:36 PM »
Those buttons with the slightly raised outer crescent have always felt like 1 button as I tend to use my elbow.
Assumed the raised part was just a common decorative motif, never realised until now that they're 2 separate buttons with different flushes.
Will definitely test this next time I encounter one.

I’m sorry but I can offer no explanation for this.  You may need to see a shrink.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1531 on: May 14, 2019, 08:46:25 PM »
I'm amused by the mental image of hedgehog90 standing over a toilet and testing the variance of its flushes, all the while proclaiming "coo".

Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1532 on: May 14, 2019, 08:48:12 PM »
I'm amused by the mental image of hedgehog90 standing over a toilet and testing the variance of its flushes, all the while proclaiming "coo".

Shopping bag full of mashed up Dundee cake?

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1533 on: May 14, 2019, 09:01:34 PM »

On my bog, which is about four years old, the big button is a normal flush. The small button will flush for as long as you hold it down or until all the water in the cistern is exhausted.

They should just do away with cisterns and make it so the loo flushes by keeping a tap turned on for as long as you hold a button. Fuck are they putting it in a little container for?

Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1534 on: May 14, 2019, 10:32:41 PM »

On my bog, which is about four years old, the big button is a normal flush. The small button will flush for as long as you hold it down or until all the water in the cistern is exhausted.

That is a normal flush, isn't it? I mean that's how the flush works on normal toilets without fancy multi-part buttons.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1535 on: May 14, 2019, 10:36:28 PM »
When I flush my toilet it screams/gurgles "YOU UNTHINKING ROUSTABOUT".

touchingcloth

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1536 on: May 14, 2019, 10:47:49 PM »
That is a normal flush, isn't it? I mean that's how the flush works on normal toilets without fancy multi-part buttons.

The second button on toilets without a second button?

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1537 on: May 14, 2019, 10:50:22 PM »
I have never heard of water becoming exhausted before all this happened.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1538 on: May 14, 2019, 10:56:24 PM »
I have never heard of water becoming exhausted before all this happened.

You've never read The Ooze by G Marenghi?

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1539 on: May 14, 2019, 10:57:16 PM »
I have never heard of water becoming exhausted before all this happened.
Think it through mate. Running water. Of course it's going to get a bit puffed out.

Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1540 on: May 17, 2019, 08:09:11 AM »
Fuck are they putting it in a little container for?

same reason you might've had a tank in the loft- if the water supply goes away for some reason, you've enough stored for a day's worth of basic hygiene & so forth.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1541 on: May 17, 2019, 08:42:25 AM »
same reason you might've had a tank in the loft- if the water supply goes away for some reason, you've enough stored for a day's worth of basic hygiene & so forth.

One shit's worth. End it.

Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1542 on: May 17, 2019, 09:02:39 AM »
They should just do away with cisterns and make it so the loo flushes by keeping a tap turned on for as long as you hold a button. Fuck are they putting it in a little container for?

The way the flush works is dependent on dumping a decent amount of water into the bowl as quickly as possible - enough to completely fill the U-Bend part of the pipe, so as it goes down the waste pipe it creates a suction that pulls the crap out of the bowl. If you just ran a tap into the bowl you wouldn't get the suction.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1543 on: May 17, 2019, 09:07:27 AM »
They should just do away with cisterns and make it so the loo flushes by keeping a tap turned on for as long as you hold a button. Fuck are they putting it in a little container for?

Using gravity to release a store of water with force. A tap flow isn't going to have the necessary force (nor would you want such pressure in a supply pipe that could one day burst); hence the longer time it takes to fill the cistern compared to how quickly the water is released to flush. And what olliebean said.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1544 on: May 17, 2019, 10:54:02 AM »
Using gravity to release a store of water with force. A tap flow isn't going to have the necessary force (nor would you want such pressure in a supply pipe that could one day burst); hence the longer time it takes to fill the cistern compared to how quickly the water is released to flush. And what olliebean said.
The way the flush works is dependent on dumping a decent amount of water into the bowl as quickly as possible - enough to completely fill the U-Bend part of the pipe, so as it goes down the waste pipe it creates a suction that pulls the crap out of the bowl. If you just ran a tap into the bowl you wouldn't get the suction.

Put an end to cisterns and these fucking pansies of taps, then. Strong enough to sluice the biggest craps away and make your hosepipe able to reach over the house and into next week.

Fuck's sake. Cisterns.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1545 on: May 17, 2019, 11:08:12 AM »
I've just realised I have no idea how a toilets work

Or what 'pigeon-chested' means (not apropos of the toilet discussion, just occured to me)

Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1546 on: May 17, 2019, 11:39:26 AM »
what you want to do is save your dump for when you're in the shower, then waffle-stomp it down the plughole.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1547 on: May 17, 2019, 12:55:14 PM »
Think it through mate. Running water. Of course it's going to get a bit puffed out.

No I don’t think it would.  I fundamentally disagree.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1548 on: May 17, 2019, 02:23:23 PM »
Come on man. Why do you think it never goes uphill?

Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1549 on: May 17, 2019, 02:54:29 PM »
Come on man. Why do you think it never goes uphill?

ahem....


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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1550 on: May 17, 2019, 04:54:25 PM »
Come on man. Why do you think it never goes uphill?

If it never goes uphill then why does it get puffed out so easily?

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1551 on: May 17, 2019, 05:12:11 PM »
If it never goes uphill then why does it get puffed out so easily?

Cos it's a little fucking punk that never did an honest day's work in its life. Fucking scrounger, bin it off.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1552 on: May 17, 2019, 05:16:41 PM »
Cos it's a little fucking punk that never did an honest day's work in its life. Fucking scrounger, bin it off.

See I just don’t agree that this is what water is.  I’ve seen it driving loads of water wheels and stuff.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1553 on: May 17, 2019, 05:19:27 PM »
Using gravity to release a store of water with force. A tap flow isn't going to have the necessary force (nor would you want such pressure in a supply pipe that could one day burst); hence the longer time it takes to fill the cistern compared to how quickly the water is released to flush.
It's so stupid that we had to come up with complex gravity-based systems when we could have solved the problem at the source by simply eliminating the anus.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1554 on: May 17, 2019, 05:41:54 PM »
See I just don’t agree that this is what water is.  I’ve seen it driving loads of water wheels and stuff.

It's a shitty little prick, if I ever saw it near me I'd kick it's stupid head in, the nonce.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1555 on: May 17, 2019, 06:01:28 PM »
There are freshwater areas too, you know.  It’s not all sewer stuff.  Stroll upstream once in a while.

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1556 on: May 17, 2019, 06:06:58 PM »
Momma uses a femidom.  Poppa uses a poppadom.

Poppa's got a brand new bag

Momma's got a bag of her own

Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1557 on: May 17, 2019, 06:19:14 PM »
It's so stupid that we had to come up with complex gravity-based systems when we could have solved the problem at the source by simply eliminating the anus.

or do what pingers (& presumably touching cloth) does/do, do-do in the shreddies. to be disposed of at your convenience, to the highest bidder. 

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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1558 on: May 17, 2019, 06:41:28 PM »
or do what pingers (& presumably touching cloth) does/do, do-do in the shreddies. to be disposed of at your convenience, to the highest bidder.

I've been shitting on the steps of the local council in protest until they sort out this ridiculous cistern situation. I'm pretty sure it's the council building - the short arse squeaky-voiced councillors wrinkle their noses at me and say things like "what's that man doing?" as if that will make me believe they don't have a clue what point I'm trying to make, and they have one of those stupid council calendar things with only 8 days on outside.


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Re: 0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)
« Reply #1559 on: May 17, 2019, 06:43:37 PM »
See I just don’t agree that this is what water is.  I’ve seen it driving loads of water wheels and stuff.

Can’t even be bothered to walk.