Author Topic: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee  (Read 1596 times)

Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #30 on: January 06, 2019, 05:10:53 PM »


I bet you're at least twenty years older than me you decrepit staring-into-the-face-of-death actually-remembers-a-previous-British-currency fuck.

Cuellar

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #31 on: January 06, 2019, 05:22:33 PM »
Pubs shouldn't serve Nigerians, they should fuck off to a Nigerian shop.

I can't believe you'd say something like this. Utterly outrageous.

And I CANNOT BELIEVE that no one on comedy website cookdandbombd noticed my reference to famous comedy The Young Ones.

Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #32 on: January 06, 2019, 05:24:52 PM »
[tag]now lad's we've all had a few pints[/tag]

Paul Calf

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #33 on: January 06, 2019, 05:25:12 PM »
I bet you're at least twenty years older than me you decrepit staring-into-the-face-of-death actually-remembers-a-previous-British-currency fuck.

I remember when it was proper pound notes*. And half pence pieces. Proper money, that. None of your polymer fiver bollocks.


*In Scotland

Paul Calf

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #34 on: January 06, 2019, 05:26:10 PM »
I can't believe you'd say something like this. Utterly outrageous.

And I CANNOT BELIEVE that no one on comedy website cookdandbombd noticed my reference to famous comedy The Young Ones.

I did.

imitationleather

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #35 on: January 06, 2019, 05:26:34 PM »
I used to go to the same pub in Peckham every Saturday at 9pm on the dot and have a coffee. It wasn't a 'spoons, it was a normal pub. I'd go in even if I didn't want a coffee, because I could tell the bar staff would be disappointed if I didn't turn up. Over time we developed some funny banter where they actually feigned looking disappointed when I walked through the door. Eventually they'd even mutter "For fuck's sake" as soon as they saw me and do some jokey arguing about how they didn't want to make a coffee and that lots of other people needed to be served and I always fucked off after having one drink and it wasn't fair. It was really funny.

I miss those guys.

Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #36 on: January 06, 2019, 05:26:52 PM »
I can't believe you'd say something like this. Utterly outrageous.

And I CANNOT BELIEVE that no one on comedy website cookdandbombd noticed my reference to famous comedy The Young Ones.

Yeah, I noticed it, too. Pretty sure a lot of us did, to be fair.

Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #37 on: January 06, 2019, 05:28:18 PM »
I remember when it was proper pound notes*. And half pence pieces. Proper money, that. None of your polymer fiver bollocks.

The bloke in the spice shop round my way wouldn't take a poly fiver with a small (< 5mm) nick in it. I wouldn't mind, but the hypocrite had hole punched the top of the bag of mustard seeds I was buying to get them on the peg rack, something I discovered when I turned the bag upside down and they started going all over the floor.

#thatsinterestingsebastian

pigamus

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #38 on: January 06, 2019, 05:33:01 PM »
I think you're underestimating how long people can keep up walking the tightrope of 'heavy drinker' and 'functional alcoholic'.

I feel so seen.

Cuellar

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #39 on: January 06, 2019, 05:50:34 PM »
I did.

Yeah, I noticed it, too. Pretty sure a lot of us did, to be fair.

I don't believe you

Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #40 on: January 06, 2019, 05:54:44 PM »
I don't believe you

That's Frank Spencer.

ziggy starbucks

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #41 on: January 06, 2019, 05:56:54 PM »
yeah, I'll just have an orange juice thanks

Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #42 on: January 06, 2019, 06:06:57 PM »
Jar of Nescafe came in my local and asked for a pint of lager.  'Sorry, mate,' came the answer.  'We don't serve coffee.'

(slinks out to silence, except one person going 'ha-ha-ha' slowly and sarcastically).

Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #43 on: January 06, 2019, 06:12:42 PM »
yeah, I'll just have an orange juice thanks

Get back on your fixie and ruin someone else's pub.

king_tubby

  • A beating would do me the world of good
Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #44 on: January 06, 2019, 06:16:37 PM »
What fresh idiocy is this? Can't get a fucking double scotch with your fucking coffee in fucking Starbucks, can you? Cunts.

I applaud the public house with a coffee machine.

Phoenix Lazarus

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #45 on: January 06, 2019, 06:17:41 PM »
I applaud the public house with a coffee machine.

Most other people would use their hands.

king_tubby

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #46 on: January 06, 2019, 06:18:25 PM »
Most other people have hands, you hater.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #47 on: January 06, 2019, 06:28:50 PM »
Generally agree with this, but more specifically I would support a pub that chose not to serve coffee or cooked food.

king_tubby

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #48 on: January 06, 2019, 06:31:07 PM »
And yet the Merry Monk still closed.

Pingers

  • With the ill behaviour
Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #49 on: January 06, 2019, 06:34:07 PM »
What about an Espresso Martini then, eh? Eh? What about it then eh? EH? What the fuck about that then? Is that allowed? It's it? WELL IS IT THEN OR WHAT?? FUCKING ANSWER!!!

Sorry about that, I've had too many Espresso Martinis.

Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #50 on: January 06, 2019, 08:41:56 PM »
I used to go to the same pub in Peckham every Saturday at 9pm on the dot and have a coffee. It wasn't a 'spoons, it was a normal pub. I'd go in even if I didn't want a coffee, because I could tell the bar staff would be disappointed if I didn't turn up. Over time we developed some funny banter where they actually feigned looking disappointed when I walked through the door. Eventually they'd even mutter "For fuck's sake" as soon as they saw me and do some jokey arguing about how they didn't want to make a coffee and that lots of other people needed to be served and I always fucked off after having one drink and it wasn't fair. It was really funny.

I miss those guys.

*Obvious joke about them being serious*

St_Eddie

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #51 on: January 06, 2019, 09:26:34 PM »
Coffee shouldn't be served with pubes.

pancreas

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #52 on: January 07, 2019, 09:21:43 AM »
What about an Espresso Martini then, eh? Eh? What about it then eh? EH? What the fuck about that then? Is that allowed? It's it? WELL IS IT THEN OR WHAT?? FUCKING ANSWER!!!

Sorry about that, I've had too many Espresso Martinis.

These things are the very apogee of infantilisation. A proper martini is 70-90% gin, hence reasonably expensive. EMs are a way of making you drink loads of sugar instead while still getting to call it a martini. Starbucks for hen parties.

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #53 on: January 07, 2019, 10:23:05 AM »
Yet again Spoons does it right as they do coffee but it's self-service, they just give you a cup at the bar and you go to the machine and help yourself, which might defeat the object but you can have unlimited refills (dunno if it's any good as coffee goes though, I don't drink it.) I daresay if you just took your own cup and helped yourself without paying they wouldn't even notice. The hot chocolate is way more fun as you get a cup and a big square chocolate lolly that you have to take to the machine and dissolve in hot milk.

Paul Calf

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #54 on: January 07, 2019, 10:27:36 AM »
As an added bonus, you get that warm fuzzy glow that comes from coming contributing money to support the campaign for Britain’s independence.

Uncle TechTip

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #55 on: January 07, 2019, 10:28:54 AM »
If they allowed fruit machines in coffee shops this wouldn't even be a problem.

Cuellar

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #56 on: January 07, 2019, 10:29:15 AM »
What about an Espresso Martini then, eh? Eh? What about it then eh? EH? What the fuck about that then? Is that allowed? It's it? WELL IS IT THEN OR WHAT?? FUCKING ANSWER!!!

Sorry about that, I've had too many Espresso Martinis.

They've always sounded utterly revolting to me so of course they shouldn't be served in pubs. Or in bars. Or hotels. Or brothels. Or restaurants. Or scissel.

icehaven

  • I will be in the bar, with my head on the bar
Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #57 on: January 07, 2019, 10:29:34 AM »
As an added bonus, you get that warm fuzzy glow that comes from coming contributing money to support the campaign for Britain’s independence.

Yet again Spoons does it right as they do coffee but it's self-service, they just give you a cup at the bar and you go to the machine and help yourself, which might defeat the object but you can have unlimited refills (dunno if it's any good as coffee goes though, I don't drink it.) I daresay if you just took your own cup and helped yourself without paying they wouldn't even notice. The hot chocolate is way more fun as you get a cup and a big square chocolate lolly that you have to take to the machine and dissolve in hot milk.

Paul Calf

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Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #58 on: January 07, 2019, 10:31:35 AM »
Well, that’s just naughty thieving and I cannot condone it.

* Paul Calf roots through cupboard for 12-inch plate cup

Pingers

  • With the ill behaviour
Re: Pubs shouldn't serve coffee
« Reply #59 on: January 07, 2019, 10:49:17 AM »
They've always sounded utterly revolting to me so of course they shouldn't be served in pubs. Or in bars. Or hotels. Or brothels. Or restaurants. Or scissel.

They are actually very tasty, although I've only ever made my own so can't comment on what you get served in bars. The last time I had one though it did make me feel like Tyres from Spaced.