Author Topic: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa  (Read 1574 times)

pancreas

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Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« on: January 04, 2019, 10:23:45 PM »
This is the hardest thing in the world, isn't it? You basically have to sit on the fucker for the next 10 years, read the LRB on it, watch the television/laptop screen on it, clean the wine stains off it, wipe the spunk off it. You may as well be marrying it.

It needs to look good, it needs to feel good.

Everyone has these corner things and they do have merits on the assumption that you basically just want a bed that doubles as seat. But you could decide to be more civilised and work with a 3 seater or two.

And people will judge you if you get any of this wrong.

Shit Good Nose

  • Several bags of balls
Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2019, 10:26:59 PM »
Never forget that enormous throws are available for not much money - perfect for prolonging the life and cleanliness of the actual sofa(s) material and covers a colour you're not 100% happy with.

Lemming

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2019, 10:28:13 PM »
Purple. It should be purple. No recliners, recliners are fucking bullshit.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2019, 10:30:09 PM »
No recliners, recliners are fucking bullshit.

Aye. We got to that point very quickly. I mean, there's that Friends episode...

thenoise

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2019, 10:30:24 PM »
Just wait a few weeks, one of your richer friends will be trying to get rid of one on eBay. Turn up with a van and they probably won't even charge you for it.

Buelligan

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2019, 10:31:51 PM »
You need to get yourself an abonnement to Elle Deco, Milk and some of the Côté mags.

Shit Good Nose

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2019, 10:32:08 PM »
No recliners, recliners are fucking bullshit.

Respectfully completely disagree with this statement.  Much easier and more comfortable to snooze on than trying to fit yourself on a two seater (if the three seater is already occupied).

Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2019, 10:33:19 PM »
Gay

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2019, 10:34:47 PM »
Gay

Sorry, I can't find this style on the Barker and Stonehouse website.

Buelligan

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #9 on: January 04, 2019, 10:48:23 PM »
I'm currently quite liking the Chester Moon by Paola Navone


or Ligne Roset's classic, Togo



kittens

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2019, 10:49:18 PM »
i have never paid for a sofa and will never paid for a sofa. they are free. you can find them in front of people's houses. sometimes people online ask you to take their sofa, and it counts as a favour to them. only a fool spends money on a sofa.

Paul Calf

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #11 on: January 04, 2019, 10:51:31 PM »
Make sure you leave the polythene covering on.

Pingers

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #12 on: January 04, 2019, 10:51:38 PM »
There are so many things to think about aren't there? The material, the colour, the softness/firmness of the cushions, and all the reasons it'll be someone else's fault it got chosen if you realise it's shit before you've paid half of it off.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2019, 10:58:24 PM »
I'm currently quite liking the Chester Moon by Paola Navone


This is setting off my trypophobia.

Buelligan

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2019, 11:02:59 PM »
I'm exactly the opposite - I really love things like crumpets and waterlily seed pods because of those weird little holes.  Ohh an octopus's leggy holding a giant strawberry, lovely.

Cuntbeaks

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #15 on: January 04, 2019, 11:03:35 PM »
Gumtree for a Stressless/Ekornes bad boy.

You can get some amazing deals, but make sure you get the footstools.

PlanktonSideburns

  • Our love can destroy this whole fucking world
Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #16 on: January 04, 2019, 11:04:18 PM »
i have never paid for a sofa and will never paid for a sofa. they are free. you can find them in front of people's houses. sometimes people online ask you to take their sofa, and it counts as a favour to them. only a fool spends money on a sofa.

All your sofas will have had litres of mixed human effluent sloshing round in them

Just buy one that looks nice online and get it delivered - if it's a new sofa, then of course it's going to comfortable. Unless you're buying one from greggs or aldi or something, their only function is comfort, these people make sofas for a living - they're not going to fuck this up.

You go into a sofa shop, try the sofas, they're all FINE, none of them are bad - and if the only thing you have to compare it to is the shitbox you have now - wich must be a STATE if you can be bothered to pay mimumum three figures and the arse of dragging sofas round to be rid of the cunt - then it's going to be completely fine what ever you get, so don't narrow the field of choices over pretending you can figure out a comfy sofa down in the stilted dfs air, just get on made .com and get the one that makes your living room look the most like a lynchyan brothel and smash that 1click order button for Christ's sake

I hate to turn your catchphrase on you, but please take a moment to weigh up the pros and cons of pulling youself the fuck together before you proceed any further on this

Jesus

gib

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #17 on: January 04, 2019, 11:09:02 PM »
This is setting off my trypophobia.

Imagine trying to hoover the fucker.

pancreas

  • The islets of Langerhans are the very best islets
Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #18 on: January 04, 2019, 11:12:35 PM »
pulling youself the fuck together before you proceed any further on this

yeah but some seats are like big and your feet come off the floor and others are like small, plus leather and veganuary, plus what about *corner sofas* and 'love seats'. I want love, don't I? They are offering love!

This is too much for one man to deal with.

WHERE'S THE SERTRALINE

SHOOT ME UP

PlanktonSideburns

  • Our love can destroy this whole fucking world
Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #19 on: January 04, 2019, 11:33:50 PM »
OK I've made the choice for you:

https://www.made.com/branagh-left-hand-facing-chaise-end-sofa-electric-blue-velvet

It's got corner energy, ches loungeitude and reclinability

And don't be all like I don't like it - you don't know what you like, you've made that perfectly clear. You will have that sofa for years - in seven years time you will have new skin, bones, hamsters, you will never make the right choice, my guess is as good as your agonised decision, and death looms closer every minute faffing over fabrics. You're welcome

Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #20 on: January 04, 2019, 11:47:05 PM »
Most sofas have unacceptably low backs.

Sherringford Hovis

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #21 on: January 04, 2019, 11:56:07 PM »
Most sofas have unacceptably low backs.

A Porter's Chair solves this problem.

shiftwork2

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #22 on: January 05, 2019, 12:17:42 AM »
Sofa’s a bit non-u, the toffs go with settee.  Alright cheers

Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #23 on: January 05, 2019, 06:54:43 AM »
I'm currently quite liking the Chester Moon by Paola Navone


or Ligne Roset's classic, Togo



Togo owner here.  Looks good but not comfortable.  We are actually gonna eBay ours.

Buelligan

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #24 on: January 05, 2019, 08:07:19 AM »
You say that like you imagine you're the only person ever to own a Togo, whilst I imagine you're the only person to sit on that arse.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #25 on: January 05, 2019, 08:37:42 AM »
Sofas. Not as awful a purchase as a watch but on the way.

Some preening keep up with the Joneses prannock will be selling/giving away their perfectly good sofas on gumtree or whatever. Do that then chuck a large throw over it if you dislike the colour. And if you don't like that chuck a large throw over yourself and barrel roll down an escarpment holding the shite end of a Christmas cracker.

Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #26 on: January 05, 2019, 08:41:08 AM »
What you want is a futon.

Cuellar

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Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #27 on: January 05, 2019, 08:51:40 AM »
Just get a comfortable one

Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #28 on: January 05, 2019, 09:01:26 AM »
You say that like you imagine you're the only person ever to own a Togo

Nope.  Me and my partner just find it a bit uncomfortable you weirdo.

Re: Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa
« Reply #29 on: January 05, 2019, 09:04:52 AM »
Get a rattan/bamboo lounge set. With a peacock chair so you can feel like a king. In your own home.