0bvious things you’ve only just realised (2019 edition)

[Twit 2]

I learned today that Tess Daley is 50, FUCKING 50! I know people are looking younger/better for far longer now but that's mental

Isn't she a robot, though? Whenever I've had the misfortune of watching STRICTLY she seems so forced and unnatural in her manner and presenting that it seems at any minute she'll malfunction, with all wires and smoke spraying out the back of her head and needing a gaffer to rush on and beat her with a broom. Cf. Winklewoman, who banters vapidly with the consummate ease of an actual human.

[touchingcloth]

The "pelican" in a pelican crossing is an acronym, and is actually spelled "pelicon". It stands for police-enforced light, cross over now.

[Replies From View]

Isn't she a robot, though? Whenever I've had the misfortune of watching STRICTLY she seems so forced and unnatural in her manner and presenting that it seems at any minute she'll malfunction, with all wires and smoke spraying out the back of her head and needing a gaffer to rush on and beat her with a broom. Cf. Winklewoman, who banters vapidly with the consummate ease of an actual human.

Was she ever on Would I Lie To You?  I don't know who she is but I think I saw her on an episode that had Bob Mortimer on it, and if it's the same person she wasn't robotic at all.

[touchingcloth]

Was she ever on Would I Lie To You?  I don't know who she is but I think I saw her on an episode that had Bob Mortimer on it, and if it's the same person she wasn't robotic at all.

IMDB has her on an episode with Sally Phillips, Rhod Gilbert and Des O'Connor.

Going through the episodes that Mortimer has been on, the only person it seems likely you would have confused her with - due to being a blonde TV presenter from the North - is Gabby Logan - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wTT6D3Ob5Y. Daly is robotic and pretty rubbish on Strictly, especially in comparison to Winkleman who's great.

Now for my 0TYOJR: Morrissey has written a novel - list of the lost - and its wiki page contains this excellent single sentence precis:

The book is about a 1970s relay team in Boston who accidentally kill a demon, which then curses the team.

[a duncandisorderly]

The "pelican" in a pelican crossing is an acronym, and is actually spelled "pelicon". It stands for police-enforced light, cross over now.

ahem....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUa7Le0ZrcM

[pigamus]

I hate the puffin ones. Still can't get used to them. They must be dangerous as well.

[a duncandisorderly]

I hate the puffin ones. Still can't get used to them. They must be dangerous as well.

those are only at level-crossings though.

[touchingcloth]

ahem....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUa7Le0ZrcM

Ahahahahahahahaha dick ed dick ed ahahahaha

[pigamus]

those are only at level-crossings though.

Aren't they the ones where the green man is next to you rather than opposite you?

[Endicott]

[touchingcloth]

I hate the puffin ones. Still can't get used to them. They must be dangerous as well.

those are only at level-crossings though.

I don't think improperly knew what a puffin crossing was before I was reading the wiki article yesterday which resulted in my hilarious pelicon bants.

Pelican = the cross signal is displayed on a light on the opposite side of the road, puffin = it's displayed on the box with the button you press to ask the lights to change? It never occurred to me that they weren't just slightly different variations on a pelican crossing. Why do you think dangerous? Because you can't see if it's turned red while you're crossing? Apparently they come with a load of sensors and the like to that they won't change while a slow crosser is still making their way across, which is different to the pelican crossings they have in Manchester where the green symbol is accompanied by a countdown clock showing when the lights will change for you and the cars.

Only at level crossings? Nah, in Bristol they were everywhere. Apparently it's down to what councils prefer, so maybe there are some who only place them at level crossings, but I've never seen any kind of pedestrian controlled level crossing signal personally, presumably because random unscheduled stops would fuck timetables up completely THEY CANT EVEN GET THE SCHEDULED STOPS RIGHT

I also learned that there's a thing called a Pegasus crossing, which is designed for horse riders and so has a separate button for people wanting to cross mounted at horse rider height. I didn't know that "Pegasus" was a euphemism for "cunt".

[a duncandisorderly]

Only at level crossings? Nah, in Bristol they were everywhere....

it was a train joke. puffin. like puffin'. like a steam train. blame my "dad jokes" colleague here.

[touchingcloth]

it was a train joke. puffin. like puffin'. like a steam train. blame my "dad jokes" colleague here.

Well given that they deliberately chose the toucan crossing as a punning name, they're probably kicking themselves that they didn't use this one for level crossings.

[pigamus]

Well as Dave Prowse patiently explained, the green man tells you it's safe to cross, but if you don't know where the green man even fucking is that's got to be a bit dangerous, hasn't it?

[the]

Well as Dave Prowse patiently explained, the green man tells you it's safe to cross, but if you don't know where the green man even fucking is that's got to be a bit dangerous, hasn't it?

Yes. They are fucking dangerous, because if the traffic is stopped but you're approaching the crossing from the side (or if somone is obscuring the signal by standing in front of it), you have no idea whether you've currently got time to cross or not.

People are naturally going to tend to chance it while the traffic is stopped (rather than stay put and delay themselves), so the crossings should play to people's natural tendencies and just give clear visible information. The argument that obscuring the information is going to make people more cautious (rather than more reckless) is ballbags.

Transport for London decided to stop installing Puffins in 2014, as they prefer the far side indicators. Birmingham Council also dislike the low level indicators at busy city centre crossings.[4]

The two most populous cities there, they know the score. Must've been some statistics and litigation behind those decisions too.

The ones with timers on are a thing of beauty.

♫  Oh I love pissing on puffins  ♫

[kalowski]

Tess Daly has unusually long arms, like Mr Tickle.
For this reason I call her Tess Tickle.

[touchingcloth]

When the house explodes in Hot Fuzz, they're watching Bad Boys II. A house explodes in Bad Boys II.

[touchingcloth]

When David Brent does the dance, I think what he's trying to sing is the bass line from Disco Inferno.

[gib]

When David Brent does the dance, I think what he's trying to sing is the bass line from Disco Inferno.

Hat fucked.

[buttgammon]

When David Brent does the dance, I think what he's trying to sing is the bass line from Disco Inferno.

I realised this about a year ago. Mind-blowing!

[peanutbutter]

That Aphex Twin wouldn't be the midnight slot tonight. Wasn't gonna bother heading until 2300 and only checked the times as I was heading out the door to discover he was already on =/

[Sebastian Cobb]

That Aphex Twin wouldn't be the midnight slot tonight. Wasn't gonna bother heading until 2300 and only checked the times as I was heading out the door to discover he was already on =/

Gutted, I'm seeing him do the Warehouse Project in Manchester next friday. Dunno when he's playing, but there's a few others on I'd like to catch including Nina Kraviz.

[Gulftastic]

When Edward in the LoG calls the policeman looking for a boy 'Little Bummer Boy' it's a pun on'Little Drummer Boy'.

[Icehaven]

Rambo and Rocky are completely separate film series, both starring Sylvester Stallone.

[sponk]

ahem....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUa7Le0ZrcM

How come they don't have adverts like that anymore? Do they just assume kids know how to cross roads these days?

[Norton Canes]

No, they just don't care if kids get run over

[touchingcloth]

How come they don't have adverts like that anymore? Do they just assume kids know how to cross roads these days?

It's because there are more pedos these days and they assume - justifiably I think - that pedos want to get their conquests safely home for a raping and so teach them the green cross code well before any molestation begins. I think research shows that the trauma of the peso stuff helps firmly embed the road safety information in their memories.

[NoSleep]

It's because the kids will stab someone once they have crossed the road.

[Neville Chamberlain]

I saw a sign at a recent anti-Brexit that said something like, "We're the ANTI-rogues". It's just dawned on me that it's a play on "PRO-rogue". It still doesn't work for me, though: "prorogue" is a verb, whereas the slogan "we're the ANTI-rogues" uses it as a noun, so the link is missing for me because there's no 'symmetry'.

A big hard Brexit for that sign-holder, I think.

[popcorn]

I saw a sign at a recent anti-Brexit that said something like, "We're the ANTI-rogues". It's just dawned on me that it's a play on "PRO-rogue". It still doesn't work for me, though: "prorogue" is a verb, whereas the slogan "we're the ANTI-rogues" uses it as a noun, so the link is missing for me because there's no 'symmetry'.

A big hard Brexit for that sign-holder, I think.

Yes that sounds like a right fuckup. In fact it's so bad it's made me into a leaver.