What Non-New Films Have You Seen? (2019 Edition)

[A Hat Like That]

I want to see this more than anything at the moment

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7886442/

I think it's a Death Wish knock off with a Charles Bronson lookalike?

At least the trailer makes it look interesting.

I think its in-story deliberate that he looks like Bronson.

This ain't over.

[A Hat Like That]

Emperor of the North

30s hobo wants to catch a train. Ernest Borgnine says no.



no, wait, wrong image.



I like 30s America generally as a setting, and this has scenery and trains and all sorts. Ernest is an absolute force of nature on it.

It could have worked as a marginally shorter silent film, which would have suited the early 30s setting and been properly epic.

[zomgmouse]

I think its in-story deliberate that he looks like Bronson.

I have no idea what the fuck this is but the tagline "justice has a familiar face" would suggest that to be the case.

[Twit 2]

Get Out.

First half was good, got steadily worse and overall is just a total mess of a film.

It's basically Meet the Parents mixed with Being John Malkovich with a few very good bits of racial satire and a fuck of a lot of tedious horror cliches. Good acting, and it passed the time, but I really don't get the hype for this at all. The plot is convoluted and full of holes. In that respect it reminds me of the equally underwhelming A Quiet Place: you can go along with as it's fairly fast paced but think about it for more than a second and it all falls apart. There were lots of nice ideas and touches in this, you could make multiple interesting films out of them, but this wasn't it.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Won't You Be My Neighbor? (2018) - Very sweet and interesting documentary about Fred Rogers and the children's tv show he made for many decades. Not a deep dive in to what he was really like, or how his children were effected, but a fascinating insight in to what looks like an extremely kind and caring man who really wanted to make a difference to the lives of his viewers. 7.6/10

[greenman]

Found a copy of the early Mizoguchi Artfical Eye boxset from a few years ago at a reasonable price and started with The Story of the Last Chrysanthemum from 1939. I was expecting more of an interesting view on his developing style but actually this feels pretty much fully formed to me, if anything pushing the long atmospheric takes even harder than his better known 50's work. The plot perhaps feels a bit dated even if it was typically quite feminist for the time but the focus on atmosphere and physical performances with few closeups and generally subtler drama feels surprising modern. The main negative is the quality is less than perfect, still watchable and reasonably sharp but with some judder to it at points.

[thenoise]

I think this is only the second Troma film I've seen

I've been working my way through this lot, beginning a few years ago when I had little money and nothing better to do, continuing now because I can't stand to leave a job half done. A few moderately polished turds hidden amoungst the diarrhoea, although I have to say Poultergeist looks like a big budget masterpiece compared to some of this stuff.

Most of it is not made in house but genuinely independent (ie home movie with friends type horror/comedy/sexy videos). Also a few public domain type things that everybody seems to release (like the comedies Bela Lugosi made in the 40s).

[Small Man Big Horse]

What Planet Are You From? (2000) - Painfully flawed fish out of water sex-rom-com where Garry Shandling's alien is sent to Earth to seduce and impregnate a woman so that his race can invade the planet at a later date, some of it's funny, some of it's bizarrely misjudged and it's amazing that the film had so many talented people contribute to it (including Bill & Ted's writer Ed Soloman, Larry Sanders writer/producer Peter Tolan and director Mike Nichols) and yet it's still an incredibly messy piece. 5.5/10

[PlanktonSideburns]

Re watched the fly again with the wife

Gena Davies is bloody brilliant isn't she?

[Avril Lavigne]

Breakfast at Tiffany's.  Holly Golightly is a total asshole and I hate her.

[neveragain]

Keeping Rosy. Really good tense thriller with Maxine Peake which constantly surprised. May help I had no idea what it was actually about going in beyond the fact a businesswoman had a bad run of luck. Great ending.

[SteveDave]

I want to see this more than anything at the moment

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7886442/

I think it's a Death Wish knock off with a Charles Bronson lookalike?

Upon Googling the film more, I see that it stars a lovely young lady called Stormi Maya. Sweet Jesus.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Four Murders Are Enough, Darling (1971) - Another comedy from Czechoslovakian director Oldrich Lipský (Lemonade Joe, Dinner For Adele) this is the first that disappointed slightly, it's by no means bad but it's a fairly by the numbers farce where a man is accused of a murder he didn't commit and after that almost every time he opens a door a dead body falls through it. There's some decent dialogue and the plotting is fun but it's overlong and a sags badly in the middle. 6.4/10

[chveik]

Four Murders Are Enough, Darling (1971) - Another comedy from Czechoslovakian director Oldrich Lipský (Lemonade Joe, Dinner For Adele) this is the first that disappointed slightly, it's by no means bad but it's a fairly by the numbers farce where a man is accused of a murder he didn't commit and after that almost every time he opens a door a dead body falls through it. There's some decent dialogue and the plotting is fun but it's overlong and a sags badly in the middle. 6.4/10

have you seen Who Wants to Kill Jessie?, it's a wonderful Czech comedy that might be right up your street.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0125301/

[Sin Agog]

Great shout out, chveik- was honestly just thinking that you'd probably like Jessie as I read your review, SMBH.  You also might find the slightly off Iron Curtainy take on superheroes adds an extra element of interest.

[Small Man Big Horse]

have you seen Who Wants to Kill Jessie?, it's a wonderful Czech comedy that might be right up your street.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0125301/

I haven't but definitely will do so now after your and Sin Agog's recommendation of it.

[Blinder Data]

Breakfast at Tiffany's.  Holly Golightly is a total asshole and I hate her.

I remember watching this and felt sorry for the incredibly racist stereotype that lived above the inconsiderate lady - she must have been a nightmare neighbour. When her and your man are wandering around shops getting up to the sort of lulzworthy hijinks that befit 13 year old scrotes in the Arndale, my patience ran thin. More like Berkfest at Tiffany's!!

Bad Lieutenant (1992) - I've seen the remake, but obvs this is a v different picture. What a performance from Keitel. I'm amazed it was made in 1992 because the scuzzy feel (and poor sound/film quality) scream the 70s. I love a good Catholic film. Couldn't work out who kills him at the end though. I would have thought he was much more valuable to the mafia alive rather than dead. Anyway, it was great stuff, 8.5/10.

[St_Eddie]

I remember watching this and felt sorry for the incredibly racist stereotype that lived above the inconsiderate lady - she must have been a nightmare neighbour. When her and your man are wandering around shops getting up to the sort of lulzworthy hijinks that befit 13 year old scrotes in the Arndale, my patience ran thin. More like Berkfest at Tiffany's!!

Replace the word 'inconsiderate' with the word 'incontinent' and it's a whole different story.

[SteveDave]

"How To Talk To Girls At Parties"

Fuck me this was a waste of time. A 30 year old schoolboy falls in love with an alien who he teaches about "Punk".

The best bit was the flash-forward to 15 years later at the end when (in 1992) the main character is a successful comic book writer and looks like mid-80s Mike Read. Glasses, hair, leather jacket the lot.

Absolute piss from the men who brought you "Hedwig And The Angry Inch" and something about a wizard or whatever it is that Neil Gaiman wrote.

Oh man- edited to say that Nicole Kidman's in it too. Playing a British person. But not like in "Paddington", she's toe-kin lark a Cocknay! It. Is. Bad.

[Small Man Big Horse]

have you seen Who Wants to Kill Jessie?, it's a wonderful Czech comedy that might be right up your street.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0125301/

I watched this tonight and enjoyed it a fair bit, but the ending frustrated and lost it a point. Here's the mini-review I wrote for it:

Who Would Kill Jessie? (1966) - Bizarre Czechoslovakian comedy that for once is not by Oldrich Lipsky, though it is from a writer he worked with on Four Murders Are Enough, Darling and stars Lemonade Joe actress Olga Schoberová. In it a scientist thinks she has created a way to end nightmares forever, and while it works it causes the subjects of the nightmare to materialise in real life. Soon a villainous Superman, a cowboy, and a female super scientist are causing chaos across the city, in a preposterous film which is very enjoyable but has a bit of a shitty ending where the female scientist essentially rapes Superman and both of them end up inside a dog, I know that last bit sounds interesting but it really isn't, and so I can only rate it 6.9/10

Also:

Free Enterprise (1999) - Shitty sexist garbage about two geeks who moan about women when they're not fucking them. There's a subplot with William Shatner where he wants to make a six hour musical version of Julius Caesar where he'd play all the parts which is sort of funny but it's only a small part of the film and the rest of it is painfully unfunny and unlikeable crap. 3/10

"How To Talk To Girls At Parties"

Fuck me this was a waste of time. A 30 year old schoolboy falls in love with an alien who he teaches about "Punk".

The best bit was the flash-forward to 15 years later at the end when (in 1992) the main character is a successful comic book writer and looks like mid-80s Mike Read. Glasses, hair, leather jacket the lot.

Absolute piss from the men who brought you "Hedwig And The Angry Inch" and something about a wizard or whatever it is that Neil Gaiman wrote.

Oh man- edited to say that Nicole Kidman's in it too. Playing a British person. But not like in "Paddington", she's toe-kin lark a Cocknay! It. Is. Bad.

I watched about half an hour of that and then quit, and I hardly ever stop watching films just in case they get better, but by that point I knew it was truly rubbish and so didn't stick with it. It's odd as I love Hedwig and Shortbus, but this really was a mess of a film.

[Ferris]

Witness

It's Harrison Ford, it's 1985, it's got the Amish in it. Quite liked it, but felt a bit bad when his partner died off screen. The titular child witness had a very unusual alien-like face which was a bit disconcerting.

Also thought the head baddie gave up a bit easy in the end, though his henchman did get got by an unarmed Mr Ford using some cows, a ladder, and a silo full of grain so what can you do. Sometimes it is best to cut your losses I suppose.

Overall could have used more farming implements, but a good effort nonetheless.

7/10.

[Ferris]

Re watched the fly again with the wife

Gena Davies is bloody brilliant isn't she?

Yeah mate. I did some management training in the same office building that she "worked" at in The Fly. Woman doing the course was a big Cronenberg fan and didn't know - she looked it up on her phone and was very happy about it.

Spread a little happiness, and all that.

[amputeeporn]

Witness

It's Harrison Ford, it's 1985, it's got the Amish in it. Quite liked it, but felt a bit bad when his partner died off screen. The titular child witness had a very unusual alien-like face which was a bit disconcerting.

Also thought the head baddie gave up a bit easy in the end, though his henchman did get got by an unarmed Mr Ford using some cows, a ladder, and a silo full of grain so what can you do. Sometimes it is best to cut your losses I suppose.

Overall could have used more farming implements, but a good effort nonetheless.

7/10.

Remember this film fondly, from watching it on a travel lodge telly on holiday with my mum, dad and sister when I was wee. Never seen it since.

[St_Eddie]

I rewatched Witness a couple of years ago.  It definitely holds up.

[Ferris]

I rewatched Witness a couple of years ago.  It definitely holds up.

Harrison Ford is very charming in it, but otherwise it is a touch dull.

[St_Eddie]

Harrison Ford is very charming in it, but otherwise it is a touch dull.

Oh, I don't know about that (that it's dull, I mean.  Not that Harrison Ford isn't charming in it, because he absolutely is).  It's a slow burner to be sure, but I think that one just has to be in the right mood for it.  It's not a film that I'd care to watch at any given moment, on a whim, but it's a fine choice for those times when I want to absorb myself in something slower paced.

[greenman]

That whole Ford era between his early 80's blockbusters and early 90's political thrillers is really something I'v not tried for a very long time. I have a vague memory of enjoying The Mosquito Coast on late night TV sometime in the 90's but that was a time before I'v seen say Herzog's south american odysseys and I'm not sure it would still hold as much interest.

[Shit Good Nose]

Witness is still a great film and typical Peter Weir style and pacing.  Also worth a watch is Ringo Lam's pseudo-remake Wild Search.

I still REALLY like Mosquito Coast and in terms of pure acting it's probably Ford's best performance - for an actor who has never been known for his range, he properly went for it in that.  It's also a bit of a diversion for Peter Weir.  But I think it holds up very well.  If anything time has been pretty kind to it.

[SteveDave]

Christopher Robin

It was OK. Seemed a bit like a cynical ploy to ape "Paddington" by Disney to me. There's none of the love that those films have.

[Ferris]

Oh, I don't know about that (that it's dull, I mean.  Not that Harrison Ford isn't charming in it, because he absolutely is).  It's a slow burner to be sure, but I think that one just has to be in the right mood for it.  It's not a film that I'd care to watch at any given moment, on a whim, but it's a fine choice for those times when I want to absorb myself in something slower paced.

**spoilers (for a 34 year old film!)**

"Dull" was a bit harsh maybe, but the mid-film highlight was some Amish men building a barn. I'll put a spoiler tag on this post to avoid ruining some good low-tech action for anyone who hasn't seen it.

I liked it, but it wasn't a high octane thriller. Maybe that says more about me that I described it as "dull", but I have a 2 month old son. I don't do subtle films very well at the moment (I slated Blow Up! for similar reasons I think). I bet it was a lot more atmospheric/enthralling if you watch it with (say) the sound turned above 3/100, or more than 5 hours of sleep in the previous 24hrs.

Unfortunately, I wasn't that arsed about it so won't revisit it for a while to double check. I stand by my original assessment!