Mumsnet guest thread no. 679: choosing a sofa

[pancreas]

This is the hardest thing in the world, isn't it? You basically have to sit on the fucker for the next 10 years, read the LRB on it, watch the television/laptop screen on it, clean the wine stains off it, wipe the spunk off it. You may as well be marrying it.

It needs to look good, it needs to feel good.

Everyone has these corner things and they do have merits on the assumption that you basically just want a bed that doubles as seat. But you could decide to be more civilised and work with a 3 seater or two.

And people will judge you if you get any of this wrong.

[Shit Good Nose]

Never forget that enormous throws are available for not much money - perfect for prolonging the life and cleanliness of the actual sofa(s) material and covers a colour you're not 100% happy with.

[Lemming]

Purple. It should be purple. No recliners, recliners are fucking bullshit.

[pancreas]

No recliners, recliners are fucking bullshit.

Aye. We got to that point very quickly. I mean, there's that Friends episode...

[thenoise]

Just wait a few weeks, one of your richer friends will be trying to get rid of one on eBay. Turn up with a van and they probably won't even charge you for it.

[Buelligan]

You need to get yourself an abonnement to Elle Deco, Milk and some of the Côté mags.

[Shit Good Nose]

No recliners, recliners are fucking bullshit.

Respectfully completely disagree with this statement.  Much easier and more comfortable to snooze on than trying to fit yourself on a two seater (if the three seater is already occupied).

[poo]

Gay

[pancreas]

Gay

Sorry, I can't find this style on the Barker and Stonehouse website.

[Buelligan]

I'm currently quite liking the Chester Moon by Paola Navone


or Ligne Roset's classic, Togo

[kittens]

i have never paid for a sofa and will never paid for a sofa. they are free. you can find them in front of people's houses. sometimes people online ask you to take their sofa, and it counts as a favour to them. only a fool spends money on a sofa.

[Paul Calf]

Make sure you leave the polythene covering on.

[Pingers]

There are so many things to think about aren't there? The material, the colour, the softness/firmness of the cushions, and all the reasons it'll be someone else's fault it got chosen if you realise it's shit before you've paid half of it off.

[pancreas]

I'm currently quite liking the Chester Moon by Paola Navone

This is setting off my trypophobia.

[Buelligan]

I'm exactly the opposite - I really love things like crumpets and waterlily seed pods because of those weird little holes.  Ohh an octopus's leggy holding a giant strawberry, lovely.

[Cuntbeaks]

Gumtree for a Stressless/Ekornes bad boy.

You can get some amazing deals, but make sure you get the footstools.

[PlanktonSideburns]

i have never paid for a sofa and will never paid for a sofa. they are free. you can find them in front of people's houses. sometimes people online ask you to take their sofa, and it counts as a favour to them. only a fool spends money on a sofa.

All your sofas will have had litres of mixed human effluent sloshing round in them

Just buy one that looks nice online and get it delivered - if it's a new sofa, then of course it's going to comfortable. Unless you're buying one from greggs or aldi or something, their only function is comfort, these people make sofas for a living - they're not going to fuck this up.

You go into a sofa shop, try the sofas, they're all FINE, none of them are bad - and if the only thing you have to compare it to is the shitbox you have now - wich must be a STATE if you can be bothered to pay mimumum three figures and the arse of dragging sofas round to be rid of the cunt - then it's going to be completely fine what ever you get, so don't narrow the field of choices over pretending you can figure out a comfy sofa down in the stilted dfs air, just get on made .com and get the one that makes your living room look the most like a lynchyan brothel and smash that 1click order button for Christ's sake

I hate to turn your catchphrase on you, but please take a moment to weigh up the pros and cons of pulling youself the fuck together before you proceed any further on this

Jesus

[gib]

This is setting off my trypophobia.

Imagine trying to hoover the fucker.

[pancreas]

pulling youself the fuck together before you proceed any further on this

yeah but some seats are like big and your feet come off the floor and others are like small, plus leather and veganuary, plus what about *corner sofas* and 'love seats'. I want love, don't I? They are offering love!

This is too much for one man to deal with.

WHERE'S THE SERTRALINE

SHOOT ME UP

[PlanktonSideburns]

OK I've made the choice for you:

https://www.made.com/branagh-left-hand-facing-chaise-end-sofa-electric-blue-velvet

It's got corner energy, ches loungeitude and reclinability

And don't be all like I don't like it - you don't know what you like, you've made that perfectly clear. You will have that sofa for years - in seven years time you will have new skin, bones, hamsters, you will never make the right choice, my guess is as good as your agonised decision, and death looms closer every minute faffing over fabrics. You're welcome

[Sebastian Cobb]

Most sofas have unacceptably low backs.

[Sherringford Hovis]

Most sofas have unacceptably low backs.

A Porter's Chair solves this problem.

[shiftwork2]

Sofa's a bit non-u, the toffs go with settee.  Alright cheers

[Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle]

I'm currently quite liking the Chester Moon by Paola Navone


or Ligne Roset's classic, Togo

Togo owner here.  Looks good but not comfortable.  We are actually gonna eBay ours.

[Buelligan]

You say that like you imagine you're the only person ever to own a Togo, whilst I imagine you're the only person to sit on that arse.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Sofas. Not as awful a purchase as a watch but on the way.

Some preening keep up with the Joneses prannock will be selling/giving away their perfectly good sofas on gumtree or whatever. Do that then chuck a large throw over it if you dislike the colour. And if you don't like that chuck a large throw over yourself and barrel roll down an escarpment holding the shite end of a Christmas cracker.

[Urinal Cake]

What you want is a futon.

[Cuellar]

Just get a comfortable one

[Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle]

You say that like you imagine you're the only person ever to own a Togo

Nope.  Me and my partner just find it a bit uncomfortable you weirdo.

[Urinal Cake]

Get a rattan/bamboo lounge set. With a peacock chair so you can feel like a king. In your own home.